My in-laws said something to me last night...

The question they posed to me was...”where do you draw the line between quality of life and enjoying life”. This really pissed me off. Here’s why:

It was my sister-in-laws birthday dinner at a nice Italian restaurant called Maggianos. It’s a carb infested, calorie induced food coma coming at ya with every plate. I try to avoid carbs as much as I can. They don’t. My wife has finally started to see the benefits of eating a healthier diet than the standard American one, but the rest of her family avoids the word “healthy” at all costs.

Everyone orders a pasta, I order a salmon salad. I’ve stopped trying to encourage them to educate themselves on what they’re consuming but after 3+ years my efforts have been futile. So whatever, they want to continue on with their diabetes, high blood pressure, self-induced disabilities and what not...that’s fine. To each their own. But they’ve started to actually look a little lesser at me because I don’t follow their ways.

Here’s the deal. I had a stroke a number of years ago. I’m only 37, so it was a pretty scary thing to have at such a young age. Since then I’ve done a lot to better my overall health. Exercise has always been present in my life. Diet wasn’t because I was completely uneducated. I actually thought a ham and cheese sandwich with all the fixins was a healthy choice. The label on the bread package said as much! Once I was blind and now I can see!

Anyway, my sister-in-law has high cholesterol and she’s only 28. She’s already on medicine for it. My father-in-law is knocking on deaths door step...only drinks soda, never eats a home cooked meal, eat fast food 2-3 times a day. He has an entire cabinet full of medicine he has to take. My wife’s god parents are in the same boat. Needless to say I’m the @$$hole for not consuming their diet.
After last night I nearly flipped.

When I was asked that question, where do I draw the line between quality of life and enjoyment of life I wanted to scream. I didn’t, of course. But here’s the thing...I worked in the medical field for 15 years. As an LPN in an ICU, I’ve seen people die from just about everything. Treating your body poorly doesn’t make it any easier. In many cases, it makes it far, far worse. I’m not saying healthy people die peacefully, of course that’s not the case. But watching diabetics die a LONG, SLOW, mutilating death is abhorrently difficult as a health care provider and more so for the family.

Yet, here they all are, debilitated from enjoying the rest of their lives and I’m the one who isn’t enjoying mine because I choose not to fill my stomach with garbage? Because I strongly encourage my wife to abandon their ways? I found it discouraging more than insulting; frustrating more anything.

Anyway, more of a rant than anything. But I’ve seen it far too often. I don’t force people to eat things, I only try to encourage a healthier lifestyle so they aren’t the ones waiting for a motorized cart to move them around the grocery store. It’s all a matter of perspective I suppose.

*sigh*

There is no cure. They have to find out for themselves. It is like an addiction.

Anecdotal evidences:
On Reddit
On Voat, but a bit more extreme

originally posted by: Assassin82
It was my sister-in-laws birthday dinner at a nice Italian restaurant called Maggianos.

That is an abomination-level restaurant in the same manner that Olive Garden and Macaroni Grill are, no wonder they have health problems.

a reply to: Assassin82

There are no old Italians? I thought Mediterranean diet was one of the healthiest.

a reply to: toms54


An actual Italian diet doesn't involve shoving 'endless breadsticks' into your pie hole. Neither does it have a plethora of pastas drenched in cream sauces or meat/chicken slathered in cheese.


Gross ass food is gross.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus
a reply to: toms54


An actual Italian diet doesn't involve shoving 'endless breadsticks' into your pie hole. Neither does it have a plethora of pastas drenched in cream sauces or meat/chicken slathered in cheese.


Gross ass food is gross.

Amen to that! Another thing that drives me nuts is they have a meal where you order a pasta and get a take-home pasta for “free”. So, you know, enough garbage to keep you’re cholesterol high for the week!

originally posted by: ManFromEurope
*sigh*

There is no cure. They have to find out for themselves. It is like an addiction.

Anecdotal evidences:
On Reddit
On Voat, but a bit more extreme

Well there’s always that handy dandy and 100% not so accurate food triangle thingy that we’ve all feasted on here in the states. It was ingrained in to our youthful heads since grade school.

a reply to: Assassin82


Sounds yummy. Couple that with an authentic Italian beverage like a Mountain Dew and you're set.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

originally posted by: Assassin82
It was my sister-in-laws birthday dinner at a nice Italian restaurant called Maggianos.

That is an abomination-level restaurant in the same manner that Olive Garden and Macaroni Grill are, no wonder they have health problems.

They love it there. Luckily that salmon salad is decent enough.

a reply to: Assassin82


I'm sure they do, it's engineered food with just the right amounts of salt, sugar and fat to make you shovel it in without stopping. It actually changes your brain chemistry so that you crave it, food-related issues like this can be even more addictive than opioids.

a reply to: Assassin82

Christ everything in moderation.

This is a pet peeve of mine when it comes to eating healthy people think you have to do it 100% of the time, one cheat meal or on special occasions isnt gonna kill you.

And all carbs arent the enemy low GI carbs sweet potatoes, brown rice, green beans etc is where its at.

If you think eating bad once in a while is gonna kill you you are crazy, its when you make a habit and lifestyle of constantly eating $hit and being sedentary it becomes a problem.

My key to life is everything in moderation and happy mediums its worked well and im in better shape than most of these people who scream low carbs oh no I cant eat that 24/7 who are HALF my age.

Eating healthy is great and im 100% behind it and do it, but this thought process of I can never eat a slice of pizza or lasagna ever again as long as I live is stupid and unnecessary.

Eating crappy only a few times a month isn't gonna put ya in the grave any quicker.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus
a reply to: Assassin82


I'm sure they do, it's engineered food with just the right amounts of salt, sugar and fat to make you shovel it in without stopping. It actually changes your brain chemistry so that you crave it, food-related issues like this can be even more addictive than opioids.

True statement! I remember when I first cut carbs out of my diet. I was trained to eat 3 meals a day. Like clock work, you crave those meals and enjoy snacks in between. When I cut the carbs I was never really hungry, but felt the need to eat nutrient packed foods. Combined it with intermittent fasting and I felt absolutely amazing every day.

No hunger pains, no upset stomach, no bloating, no sleep issues, no joint pains, tons of energy, clear thinking, and a youthful spring in my step I hadn’t felt in years. When I try to tell people this it’s like they hit the mute button on me...many don’t even want to listen to my first hand experience. Incredibly frustrating at times.

Correct...I agree

I don’t think I’ll ever want to go full Keto. Like you, I enjoy a splurge of pizza or a greasy burger from time to time. Carnival foods and ball park pretzels and a summer beer are amazing things. As you said...in moderation.

But I won’t risk my health. I won’t risk the physical pains and mental sluggishness that comes with too much. I don’t have to have a drink every weekend, I don’t have to eat a thanksgiving feast for every occasion. But I absolutely will pay attention to what and how much I’m putting into my body. Being judged for that is what pisses me off.



But carbs are a big issue. The standard American diet is, to me, the same if not worse than the tobacco industry from the 50’s-90’s.

We do 'Clean' eating.
No fast food, sugar, salt...Measured/weighed portions of protein/carbs/veggies for each meal...ALL fresh and Organic.

I don't feel I'm missing out on anything.

originally posted by: Assassin82
Correct...I agree

I don’t think I’ll ever want to go full Keto. Like you, I enjoy a splurge of pizza or a greasy burger from time to time. Carnival foods and ball park pretzels and a summer beer are amazing things. As you said...in moderation.

But I won’t risk my health. I won’t risk the physical pains and mental sluggishness that comes with too much. I don’t have to have a drink every weekend, I don’t have to eat a thanksgiving feast for every occasion. But I absolutely will pay attention to what and how much I’m putting into my body. Being judged for that is what pisses me off.

Regarding your OP

You're not gonna change those people mindsets, here is the kicker especially about most Americans.

People will work to have a nice house, they will work to drive a nice car, but they wont work for their most important asset which is their health.

In the end its them who have got to deal with the high blood pressure, diabetes, and obesity. Its them who don't have the energy to get outside and enjoy life with their kids. All of them want a magic pill to be fit and healthy and their isnt one.

Its sad but reality.

Unfortunately you can't make people change and you can't force them to join you on your journey. Just leave it alone because it's their problem not yours. You're causing yourself undue stress as a result. Believe me, I know how frustrating it can be! I'm a master licensed nutritionist and no, I didn't buy a shake and join a 60 minute web-cast to call myself a coach. I ACTUALLY went to school, paid for it, studied and passed to earn my degree! And that's one of MY pet peeves... people being Google-Nutritionist. Anyway... keep going forward on your healthy life-style and let the nay-sayers be nay-sayers.

I understand that's frustrating, I used to have a horrible diet. Still kind of do, the only time I drank water in the last 10 years was while I was pregnant, and that was because I felt it was my duty to for the baby- not for myself. I still only drink soda, but I have cut out all the fast food. I only cook for myself now, however I'm real big on red meat.

I've passed 10+ kidney stones since I turned 14.

It's a wonder that I haven't become obese yet.

I guess what I'm saying is I understand you, and I understand them. Who wants to admit that they are leading an unhealthy life, and even consider that they've made a mistake when it's much easier to give into desire and say "well at least I lived my life eating how I wanted."

Cheers to your better health, and I hope your family that you clearly care about will come around to a healthier lifestyle soon.

Hell, I hope I can bring myself to kick the soda and red meat myself.

-Alee

When people get defensive about it, it's usually because they are jealous. Either they can't do what you do or they won't for whatever reason... but they want too. At the same time you have to remember this... please do NOT demonize a food group. There really is no such thing as a health food. Food is food and units of energy (calories) are just units of energy. True, the body will use them for different purposes in different ways but in the end... it's just energy. In and out. A specific food group does NOT make a person fat but too much of that specific food group does. A person can become obese eating all whole natural organic fruits and vegetables just like a person can become obese eating fried chicken. When it comes to weight loss it's the amount that matters, not the type. Obviously if you have a good balance of macro's and a calorie target set up for weight loss, and you stick to those numbers consistently, you'll feel better eating nutrient dense foods. Balance is everything. Moderation is key.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus
a reply to: toms54


An actual Italian diet doesn't involve shoving 'endless breadsticks' into your pie hole. Neither does it have a plethora of pastas drenched in cream sauces or meat/chicken slathered in cheese.


Gross ass food is gross.

Don't know anything about Maggotano's but I grew up around Italian people and I know they do eat pasta.

originally posted by: ker2010

originally posted by: Assassin82
Correct...I agree

I don’t think I’ll ever want to go full Keto. Like you, I enjoy a splurge of pizza or a greasy burger from time to time. Carnival foods and ball park pretzels and a summer beer are amazing things. As you said...in moderation.

But I won’t risk my health. I won’t risk the physical pains and mental sluggishness that comes with too much. I don’t have to have a drink every weekend, I don’t have to eat a thanksgiving feast for every occasion. But I absolutely will pay attention to what and how much I’m putting into my body. Being judged for that is what pisses me off.

Regarding your OP

You're not gonna change those people mindsets, here is the kicker especially about most Americans.

People will work to have a nice house, they will work to drive a nice car, but they wont work for their most important asset which is their health.

In the end its them who have got to deal with the high blood pressure, diabetes, and obesity. Its them who don't have the energy to get outside and enjoy life with their kids. All of them want a magic pill to be fit and healthy and their isnt one.

Its sad but reality.

I gave up on trying to encourage them to eat healthier some time ago when I realized they were set as stone in their ways. I don’t have any hard feelings towards them. My wife though is starting to get worried because she knows her dad is eating himself out of seeing the birth of her first child (not preggo yet, but planning to soon). She nearly tears up thinking about it.

Life is life though. We can only control the one we have.