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After a three year battle with cancer, my dad has passed away

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posted on Dec, 18 2018 @ 09:17 AM
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originally posted by: seaswine
One of my best buds, my Dad, died on the morning of the 16th, the same day his father passed 43 years ago.

When first diagnosed in early 2016, he was given a maximum of 6 months. He basically said "well f*** that" and he continued to work his butt off for the landscaping business he and his brother built.

The man was a trooper. I would drop him off to get treatments at lunchtime, then we'd go back to work afterwards. I can only hope to have that sort of work ethic as I age.

Eventually, the cancer caught up with him. It got to the point that my brother and I could not properly care for him. Any time we attempted to move him he was in excruciating pain and we didn't know what to do. The morphine that hospice gave us didn't seem to even touch his pain, and we were administering it liberally.

It got to the point that we had to arrange an ambulance to transport him to the hospital. Two EMT and a police officer showed up. My dad, bullheaded as he is, yelled at the EMT guys in a mumbled and unintelligible voice, however, the message was clear, he didn't want to go to the hospital (who does?).

EMT dude advices one of us to talk to him and explain the situation. I sit on his bed and basically say (best I can, choking back tears) that brother and I can't give him the care he deserves and needs, that I know the hospital sucks, but you'll be more comfortable there. He gave a groan that I intreperted as `ok`.

Then they moved him from his bedroom to downstairs. I'll never forget the screams. It sounded like someone was being tortured while they moved him. The strongest man I've ever known, hearing him cry out in pain like that..... No words.That was the last thing he did consciously , as far as I know.

We got to the hospital 5min after the ambulance and he was totally OUT. Over the next 36 hours family and friends visited. The hospital seemed to have him comfortable on a nice firm bed and medication drip.

His breathing slowly faded early Sunday morning the 16th, which was his goal to make. He's always said death won't be so bad because he'll get to see his dad again. Hopefully they're having an ice cold brew right now in whatever place comes after this life.





Sorry for your loss. It is always tough and you never get over it, but all you can do is move on knowing he is watching over you. Lost my dad unexpectedly (stroke at 54 years old).




posted on Dec, 18 2018 @ 09:26 AM
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Thank you for sharing this with us.

May your father rest in peace and your wounds heal.



posted on Dec, 18 2018 @ 09:36 AM
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a reply to: seaswine

Cancer sure is a bitch.

Lost my mom after fighting colon cancer off and on for ten years. A stroke got her.

Lost my dad to a weird leukemia, his blood wouldn't clot.

I've always wondered how their deaths show up on the lists that everyone puts out.

I figured my mom is on at least 4.

Second hand smoke, 20 years earlier
Colon cancer...
Liver cancer since she had a "spot or two"
Stroke, really the cause of death.

These are the things you think about in the years after there deaths. At least I do....


Anyway, so sorry for your loss. No matter how much time you get it's never enough.



posted on Dec, 18 2018 @ 09:47 AM
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a reply to: seaswine

Sorry for you and your families loss.

He's resting in peace now.



posted on Dec, 18 2018 @ 10:01 AM
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a reply to: seaswine

Cancer sucks!



posted on Dec, 18 2018 @ 12:38 PM
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a reply to: seaswine

His pain is over.

Your pain is an empty dull ache.
You will never forget him but your pain will ease in time.

My condolences.



posted on Dec, 18 2018 @ 01:58 PM
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a reply to: seaswine

I’m sorry for your loss ..My thoughts are with you and your family x



posted on Dec, 18 2018 @ 06:03 PM
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a reply to: seaswine

My heart-felt condolences at this difficult and painful time. I doubt it is much consolation right now but IMHO, you made the right decision to call the ambulance. He passed peacefully and family and friends came to see him.



posted on Dec, 18 2018 @ 07:04 PM
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So sorry for your loss.



posted on Dec, 18 2018 @ 08:48 PM
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a reply to: LightSpeedDriver

I've been asking myself if the ambulance was the right call. I know it was against his wishes as he wanted to die in his own bed, but I couldn't let him suffer the way he was.

Thank you for reinforcing my decision. I think it was the right choice.



posted on Dec, 18 2018 @ 10:27 PM
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a reply to: seaswine

It was the most humane thing to do.

Do not have regrets.

You were there. Both with him and for him.

I have dealt with deaths.

As painless as possible; is the least selfish way you can express your humanity to hospital staff.

Try not to go over the "What it's". You know how bad a state he was in.

The right thing is instinctive when it comes to loved ones undergoing palliative care.

Time to heal now.

Don't be timid in asking for a kind ear. ATS comes together as family in these darkest hours.



posted on Dec, 19 2018 @ 12:43 AM
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I struggle with that too, my dad was hospitalized after having a seizure/stroke/heart attack and was so drugged out it was very hard to distinguish what he wanted. The EMT's literally saved his life on te living room floor that morning.
I hate myself but i just couldnt take him back home to his house with mom and just wait, I stayed with him every evening after work till morning at the hospital. When my mom and sister would show up. Sometimes over night he would wake up but not recognize me and ask me to get him out of there, he would grab my arm and plead, still makes get upset thinking about it, but here he is all these wires and tubes in him what are you supposed to do??? after about 3 weeks he finally was moved to intensive care and two days later had a heart attack and passed at 12:47 am I was the only family member present. I know Ill see him one day and tell him how sorry I was and was just trying to do what was best for the situation. Just couldnt see putting Momma through all of that, cause he still needed help with what little he did drink and eat and going to the bathroom.



posted on Dec, 19 2018 @ 01:07 AM
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Im so sorry to hear this brother, I lost my father 5 years ago to cancer as well, I totally understand where youre coming from, he was my best bud too. We still had a fishing trip to take..........

I look forward catching up withi him and taking that trip on the other side.........

My condolences and love to ya



posted on Dec, 19 2018 @ 01:21 PM
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a reply to: seaswine


Prayers for you and your family.

Please don’t regret anything, you did what was best.

Remember the good times you had together.




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