English bulldog bites off Scottish man’s peanut butter smeared genitals

Why does the source say nothing about the man's alcohol intake?
That's the factor that makes the story comprehensible.

originally posted by: Thecakeisalie
The icing on the cake would've been if the breed of dog was a Scottish terrier.

No, having an English bulldog turns it into a graphic metaphor about the history of Anglo-Scottish relations.

originally posted by: dreamingawake
Sickening animal abuse as it is,

I agree. While none of us know the details behind this, we can imagine what was going on. Bestiality is a crime in the UK, so on top of his humiliation he should also face prosecution.

Cough - sounds like a pet for the Saudi embassies.

Meanwhile, at the Saudi embassy:
a reply to: halfoldman

Why is that pug suddenly as fat as a warthog?

No reason.
Burp.

smooth
or
crunchy?

a reply to: JAGStorm

this tail raises more questions than it answers :

1 - catastrophic [ blood loss ] - given the blood supply to the male external genatalia - i has to wonder - how long the bloke could survive without major treatment . but am loathe to ask the people i know could proballly gie an accurate answer

2 - the destruction of the dog - WTF ?????????? under the assumption that the victim willingly smeared his genitals with peanut butter - and allowed the dog " access " - it should not be put dow - its not the dogs fault he offered it snacks

what did I just read...

On that note, just going to paste a previous post.

Wow! It took 18 guys to murder him?
Must have been a tough cookie.
But mum thinks it probably took two dudes to kill him, and the rest were there to carry out a body part.

OK fellas, line up: You get the right arm. You get the left leg. You get the nose (flip , I never get any seniority around here).

Step aside The Hostel.

Here comes The Embassy!

Step in for a Visa, and leave as mincemeat.

originally posted by: acackohfcc
smooth
or
crunchy?

While I was able to resist laughing at this poor idiot's unfortunate but very predictable mishap I could not help myself when I read your comment it just kind of put the top hat on it.

Evolution at work.

originally posted by: ignorant_ape
a reply to: JAGStorm

this tail raises more questions than it answers :

1 - catastrophic [ blood loss ] - given the blood supply to the male external genatalia - i has to wonder - how long the bloke could survive without major treatment . but am loathe to ask the people i know could proballly gie an accurate answer

2 - the destruction of the dog - WTF ?????????? under the assumption that the victim willingly smeared his genitals with peanut butter - and allowed the dog " access " - it should not be put dow - its not the dogs fault he offered it snacks

Arteries will retract when they are cut and will stop bleeding for a while. Then the guy passed out. That reduces blood pressure and also reduces bleed out. Veins just close up. Some injuries such as crush injuries (from train wheels) will seal the arteries.

originally posted by: DISRAELI
Why does the source say nothing about the man's alcohol intake?
That's the factor that makes the story comprehensible.

Maybe because there was no alcohol involved....

originally posted by: JAGStorm
Maybe because there was no alcohol involved....

Now, you're pulling my leg. "Pull the other one, it's got bells on".
We know that the man was Scottish.
The noise of a loud party had been heard coming from that address, and the event was discovered in the early hours of Sunday morning (October 7th).
The absence of alcohol would defy rational explanation.

originally posted by: JAGStorm

originally posted by: DISRAELI
Why does the source say nothing about the man's alcohol intake?
That's the factor that makes the story comprehensible.

Maybe because there was no alcohol involved....

Ha!

Clearly you've don't know many Scottish lads.

Something like this only happens after a few tinnies.

Ouch with that extreme underbite that can’t be fun, I guess dude really likes jowls.
Awesome name for a bully if I didn’t have the name for my next English already I’d borrow it.

ETA: Just saw the dog was put down and now I’m pissed.😣😤🤬

a reply to: OtherSideOfTheCoin

bollox - this level of idiocy requires a full bottle of buckie - MINIMUM

originally posted by: BigDave-AR
Ouch with that extreme underbite that can’t be fun, I guess dude really likes jowls.
Awesome name for a bully if I didn’t have the name for my next English already I’d borrow it.

ETA: Just saw the dog was put down and now I’m pissed.😣😤🤬

Biggie Biggie Biggie can't you see I like my junk...............ummm nevermind

originally posted by: JAGStorm
outline.com...

A SCOTTISH man has had his peanut-butter smeared genitalia bitten off by an English bulldog. Paramedics were unable to recover them for reattachment.

Secondly, what exactly was that perv trying to do???

Now now, don't be presumptious. He could simply be the victim of a totally natural naked toast making session that went disasterously wrong.........honestly.........