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Friend in Denial

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posted on Feb, 24 2005 @ 11:59 PM
I think my friend is in denial about her relationship with her boy-friend. He is rude, she does everything for him, he doesnt do anything sweet in return. He ignores her and will often watch other girls intently while she is in the room.

When she does something unsatisfactory, he becomes very angry with her.

On the flipside, when she becomes angry with him, he is unwilling to compromise and she actually has to eventually apoligize for becoming mad.
He makes everything out to be her fault. I am also afraid the relationship could become physically abusive.

All that being said, I worry about my friend. Do you guys have any advice on helping her get away from him?


P.S. I have tried to tell her that i think she could to better, but she insists he is an angel and is in denial about how he treats her.(Yes, she has shown signs of denial, she isnt just oblivious.)

posted on Feb, 25 2005 @ 12:04 AM
Put the shoe on the other foot..........................

Go round with some friends - some guys included - and ask them to pay attention to her and see what reaction that gets out of him.

If he does react then remind that it should be him paying her the attention before she finds the new attention more appealing !!

posted on Feb, 25 2005 @ 12:08 AM
He is very controlling. Whenever I try to make plans with her (that arent spontanious) he will complain that they never do anything and will try to get himself invited (even if its a "girls night") or get it cancelled.

When we are talking he will sometimes come up and literally drag her away from me and everyone else. My guess is thats what he would do if i tryed to bring other friends along into the mix.


posted on Feb, 25 2005 @ 12:11 AM
This guy sounds like he needs a good twatting !!
I know some people who know some people.

posted on Feb, 25 2005 @ 08:49 AM
Is it possible that when you tell her she can do better that you're mentioning it in passing? For example, when her bf does something rude and intolerable, then leaves the room, you capitalize on that moment to whisper "This guy's a jerk - what are you doing with him?"

B/c I think that method is really never going to work - She's in that zone where she's in no mood to be made a fool out of, and all that's happening is a little of this :bnghd: and a little of this

Sometimes you just have to get in the middle of things.....Tell, yell, scream into her bf's face that you and her are going somewhere for a nice and quiet walk - stand between them if he tries to grab her (Maybe have an intimidating friend of yours as back up)....Get it across to this numbskull that she's going to go on a walk with you, you'll be back whenever you get back, and leave....Again - someone capable of delivering an ominous glare or two here would help out - hehe

And on this walk, in a private park or undisclosed location, you're going to pull your friend aside and open up to her how you feel - She'll be surprised that you actually gave her a breath of freedom, and when she's alone with someone she really wants to be with, rather than a power-hungry fool, hopefully she'll begin to realize what a horrible choice it was to stick around with him....

Don't make things look like they're her fault - Just point out the obvious and make it mean something to her when you say it....Then, if she decides to leave him, see if she can have a police escort to remove her things from the house - Or a squad of beefy muscle heads would work too....

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