a reply to: CriticalStinker
Oh, you are an absolute delight! I mean that.
It is my viewpoint that having such discussions about who we are helps not only validates our own experiences and self image (inside one's true self),
but also helps understand situations better, i.e.: just hearing you talk about yourself gives me such relief that my daughter will be okay. I know she
will be okay, life just always seems to work out (and a lot of that is our expectations and positive or un-positive mindset), but just that I must let
her be herself (while guiding her), for she is exactly who she should be and must find ways to accept herself.
I love what you said about managing for companies and finding empathy through it. My number one icky pet peeve, and it's not by choice, is the sound
of someone eating with their mouth open. It is like nails on a chalkboard. However, the few people that I have had to work with that did that, I found
out has sinus issues. And as soon as I understood that the issue never bothered me again - with those people. Some people who can't leave you alone at
work and disrupt you and have to be recognized for every little thing including cutting their toenails and just never shut up - I found out they had
severe ADHD. Same thing - it's who they are and not being done on purpose and so it no longer bothered me. If we can understand the reason someone is
the way they are because of trauma in their lives, lack of love, or something medical then there is empathy, understanding, coping and developed
relationships. And for those co-workers who like to bully others or sabotage your own work - they have such low self esteem that it's heartbreakingly
sad. I am so proud of you! I mean it. It takes many a long life to realize it's not about us all the time.
You are so right: empathy is where it's at. Bang on.
Holy cow - there is someone out there that is my husband's twin. He is just like you. Only needs 4 hours of sleep and can go like a beast all day at
work and still come home and do whatever jobs need doing and all the while he is pushing me to get moving. I need 8 hours of sleep a night and cannot
function. So yes, we have many clashes when it comes to our own specific needs and his expectations. Ummm, I mean his expectations, ha. All I ask is
for freedom to be ME and I am happy. No, that is not normal, BUT, again what is normal. You just operate differently. The only problem I would say
with that is my husband, so maybe you do too, never feels satisfied with what he has accomplished in a day. He is very hard on himself and also on us
if we can't keep up. He is 53 and puts many 20 year olds in his trade to shame, both physically and mentally.
You are very intuitive, and funny. I met him when I was 21/he was 22. We are like firecrackers, yet like a perfect glove all at the same time. I
didn't want kids when young due to an abusive childhood and so didn't want to be that type of parent. So I had my daughter when I was 35. I made sure
I had therapy, was calm, happy with myself and had lived life for me before I entered into thinking of becoming a parent. Best thing I ever did. And I
was adamant I would never have kids. It was my mantra, ha. She is turning 19 in April. I have warned her that I will send her poor husband for
counselling before he marries her. She laughs, and she says, "I will be the boss". She is adamant no one is going to tell her what to do. And I keep
reiterating that a relationship isn't about bossing or lording over anyone. It's mutual love and respect. I've said that since forever with her to
make sure she'll get it when and if she ever makes that decision.
Thank you for your advice, sincerely. I do appreciate it very much.