Flash and the Philosophers Stoned, Pt. VII, Welcome to The Pit of Despair
Quebit and Cage Flannel were in the darkness trying to do the bidding of their master. Quebit had one of his master’s wands. The wand, with the
right spell, would send whomever it touched into the heart of the Philosopher’s Stone. Once inside, it was better than carbonite. The Stone was not
as impressive as the tales made it out. It was dull red and stuck in a gaudy scepter that looked cheaper than the gold leaf pressed onto its
“I don’t think those dumb kids are smart enough to figure it out,” Cage Flannel said, “It is not like in the movies where it is easy to steal
the Declaration of Independence.”
It had taken both of them and a different wand to beat the snot of some old wizard professor to find out where the kids were going. But after figuring
out which building they were interested in, Quebit knew they had to be coming to the Pit of Despair for the Philosopher’s Stone.
’It is almost too easy,’ Quebit told Cage while picking up Master’s wand. ‘They are walking right into a trap and don’t even know
Hermyownknee no longer had fear of the dark except maybe a fear of mountain trolls in the dark. Since she knew the most spells she led Juan and Flash.
Not knowing what else was down there made their progress slow even when creeping around dark, dungeon-like rooms that had not been used in decades.
“But I’m hungry now!” Juan whisper-pled to either who would listen.
“Shhhhh!” and “I told you to take a sandwich…” came out at the same time. Then Night Granger stopped moving. “I’m trying to listen to
anything moving down here so WE DON’T DIE!!” said very sternly but also very quietly stunning the two boys silent. Facing both, having their full
attention, Hermyownknee said, “That is better.”
She paused for effect, then turned and walked off not bothering to see if her companions were following.
They came upon a large room that had more light in it than the others. Not needing to be asked they all came to a stop together. The sounds of a
couple voices were coming from the room. They looked at each other and did a visual Ro Cham Beau with Juan coming out with the short straw. Juan
mothed, “fine,” as they switched positions. Juan, then Hairy, followed by HG, slowly entered the room.
Two men stood at a table with the ugliest scepter they had ever seen. Flash looked back and shrugged, “what is that?” Hermyownknee shrugged back,
“F# if I know” and now it was Hairy’s turn to scowl at her choice of language.
Juan clung to the darkness. He began moving to his right just to see if there was anything else behind that ugly club.
The two men stopped talking and turned to look where Juan had just been.
Faster than they knew it, Quebit whipped out a wand and said, Intrusor Erecti
, while pointing towards his left hand side. Juan had been
crouched down behind a box when he heard the instruction spell. He immediately stood up from his hiding place.
“Well, look at what we have here,” said Quebit to the audience he knew was out there in the shadows. “Where are your friends, hum? Where is
Hairy Porter?” continued Quebit as he approached Juan who could do nothing but stand there stunned in silence.
Hermyownknee knew it was only a matter of seconds before that man said the spell again in their direction. She wove a version of Wandering Light Paths
but with Air instead. She and Hairy found themselves in a cocoon of silence. They decided to move left after Hairy nodded in that direction.
Quebit walked over to where he thought the other kids were hiding while trying his spell again but again with no results. Cage gathered up Juan and
moved him nearer to the table to clear a path for Quebit to probe around the room.
Night Grainger and Hairy were close to the table. They had a whispered argument about what to do. Hairy wanted to fight but they both knew the wand
was powerful. That is when an idea popped into Hairy’s mind. Not wanting to wait or try and explain he took action and stepped out of the WAP
One step, two steps, Hairy started to run towards the table where Juan was standing with the other man. Quebit saw it too, Quod Bart Quod
trap spell, aimed right at Hairy’s back. Cage Flannel also began moving towards The Stone.
There was a flash, followed quickly by another flash. There was a crash as something heavy fell to the floor. There was a sound of shattering
The ricochet from the wand had blown Quebit across the room and into the wall. Hermyownknee had helped and her wand was still pointing at his chest
where he had been standing. Hairy stood there one step from the table. The scepter lay on floor behind the table. Cage Flannel was nowhere to be seen.
Juan was shocked. The three friends looked at each other. Someone chuckled, then laughed, then they were all laughing.
That is how Hungridandone found them.
Hungridandone explained that he found Doubledoor beaten in his cottage. He managed to tell the giant to find the kids in the Pit looking for The Stone
and that it was a trap. His last word before he lost consciousness was a plea, said more with his eyes, “Hurry!”
They were sharing tea at Hungridandone’s place; trying to fit the pieces together.
“So you are saying Lord Boltusain is trying to come back,” said Hungridandone with a rueful statement rather than a question. “That cannot be
Everyone nodded at the prospects of that statement.
“What I don’t understand,” said Juan, “Is I saw the spell hit you, Hairy. Then it just kind of went around you and hit that other guy. How
“I don’t understand that either,” said Hermyownknee.
Hairy took another sip of tea, paused, then tried to explain what he thought happened.
“I think that it all started when I was attacked as a baby in my crib by Lord Boltusain. I think that Doubledoor was trying to tell me some of this
when I would show up for tea. If the atoms in me are other stars with other people with other atoms in them, then when Lord Boltusain’s magic hit
me, some of his atoms became me and my atoms became him. When his wand was used against me it knew that it was actually Lord Boltusain and ignored me.
It hit the other guy and zapped him out of existence,” pondered Hairy. After a bit of silence he added, “I think.”
“Well, you are all safe. That is what matters!” offered Hungridandone so the conversation would not turn back to future fears.
A knock upon the door. Special H went to see who it was and an owl dropped a scroll into his giant hands.
“Who was it?” came two of the three at the same time.
“It’s for you, Hairy,” said the giant as he handed the scroll over.
Hairy unrolled the invitation unsure as always what it means when the Dean specifically asks for you as a summons.
. Flash and the Philosophers Stoned, Pt. VII, Welcome to The Pit of Despair
edit on 3-12-2018 by TEOTWAWKIAIFF because: It is Lation
for "The Bart The"!! lol!