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Mashed potato-it's so simple!

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posted on Dec, 16 2018 @ 07:08 PM
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Potatoes. Milk. Butter. done. Or is it? there is a few simple tricks, first after putting the spuds through the strainer, return them to the pot on the stove to remove excess water. Secondly if you can't mash the potatoes with a fork, you're doing it wrong, Finally, gradually add the milk and butter, then a pinch of pepper and salt, whisk with a fork, serve with gravy on top. Simple right?

Wrong. Well wrong according to TV chefs.

I find these TV chefs "simple" recipes hilarious so i'd thought i'd do a TV chef "simple" recipe for mashed potato, and for that we need a TV chef-let's call him Forky McDork.



"Hi Forky McDork here, and I am going to show you a very simple recipe for Mashed potatoes, first of all you need potatoes, and the best ones to get are the ones blessed by the archbishop of Canterbury, then we have the milk-now store bought milk is fine but the best by far comes from the blind Peruvian mountain goat, now we come to the butter, for me the only one to use comes from a cow cursed by a Zulu witch doctor-"


Oh god, McDork please stop-awww crap he's still talking



"Now we need to cut the potatoes into cubes that are about one cubic inch-i might have shaved a tenth of an inch but's our secret, now go to your pantry and get your atomic clock and set it to-"


Okay i've had enough of this simplicity. If you follow my simple rules to mash potato you'll be on your way to creating a good mash, and if you are a football fan, add some tobasco and siracha sauce and voila-you have yourself a dip! *dorritos not included* Puree it well enough, add some tumeric, chilli powder and BBQ sauce and you have a dressing for a hotdog!

Who needs TV chefs with these so called "simple" recipes? there are nonna's for that. On next weeks show i'll be replacing Forky McDork, who has been fired after sprinkling Uranium on a puffer fish while trying to cut it with a chainsaw. Next week i'll show you a simple way to make lard, relish and stock at the same time.


edit on 16-12-2018 by Thecakeisalie because: (no reason given)




posted on Dec, 16 2018 @ 07:12 PM
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a reply to: Thecakeisalie

I am the bubba gump of potatoes


LOVE me some potatoes.

I tried this hack a few years ago- reserving some of the leftover (starchy) water to add to the potatoes instead of milk, add butter and a little salt makes really really excellent, fluffy, mashed potatoes.


edit on 16-12-2018 by zosimov because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 16 2018 @ 07:21 PM
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a reply to: Thecakeisalie

some people put evaporated milk in it, I hate that. I love it the way you described, milk butter, salt & pepper!



posted on Dec, 16 2018 @ 07:31 PM
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We got high tech equipment, a potato masher. I actually like it so the lumps just disappear, I would never take an electric beater to potatoes, they can turn to a gluish paste, good for gluing the table cloth together or for mortaring cement blocks together. Many people think you have to whip the hell out of potatoes with a beater, that actually ruins them.

The fluffy and smooth is the only way was a sales campaign created by the beater companies back in the fifties to convince people to believe in something untrue. They wanted to sell more electric mixers. I know a lot of people that believed that and they taught their offspring it was real.



posted on Dec, 16 2018 @ 07:41 PM
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Potatoes.
Butter.
Salt.
Pepper.
Mash/whip with a fork.

Maybe a bit of garlic or other favorite ingredients.
This ain't rocket science.



posted on Dec, 16 2018 @ 07:42 PM
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a reply to: Thecakeisalie

I love mashed tater's !

Potatoes take up the majority of the room in my garden and I grow enough to last us all year.

I grow Yukon golds and banana fingerling's.

Now I hate to sound like a Forky Mcdorky but i specifically grow the fingerlings for mashed potatoes and also to use as roasters in the pan of whatever meat we are cooking.

If you have never had banana fingerling mashed potatoes,do your self a favor and try them! be prepared to add more milk or a dollop of sour cream as they are thiiiiiick...



Respectfully,
~meathead



posted on Dec, 16 2018 @ 07:42 PM
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a reply to: Thecakeisalie

Powdered taters, water, sour cream.

*boom*



posted on Dec, 16 2018 @ 07:47 PM
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a reply to: DBCowboy

Not in this house....

You sir , can take your powdered taters, and shove them somewhere in Gunther where the sun don't shine!



Respectfully,
~meathead



posted on Dec, 16 2018 @ 07:48 PM
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originally posted by: Mike Stivic
a reply to: DBCowboy

Not in this house....

You sir , can take your powdered taters, and shove them somewhere in Gunther where the sun don't shine!



Respectfully,
~meathead


But then I add bacon bits.


*come at me bro*




posted on Dec, 16 2018 @ 07:52 PM
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a reply to: DBCowboy



...wow...

Did you really just pull the bacon card?

Well played sir..

Well played...


I capitulate...

/skulks back to lurk mode...




Respectfully,
~meathead



posted on Dec, 16 2018 @ 07:54 PM
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Goodness...the potato wars have started!

Red potatoes diced with the skin on
drain an let them sit till they quit steaming
Fork 'em adding butter & cream
little bit of white pepper

A little rustic won't kill ya



posted on Dec, 16 2018 @ 07:56 PM
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Try some sour cream in them.
Just back off the milk a bit.



posted on Dec, 16 2018 @ 08:01 PM
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originally posted by: zosimov
a reply to: Thecakeisalie

I am the bubba gump of potatoes


LOVE me some potatoes.

I tried this hack a few years ago- reserving some of the leftover (starchy) water to add to the potatoes instead of milk, add butter and a little salt makes really really excellent, fluffy, mashed potatoes.



Interesting, i'll need to experiment with that. A tiny little dash of vinegar works too, I found that out after too many beers and a near empty jar of picked jalapenos.

Being the bubba gump of potatoes i'm sure you've heard of the Idaho potato , the spinning Peruvian potato, the Dallas cowboys potato...now if you'll excuse me i'm the captain of a shrimp fishing company and I need to jump of this moving vessel to meet my former lieutenant from 'nam that has shown up for no particular reason.



posted on Dec, 16 2018 @ 08:25 PM
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I like lumpy potatoes.




posted on Dec, 16 2018 @ 08:33 PM
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a reply to: Thecakeisalie

I admire the approach of simplicity, and more times than not it makes nastolgic dishes great.

Sometimes you can tweak the technique to have different, yet incredible results.

For instance, there is an upstate New York dish called salt potatoes.

You get baby white potatoes (sometimes I use baby Yukon golds, though it's not traditional) and boil in water with one cup salt to six cups water ratio. The skin prevents the inside from being salty. It changes the texture of the inside though to a velvet smooth finish. I break tradition again by boiling a few cloves of garlic with it....

Afterwards I drain and put back in the same pot with butter for a few minutes on medium low heat. Toss them about a bit and the cloves from earlier pulverize and get distributed through the butter.


Using that method before making mash makes crazy velvety smooth mash.



posted on Dec, 16 2018 @ 09:02 PM
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yup , mash = quite simple

but somehow tesco sellls " ready made mash potato "

it really makes one wonder



posted on Dec, 16 2018 @ 09:23 PM
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I still have my Grand ma’s potato masher, that’s how we do it. I love country fried stake, mashed taters, and a double, triple order of gravy and sweet tea. Now I’m to hungry to go to sleep.



posted on Dec, 16 2018 @ 09:51 PM
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I enjoy potatoes in all forms but they make me choke, never figured out why.



posted on Dec, 16 2018 @ 09:51 PM
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I think I have a new favorite thread. I have some pork chops thawing for dinner tomorrow, now I'm going to have to get some bacon bits and sour cream.



posted on Dec, 16 2018 @ 09:51 PM
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a reply to: Thecakeisalie

Add a small can of sweet corn niblets and you're good





edit on 16-12-2018 by NarcolepticBuddha because: (no reason given)




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