Tell me something about yourself no one would believe

I once shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die .

a reply to: JAGStorm

i has a sense of humour

originally posted by: Allaroundyou
a reply to: JAGStorm

Oh and one time I tried to tackle a cop......after running from him for no reason at all.
Long story short....don’t do that.

I got hit by a cop's extendable baton a few years ago, managed to wrestle it off him and throw it over a wall. He shat himself then when it was just two guys with fists...I complied when his backup arrived lol

a reply to: JAGStorm

That's a tough one. I'm afraid to even start.

This is a true story...

I had a guy jab a loaded .38 caliber revolver in my my kidney area from behind one night...not once, but three times. Without looking, I pushed him away twice before I turned around the 3rd time to see what he was sticking me in the back with. I had a .357 mag in my car about 6 feet away, but it was of no use when he had the pistol now pointed directly at the center of my chest at point blank range. He was very (very) drunk, and pulled the hammer back and told me to get out of the way! In the most bizarre moment of my life, I told him to... "just hold on a minute, because I'm waiting on my change from the clerk"!!!! I then, for some unknown reason, turned around with my back to him and took my change from the clerk and walked over to my car and got in like nothing had happned. My girlfriend at the time was waiting in my car.

I put my car in gear and drove about 40 feet and just about crashed into the side of the building when I realized what had just happened!!! My GF had to grab the steering wheel to swerve and screamed to hit the brakes...I was just paralyzed, and in shock.

It's an absolute miracle that guy didn't shoot me that night (either intentionally or by accident)!! He actually wound up shooting himself by accident a couple minutes later. He fired a shot at the clerk and missed, the shot hit a steel post filled with concrete in the parking lot and ricocheted back and hit him in the abdomen just below the belt buckle. He survived, and was convicted of Armed Robbery and sentenced to prison.

I can still remember thinking about my .357 under the seat in my car when I turned around to face the guy with the pistol, so I somehow understood what was happening in that moment, but my actions that night I cannot explain. I wasn't mad. There was no fear at all. It was just like any other moment on any other day. My GF freaked out so bad over the incident it took her several months recover.

True story too.

originally posted by: jtrenthacker
In my college years, I could dunk a basketball on a regulation 10 foot goal. I'm 5'8" and white.

What does being white have to do with it?

When I was 10 I was shot in the forehead about an inch over my eyes with a .22 lr bullet. Who this happened is the height of stupidity. Me and my buddies decided this half burned down house would be a cool place to have bb gun wars and we would take turns defending the house while one group assaulted I was packing a couple of co2 powered pistols while every one else had Grossman 760 or daisy 880 f2f rifles well one of the guys I shot in the house by drawing them out by screaming my nuts my nuts I got hit in the well you know so one of the guys upstairs in house stepped into line of sight I shot him twice and he dropped his rifle.he left so I was defending the house with my other buddy and while I was upstairs behind a wall I was using for cover I got hit in forehead with what I thought was a bb I was mad as he'll because we said no head shots and when I stepped out the house everyone sdtopped shorting and came out and said oh my god Joe you killed to when Joe came out I grabbed him and kicked his butt took 3 guys to pull me off and tell me w hast they were going on about . I had blood running down my face. Joe had went home mad and got his brothers marlin 22 caliber rifle and shot me with it. They extracted the bullet with a pen knife from my forehead meat and bandaged me up with a sweatsock and made me swear under threat of group beating not to rat out joe.

I'm a black belt in tae kwon do. I'm an army combat veteran. But I'm the most passive m-f'er on the planet with like 30 cats. I got my cats tattooed on myself. I love life, family, animals, etc. Have a good one!

a reply to: Carcharadon

White men can't jump!

Everyone knows that!

a reply to: IAMTAT

I personally don't dispose of them, that duty belongs to the Classis division. I belong to the Liber division, it is my job to provide the Miles division with information. The Miles division is the group that actually goes out and hunts them down and captures them.

Honestly, my job isn't as interesting as it sounds. I pour over thousands of pages of local news articles in order to find hints of where demons might be active. For instance, if I read something about high infant mortality rates in a small African village where previously there were no problems with infant mortality rates, it's my job to go out and talk to the people there to see if I can find anything out.

Mostly, though, in an instance like that it's my job to rule everything out that wouldn't be a demon like water quality, whether the diets of the people there are healthy, if there is a disease outbreak like Malaria, etc. I typically travel under the guise of a member of the Red Cross in order to do this.

99 times out of 100 things turn out to have perfectly logical, physical reasons.

a reply to: Bootifool

I'd love to hear more about your past lives.
Could you share some more details?

originally posted by: LongArmLugh
a reply to: IAMTAT

I personally don't dispose of them, that duty belongs to the Classis division. I belong to the Liber division, it is my job to provide the Miles division with information. The Miles division is the group that actually goes out and hunts them down and captures them.

Honestly, my job isn't as interesting as it sounds. I pour over thousands of pages of local news articles in order to find hints of where demons might be active. For instance, if I read something about high infant mortality rates in a small African village where previously there were no problems with infant mortality rates, it's my job to go out and talk to the people there to see if I can find anything out.

Mostly, though, in an instance like that it's my job to rule everything out that wouldn't be a demon like water quality, whether the diets of the people there are healthy, if there is a disease outbreak like Malaria, etc. I typically travel under the guise of a member of the Red Cross in order to do this.

99 times out of 100 things turn out to have perfectly logical, physical reasons.

Thanks for the reply, LongArmLugh.
So, what/whom was the worst demon you were able to identify and have others track down and dispose of?

a reply to: IAMTAT

While I cannot provide dates, locations, events or timeframes, I can tell you a few details.

In my own opinion, as it is up to me and others of the Liber division to classify these entities in order of threat level, the most dangerous one I have ever classified as well as personally encountered was in the Libyan Desert. A group of amateur archaeologists were there attempting to recover valuable trinitite known as Libyan Glass. Locals call them Lightning Stones, and attribute supernatural properties to the items in question. The more karats, the higher the price on the international market. All of them were found dead of burns, the skin of their flesh had turned a shade of orange. (They were Caucasian.) Most interesting, though, was the condition of the internal organs. They seemed to have been exposed to a high degree of heat, and there were particles of silica (sand) found embedded inside the organs that had not been exposed to the elements. The presence of silica inside the viscera and the rupturing of the spleen and kidneys as well as the boiling of the bladder on the subjects was enough to warrant my curiosity.

The Libyan Desert is approximately 1,100 km from east to west, and 1,000 km from north to south, so it was quite a large area to cover. (As well as am not divulging a particular location) I encountered a few locals from whom they had purchased supplies and got an approximate reading on the coordinates of their search area.

Subsequently, I went to those coordinates and found their corpses and performed a field autopsy. Upon relaying that information to my superiors I was told to rendezvous at an airport in the region so that the Miles team could come investigate further. However, as it was a remote location and I had not slept in 56 hours I required sleep and to make camp.

That night an electrical storm that most meteorologists would attribute to heat lightning began. Several vertically oriented rotating columns of wind colloquially named "Dust Devils" began to converge on my location. Lightning strikes became more frequent. I was forced to rapidly dig into a sand dune in order to shelter myself as I deemed the tent I was provisioned inadequate to protect me from the nearby lightning strikes that were grounding in the sand.

I hid buried in the sand, putting my mouth on a portion of PVC piping sticking up out of the sand so that I could breathe and waited until the event had passed. I classify that particular entity as the most dangerous that I have ever personally encountered. My own camp was just a few hundred meters from the corpses of the amateur archaeologists who were attempting to locate the trinitite unique to that area.

The PVC pipe, I had acquired from a water collection unit that absorbs humidity from the air and stores it. I took it as well as the bladder of water and dug my way into the side of the dune, hoping to avoid the lightning. I was successful in my endeavor, and my actions were relayed to the Miles team and are now stored in the Liber division's files as a clever way to avoid that particular type of entity's abilities. I'm quite proud of my ingenuity, as it discovered the presence of several others of that type in the area as well as a means to avoid their detection.

a reply to: LongArmLugh


Wow. Unbelievable story.

Thanks for your awesome replies

a reply to: JAGStorm

I can make a pan of food and when it is done it fits exatly into the serving dish I intended to use.

I mean it fits perfectly so it's just at the right level with no cheating or leaving some in the pan.

I say this and folks disbelieve until they see it for themselves and are blown away.

It's a really low level superhero power that very few possess.

a reply to: nonspecific

I believe you mate, merry crimbo!

I was a male stripper when I was younger

Never called the Oracle mother

a reply to: LongArmLugh

There's a lot of nonsense on ATS, some of it even from me, but seriously I would love to read a lot more from your experiences. It is absolutely fascinating.

Here's one I just remembered. In December 2002 I got to tag along with a well-connected friend to Phil Spector's birthday party. Even got a photo with him. Two months later he shot Lana Clarkson in the face.