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Women on the view imply we are bigots if we discuss certain facts on marriage

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posted on Jan, 6 2019 @ 11:29 PM
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a reply to: Grambler

Let me ask you this, why should a woman be expected to marry someone? If a woman is a high earner, why can she not simply be willing to not settle down with a man who isn't not just a high earner, but even better than her?

It's called competition. What our entire society is based on. If you want to marry that rich woman, then try harder in life.




posted on Jan, 7 2019 @ 06:28 AM
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a reply to: Nyiah




especially the one that ignored their early intuition.


why do I get the impression that what you are saying here is really that both are equally responsible, but the female, who "everyone knows" is the more intuitive one shares more of the blame???

and yes, society does share in the responsibility...
we have a whole denomination of churches in this country that teaches their little boys and little girls that the little boys, when grown will have the final say in all things and those little girls should just accept whatever he says. That if the man doesn't want the women working, then she shouldn't be working!!

and yes, society has played a role in it.
the drive to make marital rape illegal didn't start till the mid 70's and it was a slow process that is still evolving. so, older people like me, well we grew up and entered our adult life in a world where you just might have any legal process if their husband didn't take no for an answer. we entered a workforce that didn't have equal pay for equal work, and doors were shut to us in many fields to make sure we stayed dependent on the males. and yes, parents were trying to arrange our marriages, or in my case, being the youngest daughter, well, my mom had made up her mind that I would just stay home and take care of her in her old age, or at least that was one of the crazy things she told me. another one was that I would marry a rich man and he would take care of both of us. but one thing was pretty clear to me, it was more important to her that my brother went to college and it came to me well... no, she wouldn't even come up with the funds for the entrance exams. the actual cost for the college was taken care of through scholarships that I would have gotten. but nope... no way that was gonna happen!!!

and, sorry, but dependency does equal servitude in many people's minds, just look at how so many here think that since someone is needing the help of those safety nets and using their tax money, it should give them the right to decide what they do, what they eat, what they buy. you don't think husbands who know that they are earning all or the bulk of the money aren't looking at things in the same way? that they should be able to control what their wives spend their money on, or use those funds as a form of punishment if she doesn't do what he wants?

writing a few laws just don't make this kind of crap vanish. children who are raised in a setting where dad is the one that holds all the power and mom is just an extended hand of his will have developed personality characteristics because of it. they may accept that this is the way it should be and follow in dad's footsteps or they might decide that no, it shouldn't be that way and overcompensate and become the doormat in their own marriage. but, the effect will be there to be passed down to their own kids... in time, we will probably figure it out and stabilize, but we are still paying for the sins of our past so to speak.

the problem is, where you are trying so hard to place blame on someone, I am just trying to understand just what is going on. where we came from has led us to where we are now!!



posted on Jan, 7 2019 @ 06:56 AM
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a reply to: dawnstar


we have a whole denomination of churches in this country that teaches their little boys and little girls that the little boys, when grown will have the final say in all things and those little girls should just accept whatever he says. That if the man doesn't want the women working, then she shouldn't be working!!

Pray tell, what denomination would that be? Because I have never encountered nor even heard of it, and I have lived in the dead center of the buckle of the Bible belt all my life.

TheRedneck



posted on Jan, 7 2019 @ 07:11 AM
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a reply to: Grambler

Lets just ignore the FACT that this possibility is only a decade or two old at best amongst the middle class.
I thought that many think that women were gold diggers who only wanted rich men to take care of them.
I decided pretty early on... when I became a teenage mother and the teenage father took off for the hills that I was going to make myself rich and not ever depend on a man to financially support me. And I have kept that promise to myself.
I have always made more than my husband and I will confess that early on he had an issue with it but when we were living the life where lots of fun things were possible he changed his mind.
Together we supported our family.
I do not know the mindset of young women today. I think that most women want to be respected and treated as an equal in any relationship.
The idea of the article is possible but I do not know if it is actually popular or shared by any majority amongst women.
I am in a very long term relationship and I am of another generation so I cannot speak for those seeking a mate in this day and age.
edit on 172019 by Sillyolme because: (no reason given)



posted on Jan, 7 2019 @ 07:14 AM
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originally posted by: Aazadan
a reply to: Grambler

Let me ask you this, why should a woman be expected to marry someone? If a woman is a high earner, why can she not simply be willing to not settle down with a man who isn't not just a high earner, but even better than her?

It's called competition. What our entire society is based on. If you want to marry that rich woman, then try harder in life.


No one I saying she should have to marry

The point is we know declining marriage leads to all sorts of problems, and we need to be honest about those problems and try to solve them

No one is suggesting forcing wealthy women to marry



posted on Jan, 7 2019 @ 07:19 AM
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a reply to: Sillyolme

I am one phone but again, many studies have shown that women are less likely to marry men that earn less than them

I think that it is great there are women earning very hi incomes. They have always been as capable as men, and the majority of the time they earn less it’s because of personal choices

When they chose to be career oriented, they seem to do great, and I support that entirely

So I don’t want women to earn less

That success has merely led to other problems which we should be honest about and try to address

Just like economic success has led to other problems like obesity, but I wouldn’t recommend getting rid of economic success to solve obesity



posted on Jan, 7 2019 @ 07:32 AM
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a reply to: TheRedneck


1 Timothy 2:11-12 ESV / Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet.


Ephesians 5:22 ESV / Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.


Ephesians 5:22-33 ESV / Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church


Recognize any of these?
edit on 172019 by Sillyolme because: (no reason given)



posted on Jan, 7 2019 @ 07:35 AM
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a reply to: Grambler


I am one phone...



You might want to ditch that phone, Grambler. It sounds like it's starting to develop self-awareness!



TheRedneck



posted on Jan, 7 2019 @ 07:36 AM
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a reply to: Sillyolme


Recognize any of these?

Yep. Do you know the context?

TheRedneck

edit on 1/7/2019 by TheRedneck because: I am going to find the guy who created Firefox, nail his naked butt to a stump by his [censored] [censored] [censored] and walk away laughing!



posted on Jan, 7 2019 @ 07:51 AM
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originally posted by: TheRedneck
a reply to: Grambler


I am one phone...



You might want to ditch that phone, Grambler. It sounds like it's starting to develop self-awareness!



TheRedneck


Hahaha!

What I need to ditch is these fat fingers that cant type on the phone or keyboard as well.



posted on Jan, 7 2019 @ 08:07 AM
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originally posted by: Sillyolme
a reply to: TheRedneck


1 Timothy 2:11-12 ESV / Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet.


Ephesians 5:22 ESV / Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.


Ephesians 5:22-33 ESV / Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church


Recognize any of these?


How you have taken slips of words, quote mined and lied to prove a point

Husbands are called to be as Jesus was towards their wives, Jesus died for His bride
Husbands are called to die for their wife’s, millions have, many millions have fought on fields for their families countries and communities, but you have read ons slip of the bible and have a different opinion

Jesus was the head of the church and was killed, but you can’t see that because it doesn’t agree with your beliefs, confirmation bias

As for Timothy and what you quoted, ons single scripture aimed at a particular community where women were known for being disruptive, never mentioned again but you Silly, you try and establish a whole doctrine on it

Fortunately Christians understand context and in most churches women are equal to men, sorry, there are a lots of verses in the bible you have completely ignored that teach women are equal to men in church

Sillyolyou



posted on Jan, 7 2019 @ 08:10 AM
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They are correct. Right wingers are nothing more than a death cult of racists an bigots. a reply to: Grambler


edit on 7-1-2019 by soundguy because: (no reason given)



posted on Jan, 7 2019 @ 08:11 AM
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originally posted by: TheRedneck
a reply to: Sillyolme


Recognize any of these?

Yep. Do you know the context?

TheRedneck

edit on 1/7/2019 by TheRedneck because: I am going to find the guy who created Firefox, nail his naked butt to a stump by his [censored] [censored] [censored] and walk away laughing!


Context? What is this ... context you speak of? If we used context, then we wouldn't have our nifty talking points.



posted on Jan, 7 2019 @ 08:34 AM
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a reply to: ketsuko

Good point. How silly of me!


TheRedneck



posted on Jan, 7 2019 @ 09:36 AM
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a reply to: TheRedneck

are you gonna argue that that "context" has evolved over the past, say, 50-60 years??

as far as I know, this "context" was recently interpreted by the baptist church rather recently to this:




The husband and wife are of equal worth before God, since both are created in God’s image. A husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church. He has the God-given responsibility to provide for, to protect, and to lead his family. A wife is to submit herself graciously to the servant leadership of her husband even as the church willingly submits to the headship of Christ. She, being in the image of God as is her husband and thus equal to him, has the God-given responsibility to respect her husband and to serve as his helper in managing the household and nurturing the next generation.

www.patheos.com...


originally it was obedience that was demanded. had been for a long time, since one of the old kings of isreal had a fit that his queen didn't drop everything she was doing to come and dance for his friends. he was so ticked off he banished her and commanded that all wives in his kingdom would obey their husbands!! probably goes further than that. what we have now is the watered down version, what Christ said and described was just laying out a path that would enable the people to evolve to the point where they could accept that watered down version. and of course, like everything religious, the final interpretation is dependent on what the individual wants to believe.

I searched for a video, or an article for what I remember seeing when the southern baptist convention came out with that quote I gave above but I couldn't find any and gave up. but a preacher was asked just what that meant and his answer did go something like well, it means that if the husband doesn't want her to work, then she shouldn't be working!!

I left a church in texas when I heard the women talking about how "if her husband doesn't want her to come to church, then maybe she shouldn't come to church".. funny thing, every church I have went to since then for some reason seems to start their sermon with the same spiel...
wives submit to your own husbands, wives obey your husband... ya eventually they get to the other part of the spiel, men love your wife as yourself.. but, well, we are human, our love is not perfect, we are not perfect. we can be greedy, selfish, controlling, sometimes to the point of self destruction. to think that a women would silently, obediently, follow her husband to that destruction having faith that somehow god will divert his course, well I found out that that just does not work!! it would be better if they just would say men love your wives, wives, love your husbands, act in love in all things. at least then women would feel free to intervene a little more strongly when they see their husband heading off a cliff!

but, like I said, we have to look honestly at what was... and what was, less than a century ago, was that the legal system, the economic system, and the religious system were set up in such a way as to enforce that idea that husbands would be the king of his castle so to speak, that his word was the final say, period and gave women little recourse but to just accept that. sure some husbands loved their wives and treated them better than they did themselves, but others did not and were more than free to do so! heck, love wasn't even considered an important part to a marriage, that idea started to grow around the 1800's. so, obviously, that "love your wives" bit in the bible was kind of overlooked until recently!!



posted on Jan, 7 2019 @ 09:45 AM
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a reply to: Raggedyman

actually, the women were probably a little disruptive in more than one place. especially if they came out of the jewish religion where women weren't expected to go to the synagogue and those who did were confined to the back of it, far away from hearing distance of anything that was said. so they would just resort to chatting and gossiping with each other. each man was responsible to bringing the wisdom of the torah to their families, after they had learned it within the synagogue themselves.
so, well, the church setting was a new experience for them, they were able to hear what was being said, but used to having their husband's guiding them. so they were asking them in church to explain..



posted on Jan, 7 2019 @ 10:35 AM
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Its ironic, because its shows like this that create feminists and man haters. The only view they present is their own bigoted view.



posted on Jan, 7 2019 @ 01:49 PM
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a reply to: darkbake

My wife makes more than me. The problem is people wanting money to be mine, not ours. That was a big reason women wanted to work in the first place, men held money over their heads.
edit on 7-1-2019 by OccamsRazor04 because: (no reason given)



posted on Jan, 7 2019 @ 01:57 PM
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a reply to: Sillyolme

Don't make me embarrass your silly attempt to take the Bible out of context. If you really feel the need to I will, let me know if you need biblical context.



posted on Jan, 7 2019 @ 03:56 PM
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a reply to: OccamsRazor04




let me know if you need biblical context.


oh please do!! put it in the context that will be helpful to the sincere christian wife who's husband has twisted the "context" of those passages in a similar way as to what Sillyolme seems to be implying. keep in mind that christians have been fed to lions for refusing to deny christ and those christians are held in high esteem by the church. if those christians went willingly to their death in obedience, should the women willingly walk to her husband when she knows that he is about to beat the crap out of her in obedience also? I know what the bible says about husband's loving wives but that doesn't negate the fact that keeps the wife in a servant/master relations where obedience is stressed over love. wives aren't required to love their husbands, they are required to obey, honor, serve them!

the strangest thing I ever ran across was a group of fine christian women on a thread in the yahoo message boards who were trying to explain to them how they should be obedient to their husbands.... then one day, one of them slipped up... oops!! it's late, hubby will be home and hubby don't want me on these message boards!! well... my question back to her was... well if you know he doesn't want you on the message boards, why are you here?? isn't that a form of disobedience in and of itself? just talking the talk but not walking the walk while trying to counsel abused women how they should be walking the walk when the stakes are so much greater!!!



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