posted on Dec, 21 2018 @ 09:25 AM
a reply to: DBCowboy
My own father once told me to kill myself, at a time when I was extremely vulnerable & had been assaulted & abused only minutes earlier. It took me a
very, very long time to even come close to forgiving him. Even now, eighteen years later, despite having a superficially reasonable relationship with
him, the comments & intent behind them still haunt me whenever I have cause to remember.
I never confronted him about the comments following my recovery from the traumatised state I had been in (which persisted for several years before I
began to recover), and to be honest, I don't know if I ever will be able to confront him - just because he will know, now that he sees me standing
tall as a well-rounded man, that what he said was damn-near unforgiveable. If I confront him fully about it, then he will probably withdraw from
contact with me (and by proxy, my wife & sons too) due to the shame & the implicit label which he will recognise exists as a result of having said
something of such gravity, against his own son.
It's a difficult thing to even remember, and I suspect therefore I will have to let it go completely, as one of those things from which no good can
ever arise. Most other episodes of anger & even hate between family members can eventually be forgiven & forgotten, with the possibility that both
parties can heal. Unfortunately, the 'kill yourself' one is not of the same calibre, and so should probably be forgotten, consigned to oblivion
without respite in the light of day, if that makes any sense.