Corporate masturbation

So today I got in trouble at work, like I care, really I don't.
I am a valuable asset where I work, they don't need me but want me, I am replaceable but they would have to train someone up, find some one who gets on with everyone, fit in and generally know the job.
I do all that so it suits them and me, fairly autonomous

A week ago a basket shows up at work, "please donate food and toys for Christmas" in the companies name
Ok, fair enough, I will, just in the spirit of things, I donate outside of work, but whatever I will buy some stuff and drop it into the basket to satisfy some corporate human resources bimbo (yes she is)

But the basket is still empty, it won't be removed till next Friday ...
I am in no hurry, got another week
So the manager comes in today complaining nobody has donated anything and it looks bad for our store, demanding we donate
Forced donations, what?

The manager of the branch drives a brand new Ford fwd ute, and the secretary is on minimum wage as a casual
The owner of the company has a 20 meter boat
And they are forcing us to donate in the companies name


So pretty dissapointed in the whole thing
Anyway, I have a cunning plan to piss in a few pockets over this

Now I am happy to give to charity, prefer to give my money or goods directly, not to a company or HR bimbo who is bored
Thanks for letting me vent

Funny thing I have learned, some people value my time with them over material things

a reply to: Raggedyman

Even through the first paragraph I kept thinking oh man where are going here cause this could make my day!

Still funny though and I believe I have your same work mentality. Zero F’s given from me.

a reply to: Raggedyman

My wife is a credit union manager and every year the whole company collects for riley children's hospital.
Members and employees donate to the cause.
The company then matches the donation.

At Christmas each branch chooses a Christmas family to help.

They make it very clear it's the members and employees doing the collecting and not company.

a reply to: Allaroundyou

Maybe that didn't come out right, love my boss, love the people I work with, I care and do my best
Just please don't demand I donate in the companies name
What pisses me off most is the receptionist on minimum wage, she is being told she has to donate as well, her days are numbered already, it's a Christmas part time job for her

Maybe zero F's given, maybe, just can't admit it

a reply to: Raggedyman

I worked for a HUGE company and we had our charity month. They encouraged everyone to give to United Way but you could also write in your own charity. So I picked a local charity that I personally knew the coordinator. Guess what, they NEVER got the money.
I didn't end up saying anything because I was going out on Medical leave and didn't want to rock the boat with that, but it showed me that it is either going into someone's pocket or back into the business.
It's a scam!

a reply to: Raggedyman

So what's your cunning plan?

a reply to: Bluntone22

Yeah I get that
I have seen where some money that is given in altruistic reasons really goes

People are stupid and selfish even in their giving

As a Christian I see Christians who give trying to buy Gods favour, Christians are so dumb

a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

It involves what looks like stealing but won't be stealing to make a fool of people who think they are charitable
Convoluted but going to make the big (look at me) people look petty

Could be a big fail but at least I will have a laugh applying it

Donate a bunch of MAGA stuff

Would they rather give a trump sweatshirt to someone needs it or throw it away, lol

Donate a decent ammount of cash to the charity of your choice, then slip a xmas card in the basket saying ‘a donation has been made in the companies name to the human fund’ or some such.

That’ll tick’em off bad.

Charity for a charity.
You’ll thank me later.

a reply to: GreenGunther

Should have
Next year

a reply to: Raggedyman


All I say at first was "So today I got in trouble at work" and thought of the title. lol

When you are in the service, like the Army, you WILL donate to United Way via monthly payroll deduction. If you do not, you will find yourself on extra patrols. If you are stationed in some place like Vietnam, which is where my contemporaries served, that is not a good thing. The problem is, it's your supervisors who get dinged if they cannot 'motivate the troops' to give 100%. It's not even all about you. Same exact thing happened when I worked for the telephone company. At the library where I worked for 30 years every year some sucker was designated as United way coordinator and made the pitch to all employees. At least this time there were no negative ramifications if you did not donate.

a reply to: Raggedyman

A company cannot force anyone to donate their rightful money to anything...

I suggest you have a meeting a work for the workers and desire not to donate.. if nobody does it.. there will be no problem for the anyone.

Oh.. and contact the union if any problems comes along

originally posted by: Spacespider
a reply to: Raggedyman

A company cannot force anyone to donate their rightful money to anything...

But they can make your life miserable if you do not. That's a fact. See my story above.

Oh.. and contact the union if any problems comes along

The union (if there is one) is just as likely to be soliciting donations as the company.

a reply to: Raggedyman

I sincerely wish you success in this quest.

originally posted by: DictionaryOfExcuses
a reply to: Raggedyman

I sincerely wish you success in this quest.

Failed dismally

I noted the boss put in the donation box some very special and tasty biscuits at the bottom, so when I was shopping I bought the same

Offered them tasty morsels around to everyone at lunch expecting him to think I stole the donated biscuits out of the box, he either didn't notice or care, though he must have noticed, I was pretty in your face

a reply to: Raggedyman

You never know. It could be a slow burner. It's pretty damn awesome that you tried, anyways!

originally posted by: schuyler

originally posted by: Spacespider
a reply to: Raggedyman

A company cannot force anyone to donate their rightful money to anything...

But they can make your life miserable if you do not. That's a fact. See my story above.

Oh.. and contact the union if any problems comes along

The union (if there is one) is just as likely to be soliciting donations as the company.

Yearh.. but then people will just leave and find new jobs.
And the union in my country "Denmark" is eager to help if a company mistreat a employee.
And the company will not risk that

originally posted by: DictionaryOfExcuses
a reply to: Raggedyman

You never know. It could be a slow burner. It's pretty damn awesome that you tried, anyways!

So I was disappointed my plan went pear shaped and ended up outing my nefarious attempt.
He told me his missus packed all the goodies and he didn’t know there were any biscuits in the bag he donated

Now it just means I have to ramp it up some more, hit harder