The horror: writing a love poem.

Love ... oh what to write.
I love you like wine and Def Leppard.
True maybe, but perhaps not the first thing to say.

I love you like Charles loved Diana?
Nope, not a good place to start.

I love you like our socialists love money.
I like that.
Isn't it romantic?

I love you
Like a librarian likes the quiet.
I love you
Like Antifa likes a riot.

No, but really think about it.

You are to me what running water is to a town.
I love you in the sense
That MacDonald loves a clown.

Hey if Def Leppard is your thing and she knows it.... then surely that is the best commitment you can make.

Maybe leave out the Charles and Diana bit, not exactly a fairy tale ending.

Good luck!

Oh how I love thee
I must compare you to a flower
Your existence is what makes me be
Your heart gives me power
Or some sh•t like that.

I love you like Dracula loves nights
And I love you like the KKK loves whites.

Clearly I am smitten.

I love you
Like the media loves sensation
I love you
Like Harvey Weinstein liked gender molestation.

I love you
Like North Koreans love their nukes
I love you
Like Amazonians like their flutes.

Mmm ... starting to look at marriage here.

I love you,
Like a hippie loves the tribal
And I love you
Like the missionary
Loves the Bible.

And I need you
Like Paschendale needs a shell
And it would not be your heaven
While another man sits in hell.

Sexual Conqueefador

Toro Toro

Impetus Matador

Bend over

and grab the floor

Am I insane?
I want to make you fly like a jet plane.

Well, there cough.
I said it.
In so many words, but essentially.
I'm blushing.

I know, she's supposed to be the "blushing bride".

Marriage - it's mainly still a heterosexual thing.

But the spin-of is a homosocial extravaganza of note.

You get to go out with all your bros, and everybody gets wasted.

The question is what are they actually celebrating?
Bro, it's more like a funeral.
Last time we're going to see you.

I love you like a possum loves crawling up the ass of a dead horse to stay warm on a cold night.