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Throwing My Hat in the Ring...for the SENATE!

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posted on Oct, 10 2018 @ 07:08 AM
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Well, you heard it here 1st folks!!

I am officially running for the Senate of the United States.

I have no political experience (but what the hell does that matter?). I have an absolutely bulletproof 5 point platform which all but guarantees my election. My principle points are as follows:

If elected I will promise...

On Global Warming - A car with only two wheels which is powered by the driver so it requires no fuel and creates no pollution. (Yeah, I know the bicycle has already been invented, but my idea is different!)

On the Military - The development of a personal submarine which has no exoskeleton and no engine, and where breathing air is supplied through a small curved tube held in the submariner’s mouth. Estimated costs for this development, and that of the two wheeled car, are well within 2 trillion dollars, a bargain by today’s standards!

On the Environment - If elected, I will appropriate billions of dollars toward the research and development of dehydrated clean water. This will give people around the world access to clean water and virtually eliminate transportation costs. All you have to do is add water and, voila!, there you go!

On the Economy - There is not enough money, and much of what is out there is pretty crummy, so if elected I will make sure every home has their own printing press where they can just make their own money when they need it.

On World Hunger - My 5th and final point if elected, I will solve world hunger. I have assurances from McDonald’s, Tim Horton’s and Long John Silver’s that they will honor a “Buy 2, Get 1 Free” policy (for a limited time, restrictions apply).

Thank you, and God Bless America!
edit on 10/10/2018 by Flyingclaydisk because: (no reason given)




posted on Oct, 10 2018 @ 07:13 AM
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a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

You're a friggin genius! Everyone get out and vote for the FCD!
edit on 10-10-2018 by Wide-Eyes because: (no reason given)


+10 more 
posted on Oct, 10 2018 @ 07:15 AM
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a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

BREAKING NEWS!!! Democrats are accusing flying clay disc of unmentionable crimes in forgotten places, at some point in the last 20 years.



posted on Oct, 10 2018 @ 07:16 AM
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a reply to: Woodcarver

***GASP!***



posted on Oct, 10 2018 @ 07:17 AM
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a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

Be careful with democrats. They'll check if you were naughty in college.



posted on Oct, 10 2018 @ 07:24 AM
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originally posted by: Woodcarver
a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

BREAKING NEWS!!! Democrats are accusing flying clay disc of unmentionable crimes in forgotten places, at some point in the last 20 years.


Following the lack of emotion from the FCD, Democrats declare the FCD unfit for office.



posted on Oct, 10 2018 @ 07:25 AM
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why mess around with the Senate, go for President, dream big...



posted on Oct, 10 2018 @ 07:26 AM
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a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

So, does this make you a sexual predator?

TheRedneck



posted on Oct, 10 2018 @ 07:26 AM
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a reply to: Wide-Eyes



2nd.




posted on Oct, 10 2018 @ 07:27 AM
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a reply to: TheRedneck

Uhhhh...the ferret was NOT harmed in any way!



posted on Oct, 10 2018 @ 07:28 AM
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a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

Does the 2 wheel car operate like the cars in the Flintstones, and does it have a toilet lid built into the seat like the Lazyboy chairs in Idiocracy?

I can be your Minister of DePropaganda.

We can do you up like Dr. Steel:



posted on Oct, 10 2018 @ 07:29 AM
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a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

Was it a male or a female ferret?

TheRedneck



posted on Oct, 10 2018 @ 07:30 AM
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originally posted by: TheRedneck

Was it a male or a female ferret?


This thread isnt about your SEXISM. Its about his super serious bid for the Senate.



posted on Oct, 10 2018 @ 07:32 AM
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a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

Amended.



posted on Oct, 10 2018 @ 07:33 AM
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a reply to: IgnoranceIsntBlisss

Hey, it matters! We have to know which sexual offenders list he has to go on before we get too serious about this.

We also need to know if the ferret was considered a minor at the time.

TheRedneck



posted on Oct, 10 2018 @ 07:38 AM
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I do hope for your sake that you did not drink lots of beer in your youth.



posted on Oct, 10 2018 @ 07:40 AM
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a reply to: oldcarpy

Or asked any chicks out on a date. That's RAPE, especially if you're a white dude thats gross!
edit on 10-10-2018 by IgnoranceIsntBlisss because: (no reason given)



posted on Oct, 10 2018 @ 07:41 AM
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a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

What's your policy on the vital need for floating skateboards like the one they had on Back to the Future II?



posted on Oct, 10 2018 @ 07:41 AM
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a reply to: IgnoranceIsntBlisss


Indeed. And what if he tried to kiss a chick on a date after having consumed beers? It doesn't bear thinking about.



posted on Oct, 10 2018 @ 07:45 AM
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a reply to: oldcarpy

If she had a couple beers and you tried to give her a kiss on the cheek then that's this whole other category, like the nuthouse orderly in Terminator 2 whom strapped Linda Hamilton to the bed while comatose and licked her face. No doubt, because if youre a male then that means you have institutional power backing you you're born into the Patriarchy, so inherently she'd have to freeze up like a deer caught in headlights and just endure your sexual assault.



edit on 10-10-2018 by IgnoranceIsntBlisss because: (no reason given)



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