Most Holy Sensei Shin,
I'd like to firstly declare that I don't intend to come off as passive-aggressive, aloof, or avoidant in writing an e-mail rather than talking in
person. I think you will believe me when I say that I do not possess the "gift of gab"...I express myself best through composition.
I had a couple of issues in class.
My hands, wrists, and arms are my livelihood right now: serious as death. I don't have a Plan B and I can't fail. Long story. (Actually, I think it's
ludicrous that I am required to learn both hand-to-hand combat AND classical mandolin, but that's clearly not your jurisdiction.)
My point is, I cannot afford to learn to protect myself after the fact. That is a young man's game and in spite of my youthful appearance and good
looks, I'm no spring chicken.
Tonight, something wasn't working right with my pad-holding and my wrist started to hurt when my sparring-partner did his left roundhouse. (I
emphasize this: Neither his more-powerful right roundhouse, nor his knee thrusts, nor his punches, nor his push kicks, were problematic. The wrist
simply wasn't taking the left roundhouse and I am confident my wrap was sufficiently tight.)
My wrist hit a critical point. It is utterly imprudent for me to subject it to unnecessary pain when nothing else seems to be a problem. When I
expressed concern about the pain and said I could not take anymore of the kick, I honestly perceive - admittedly, I am occasionally wrong - that I
received a little pushback from my sparring partner about it. ("Pfft. Why not?"; perhaps a little attitude.)
I can take a hit as hard as anyone alive as long as I know what I'm doing, but I am not skilled yet in the ways of your dojo: it is patently manifest
that I can hardly balance on my own feet. I know it, you know it, and everyone can see it plain as day.
I need to know that I reserve the right to say, at any time, "For now, I need to stop"? Do I?
When it is self-evident to everyone that I am not confident in what I am doing, plus I can observe that I am the object of ridicule when I say "This
hurts in a way that doesn't feel right", and then told, "This ain't paddy cake", it makes me suppose perhaps that I really don't fit in with the
culture of the gym and that I should move on.
(Purely as an aside: on some level, why shouldn't a beginners class resemble paddy cake? Compared to each other person there, I'm flexible as a
crowbar, graceful as a quadriplegic. A true beginner.)
An utter beginner can't hope to do more than one or two basic things, even clumsily: it is not neurologically possible. These sorts of things rely on
thoughtful training of dynamic movements. A nexus of subtle reflexes. That's the truth of it, and we can't beat it. I am under the impression that you
know this well.
I'm doing the best I can, I want to learn, and I honestly do not think I am being a bitch about this. I would not condescend to dictate how your
classes should go. I'll find another way if I have to. What do you think?
In closing, I will reflect upon my difficult interactions with people. It seems like I have to use words as hard as cannonballs to get my point across
and then people think I'm a #ing asshole and it's all for naught.
LOL. That's life, I guess.
I'm sorry for the long email. I hate them too.
edit on 6/12/2018 by DictionaryOfExcuses because: (no reason given)
edit on 6/12/2018 by DictionaryOfExcuses
because: (no reason given)