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Adopt A Democrat

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posted on Oct, 31 2018 @ 08:06 PM
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With the midterm elections fast approaching I think it is prudent that those of us on the right get a plan in place to keep the peace in the event the Democrats are annihilated in both the House and Senate races. The Democrats have a long track record of coming unhinged when they don't get what they want.

My plan is that each family that is right leaning adopt a Democrat to help them cope in the event of a major loss. Preferably it will be a Democrat in your own neighborhood, given their propensity to burn down and loot their own community.

I am sure at this point you see the clear logic of this idea, but you are wondering what adopting a Democrat looks like in practice. That's why I am here to help.

First step is to identify the Democrat you want to adopt. They are easy to spot. For example, maybe you have a male neighbor that has a man bun and/or carries a man purse. Or a female neighbor who seems really angry and/or jealous of men, sometimes with a preference for flannel. Maybe there are people in your neighborhood with a Hillary, Bernie, or Obama sticker still attached to their vehicle or even more likely an old librarian or a older hippy couple driving a Subaru and looking nifty in their gray pony tails. You get the idea.

Secondly, reach out to them before the election and start to build a friendship, but by all means never let them know you are a Trump supporter or a Republican. They may attack you.

Third, plan ahead. Buy some ingredients for comfort food or something you know would bring comfort to your neighbor, like an expensive gift.

Fourth, and most importantly, once you are aware that the Democratic party has been decimated in the midterms, take the gift to your neighbor immediately.. before they have time to run get a 5 gallon can of gas and a flare. One important note, make a sign for the gift that has the word FREE on it. They love that word and find it extremely comforting.

Also feel free to tell them that you have stolen the gift from a corporation, or even better, one of those damn one percenters. That will bring them comfort and a sense that someone is already fighting for them so they don't need to exert the effort to fight.

Once at the neighbors, immediately act like you too are devastated by the loss. You don't have to lie, just allude. They are used to groupthink, so all you have to do is start a statement and their leftist brain will finish it. Like make a sad face and look depressed and start a sentence like "If only Hillary..." They will immediately think you mean if only Hillary won, but silently in your own mind you can finish it with something like "would get a sex change so she can be the man she always wanted to be". That way you will avoid vomiting in your own mouth.

Make the whole conversation about feelings, sad, worried feelings, because logic does not register once it hits their brains. It will only confuse them and make them angry and they may get the urge to loot a store or flip a police car over.

Also, don't bring up voting. This could make them agitated once they realize they forgot to vote and in many cases never even registered.

These are precarious times, so I appreciate your vigilance in dealing with this. You must remember that only you can prevent them from burning your house down, and it will be your house, because they won't want to expend the energy it takes to burn something down that's very much further away. We have seen it over and over again. Good luck and help keep the peace!


edit on 31-10-2018 by MRinder because: Spelling

edit on 31-10-2018 by MRinder because: Spelling




posted on Oct, 31 2018 @ 08:09 PM
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Don't be surprised if you do this and "someone" does an upper-decker.



posted on Oct, 31 2018 @ 08:11 PM
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a reply to: MRinder

I look forward to you eating your words.


+4 more 
posted on Oct, 31 2018 @ 08:14 PM
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a reply to: MRinder

This PSA has been very helpful and informative!

Thank you!


Remember leftists, your chance to change things is Wednesday, November 7th. Vote then and be the change!



posted on Oct, 31 2018 @ 08:18 PM
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Before adopting make sure they've had all of their shots immunizations and are house trained.




posted on Oct, 31 2018 @ 08:19 PM
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Do we need to provide water and food or is a padded saferoom enough?

No man buns in my house. Mandatory haircut to let some air reach the brain.


Our german leftist antifa members can detox in my basement if they want.
edit on 31-10-2018 by verschickter because: (no reason given)



posted on Oct, 31 2018 @ 08:20 PM
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This is so clever.



posted on Oct, 31 2018 @ 08:21 PM
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originally posted by: ausername
Before adopting make sure they've had all of their shots immunizations and are house trained.



I was going to say, if San Fransisco is any indication, perhaps you would need to put a Democrat run out in the back yard.

I mean, put coloring books and a stuffed animal in there too... let's not be cruel!

To the OP.... thank you for the lolz!!



posted on Oct, 31 2018 @ 08:21 PM
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a reply to: 3NL1GHT3N3D1

I´m glad you see it like that, too.



posted on Oct, 31 2018 @ 08:22 PM
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a reply to: Swills

That was a tongue-in-cheek post and pretty funny.

One of the most tiresome things I’ve run into in the last two years .

Is explaining jokes to Democrats .

I don’t believe I will adopt any Democrat after the midterms.

I’m sure I could help more by being a humor tutor .



posted on Oct, 31 2018 @ 08:23 PM
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a reply to: Lumenari
That´s not the way. They need to go cold turkey. Conforming them with stuffed unicorns would be counter productive IMHO.



posted on Oct, 31 2018 @ 08:23 PM
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originally posted by: Swills
a reply to: MRinder

I look forward to you eating your words.


If you had the capacity to look forward then you could see what is coming.

Spoiler alert.... you are going to be sad.




posted on Oct, 31 2018 @ 08:23 PM
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a reply to: Lumenari

Let them go into there safe rooms. Then give them a coloring book and only one crayon. Make sure it’s a red one .



posted on Oct, 31 2018 @ 08:24 PM
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a reply to: MRinder

Very good tips, but I will take my chances when they run amok.
I don’t patronize any people that belong to any cults.
edit on 31-10-2018 by RazorV66 because: (no reason given)



posted on Oct, 31 2018 @ 08:25 PM
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There's actually a local nonprofit in my area that's hosting a few election parties.

They've specifically said they want to offer "a safe space for Democrats to view election results".

They are going to have balloons, candy, cry rooms and have people on hand to offer free hugs and other psychological support.



posted on Oct, 31 2018 @ 08:26 PM
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originally posted by: ausername
Before adopting make sure they've had all of their shots immunizations and are house trained.



Great point and this should be added to the plan. Note: Everyone buy a pooper scooper or two in case they start crapping on the sidewalks. It's important to get the extra large ones, because I have heard Democrats are full of crap.
edit on 31-10-2018 by MRinder because: Spelling



posted on Oct, 31 2018 @ 08:29 PM
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This thread belongs in the joke section....


but only because of the amount of heartly laughts I already got from the responses. Schadenfreude, Schadenfreude.
And Kopfkino about the cringy mental breakdowns.

Google those words if you don´t know them, there is no translation for it.



posted on Oct, 31 2018 @ 08:32 PM
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Glad to hear that there are others planning ahead. It's not just for the safety of the right but out of concern for the left.

Sometimes they get so worked up they injure or kill each other mid riot or they get into a death match over some televisions they are looting.
edit on 31-10-2018 by MRinder because: Spelling



posted on Oct, 31 2018 @ 08:33 PM
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a reply to: MisterSpock
Please tell me you go there with a hidden camera and upload it on YT. When the results are clear, rip appart your blue tshirt wearing a red one, shout "GOTCHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...." and pull two air powered stadion fanfares out running into the saferoom.

But have an exit strategy. Hihihi.


edit on 31-10-2018 by verschickter because: (no reason given)



posted on Oct, 31 2018 @ 08:33 PM
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originally posted by: verschickter
Do we need to provide water and food or is a padded saferoom enough?

No man buns in my house. Mandatory haircut to let some air reach the brain.


Our german leftist antifa members can detox in my basement if they want.


I will pledge 10 cans of Spam so they can feed their children.

💥🎃💥







 
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