Smile and your day will be better

Seriously what is wrong with people?

You look at someone feeling down and the only thing you can think about is to say that?

Why don't just ask or tell the person "hey if you're not ok and want to talk i can listen ok?" or whatever

But i feel like most people have some issues with being like this and they are always saying things that don't make any sense

I don't even know but how can someone ask you to smile without knowing what's up with you

Maybe you are on the subway going home because one of your parents died or something, or you lost your job, or you got raped, or i don't know

I was on the way home and took a bus and some stupid lady told a boy next to me that exact phrase "smile and your day will be better", turned to look and the guy looked miserable, maybe he got dumped or failed all exams or lost his pet or who knows, how they do think a stupid so generic sentence can fix anything at all, and why say it? He even looked even more miserable after that, like he had to either tell her to shut up or pretend to not notice or just fake it so she goes away

If you don't have something authentic to say and are going to repeat some dumb meme or pop psychology dumb stuff then why even say something at all? No one asked

a reply to: BoneSay

why did you post a person with blood dripping from smiling lips?
What is this mind game?

originally posted by: AthlonSavage
a reply to: BoneSay

why did you post a person with blood dripping from smiling lips?
What is this mind game?

It's a screen cap from a music video by the Russian band Ic3peak.

a reply to: BoneSay

I have resting unhappy face ; Internally I am generally happy and dislike when people tell me I should smile. I think what is it to you, why should I smile to make you happy? My aura is loving and wishes no ill will on anyone. I can't help that my face doesn't have a natural upturned permanent smile.

Most of the time I feel someone's unhappiness and sometimes will gently ask an opening question just in case the person is in need of a sounding board. Sometimes a person needs to vent and sometimes they just want to keep their satchel of sorrows to themselves.

a reply to: AthlonSavage



Did you ever had to fake a smile while dying inside?

The woman should have told the guy to cheer up because she has really bad gas and is holding it till she gets off the bus.

Five minutes later she lets it all come out and that guy will be the only one laughing.

originally posted by: rickymouse
The woman should have told the guy to cheer up because she has really bad gas and is holding it till she gets off the bus.

Five minutes later she lets it all come out and that guy will be the only one laughing.

LMFAO!

a reply to: BoneSay

If you force yourself to smile it's hard to remain angry, you have to put effort into being unhappy or angry so the the old lady is right...

originally posted by: hopenotfeariswhatweneed
a reply to: BoneSay

If you force yourself to smile it's hard to remain angry, you have to put effort into being unhappy or angry so the the old lady is right...

But he wasn't angry, he was sad, so sad that you could feel it. After i noticed i looked at him and he looked away, like very devastated and then he avoided looking at everyone and got off on next stop

I don't think someone telling you to smile will make things better if you are completely destroyed inside. It's like ordering you to be happy when you have terrible almost suicidal depression and just saying the words won't do anything but to lead you more into that

Or if you have just been told you have terminal cancer and someone tells you to smile and things will be better, are you just going to smile and say "yes for sure!" and be ok? I don't think it works like that at all

Maybe for dumb stuff but not for real issues in life, i still think it would have been better to say something different like Onlyyouknow said

originally posted by: Onlyyouknow
a reply to: BoneSay

I have resting unhappy face ; Internally I am generally happy and dislike when people tell me I should smile. I think what is it to you, why should I smile to make you happy? My aura is loving and wishes no ill will on anyone. I can't help that my face doesn't have a natural upturned permanent smile.

Most of the time I feel someone's unhappiness and sometimes will gently ask an opening question just in case the person is in need of a sounding board. Sometimes a person needs to vent and sometimes they just want to keep their satchel of sorrows to themselves.

Yeah this is how i would do too, but i could not today, things happened in a different way. I don't know why people think that empty generic words are ok, if i want to help i may be able to or not but can ask, right?

Generic words on terrible times is the version of "an apple a day keeps the doctor away" lmao, i guess if i get a brain tumor that will come handy

a reply to: BoneSay

I always ask if someone needs an ear to listen to them.

a reply to: BoneSay

Sometimes people have been through big downers themselves and experience taught them that smiling often worked. They aren't to know the difference between someone in a bland mood and someone super depressed.

I definitely get what you're saying and have bounced through happy times and depressions as well as the standard menu of moods. You should still be careful to remember those people telling others to "smile" are people with emotional lives too. They could have ignored the unhappy person and instead, at least some of them, have made an effort to connect even on a small level.

If you think about it, you're actually judging strangers for reaching out and, in some way, you're showing less empathy than they tried to show others. Some strangers are brash enough to say "smile" when they don't really care at all. The rest imo deserve a bit of a chance.

originally posted by: Kandinsky
a reply to: BoneSay

Sometimes people have been through big downers themselves and experience taught them that smiling often worked. They aren't to know the difference between someone in a bland mood and someone super depressed.

I definitely get what you're saying and have bounced through happy times and depressions as well as the standard menu of moods. You should still be careful to remember those people telling others to "smile" are people with emotional lives too. They could have ignored the unhappy person and instead, at least some of them, have made an effort to connect even on a small level.

If you think about it, you're actually judging strangers for reaching out and, in some way, you're showing less empathy than they tried to show others. Some strangers are brash enough to say "smile" when they don't really care at all. The rest imo deserve a bit of a chance.

I'm just saying that if we don't know we should not just say it like that, i know how i feel and sometimes it is so dark that when someone tells me things like that it gets even darker

i rather be told, "hey what's up are you ok, wanna talk? No? ok be good i'm here if something's wrong" And that even makes me feel a bit better even if i don't talk to the person

The other thing feels like "Hey stop feeling whatever because the world has to be all smiles and you have to follow through with it, now let me see that smile"

Like the cat lady in harry potter that likes to drink lots of tea

I don't know but at least for me all my life that doesn't work, fake smile and all to comply and be left alone? Picture at top describes the feeling and smile i do most of those times and i could see he was doing the same, i have done it lots of times too.

It's not emphaty it is compliance somehow, be what we expect not how you feel, hide it so everything looks bright and beautiful

a reply to: BoneSay

I'm not disagreeing with you I'm simply stating that in essence the lady is right, but yes there are external factors like for example your spouse dying that smiling will not fix.

originally posted by: hopenotfeariswhatweneed
a reply to: BoneSay

I'm not disagreeing with you I'm simply stating that in essence the lady is right, but yes there are external factors like for example your spouse dying that smiling will not fix.

Yeah i'm sorry i'm just a bit upset right now because i keep thinking that maybe i should have said something or do something, i don't even know. What if he went and killed himself but if someone actually talking to him in a more meaningful or understanding way would have changed things around? I'm just upset that it all went down in a stupid way


Have school tomorrow and getting late, i'm sorry i don't try to be conflictive or anything i'm just thinking a lot but now i need to sleep.

Thanks for your replies

a reply to: BoneSay

It's all good go get some rest..

A friend of my Gf recently committed suicide, I didn't know him really well but I can tell you he was a really lovely fellow, highly intelligent and had a big heart. I'm still trying to come to terms with it as these things tend question your own mortality . He was always and I mean always outwardly happy, he would never complain , ever, anything bad he felt he bottled up... I guess I'm trying to say we all deal with this life in different ways, how a person projects themselves is often not how they really feel at their core....

@OP

why do you hate old people?


a reply to: hopenotfeariswhatweneed

If you force yourself to smile it's hard to remain angry, you have to put effort into being unhappy or angry so the the old lady is right...

Correct, it´s an old wisedom.

a reply to: BoneSay

I was reading a story about how when Christopher Reeve was in hospital following his accident, coming to terms with his life changing injuries, Robin Williams burst in pretending to be a Russian proctologists and demanding to examine him. Reeve said that as he was laughing he realised that things were going to be okay.

In my job I have regular contact with the homeless as well as those suffering with severe mental health issues, I feel that although I can't always help, I can at least try not to make it worse. I find it is better to give someone a smile rather than expecting them to give me one first although that is still invariably the outcome.

I'm sure the lady meant well, many would have just looked the other way, she didn't, that may have counted for something.

originally posted by: verschickter
@OP

why do you hate old people?

a reply to: hopenotfeariswhatweneed

If you force yourself to smile it's hard to remain angry, you have to put effort into being unhappy or angry so the the old lady is right...

Correct, it´s an old wisedom.

You terrible wrong, my grand father was 99 when he died, my grand mother 98 one year before him, i loved them and i love the aunts and everyone else from that age i know

Being old and being right are two different things

Just because someone is older doesn't make them wise or respectful. If you were stupid as a young person, you will only be a stupid old person anyway. Nothing will change.

Respect and honor is something you earn not by age but through what you do, did you not learn that before? Age is not matter at all

Assuming someone else's situation because you are older is the old saying of "assumptions are the mother of all f*k ups", and you assume that because you are older you know better lmao

You just can't accept you were wrong on something and hate i said things you don't like, well your dad and probably your grand parent also thought you were wrong, so there

In this case my problem with this behavior to say "smile and your day will be better" is that it is shallow behavior instead of a wise, gentle and empathetic.

Are you ok? Would be an wise and empathetic thing to say to measure what kind of situation it is to see if you can help.

Stomping around like an elephant trying to force smiles from people who might be suffering from shock needing calmness and time to think is not wise.

Some soul are in old bodies but have no awareness at all on how to read a situation. Old body do not equal wise. But there are some old souls in old bodies that are wise.