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Don't microwave urine samples, Florida convenience store owner warns customers

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posted on Oct, 6 2018 @ 10:06 AM
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What the hell?





A Florida gas station owner has placed a sign in her store, asking customers not to warm their urine samples in the microwave -- specifying that the oven is only for warming food




Owner Parul Patel said she’s become “sick and tired” of people walking into her BP gas station and On the Fly convenience store in Jacksonville to warm their containers of urine.


Idiocracy!

Thank god I don't eat gas station food.
edit on 6-10-2018 by neo96 because: (no reason given)




posted on Oct, 6 2018 @ 10:08 AM
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a reply to: neo96
Got a lot of junkies on probation trying to beat the random drug tests lol. I am certain most of them failed.
I will bet you anything there is a department of corrections probation office a few blocks away.
edit on 10-6-2018 by worldstarcountry because: (no reason given)



posted on Oct, 6 2018 @ 10:17 AM
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I actually worked witha guy in Florida that did this and yes it was for probation. He said he had it in a Ziploc baggie and left it in to long. The bag exploded and the urine went everywhere.

After that I decided that if I chose any of the cuisine from 7-Eleven. Instead of warming it in the microwave I would get to the job site roll up the windows and leave it on the dashboard. It’s piping hot after an hour or so.
edit on 6-10-2018 by Fallingdown because: (no reason given)



posted on Oct, 6 2018 @ 10:22 AM
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a reply to: neo96

PRO TIP!


The secret is to microwave your urine while it is still in your bladder.

You do this by wearing magnets in your pants.




posted on Oct, 6 2018 @ 10:25 AM
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when your on probation they watch you pee



posted on Oct, 6 2018 @ 10:27 AM
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That gas station owner sounds pissed!



posted on Oct, 6 2018 @ 10:29 AM
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a reply to: DBCowboy

But what if I want to have kids some day?




posted on Oct, 6 2018 @ 10:30 AM
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a reply to: markovian
If it is the DOC yes for the most part. It depends on the agency and officer in charge though. Some of them have no interest in seeing a hulking piece of meat do its thing even if that is part of the job. Some idiots are doing it for the first time and realize too late their stupid little bag trick will not work. Hence why I said most would fail.

However, it is also possible there is a screening lab that are used by various employers nearby as well. Those privately owned labs have no interest in staring in awe at the snakes doing their business. It will instill envy and jealous rage


I think the ladies have the advantage though. Pretty sure they always get to do it privately, DOC or not.



posted on Oct, 6 2018 @ 10:32 AM
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a reply to: neo96

You've gotta love these urban MacGuyvers, in all of their wisdom they fail to realize that if they hadn't pawned their microwave for drug money they could've nuked their pee at home.

I love idiots, they are like the three stooges but in real life *woop woop woop.*



posted on Oct, 6 2018 @ 10:34 AM
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a reply to: neo96

Coincidentally, I read a headline today about clean urine samples selling for good money in America's opioid crisis. I thought they were taking the piss and didn't read it.


...now it makes more sense. Stupid sense, but still sense lol. They must have skipped school or they'd know urine is body temperature.



posted on Oct, 6 2018 @ 10:50 AM
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a reply to: Kandinsky
Some people just keep the piss in a condom under their nutsack. It keeps it warm. They poke a small hole with tape over it.

I mean, I have heard and seen all kinds of tricks my idiot friends had tried in my twenties and late teens. One guy insists he could pass by drinking small amounts of bleach. He was already cracked out though, Im guessing a little bit of bleach was not going to harm him any.

Man, I would be surprised if he is still alive today. Lost track of him two years ago.



posted on Oct, 6 2018 @ 10:53 AM
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a reply to: neo96

Hand/foot warmers.

Smh rookies. Or better yet, stay clean. No worries.



posted on Oct, 6 2018 @ 10:59 AM
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Our society is going down hill like a snow ball toward hell.

Technology has gotten us to the point where people are microwaving pee. Hoorah.



posted on Oct, 6 2018 @ 11:06 AM
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a reply to: roadgravel
I promise you this has been happening since at least microwaves and drug tests existed in tandem. It is a method reserved for only the truly most ignorant desperate junkies though.

Condom under the nutsack has been the most successful method based on testimony from people that did it first hand. At least from those who I used to associate with.

Has anybody heard other methods?? Not for beating the test, but for hiding the fake or real clean testing piss? This sure would be a fun opportunity to present them lol.



posted on Oct, 6 2018 @ 11:11 AM
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What foolishness is this?

When the NCAA came to random test, we had to produce our samples onsite. No one watched us, but we couldn't just appear with a sample either. We had to take in an empty cup and come back out with a full sample cup.

And sometimes, they'd ask us to produce a second sample. So we had to wait onsite until we could.
edit on 6-10-2018 by ketsuko because: (no reason given)



posted on Oct, 6 2018 @ 11:12 AM
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a reply to: neo96

Ok. Best method for beating witnessed piss tests. Obtain drug free piss, and a powder free medical glove. Tie off all the fingers except the longest. Put medium sized hole on the tip of that one. Tie that one in a slip knot. Add clean urine, and knot cuff end.

Wear whitey tighty briefs. Nestle glove into them, against your body, to keep sample body temp...and lodge the slipknot under the leg hole on the opposite side of the observer. ( scope the place ahead of time if possible. The observer will be on the door side.)

Using your finger and thumb, around your junk, grab the slipknot and pull it out....concealed behind said junk, from the observer. Put head of junk into cup..making sure to give clear view to observer. Also put end of finger into it. Act a little...wiggle and groan...fill container very full...it's ok to spill a little and hand it directly to them. Let rest of piss out into toilet...and actually some of your own. Stopping after cup is full, would be suspicious.

Tuck your junk and thank them for not making it weird. (That is important)

You're welcome.



posted on Oct, 6 2018 @ 11:22 AM
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Well at least it isn't poo... people are weird.



posted on Oct, 6 2018 @ 11:33 AM
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Just convert the gas station into a crack house.

Problem solved.



posted on Oct, 6 2018 @ 11:54 AM
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a reply to: worldstarcountry

yea aquarium stick on thermometer and a travel size shampoo bottle keep it above 90f under 100f not really hard with the thermometer


pre employment drug test are pointless due to this

i dont really see a need for them if you couldent figure out someone is activly doing hard drugs in 15 mins of talking to them they can pass a drug test



posted on Oct, 6 2018 @ 11:58 AM
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It is called "fetish urine". It is completely synthetic and it is what they use to calibrate the actual drug test machines. 3 ounces of if costs about 30 bucks and you warm it in the microwave between 10-15 seconds to reach the 98 degree mark.

Beats all pre employment drug screens so you do not have to worry about letting the man impede your personal life outside of work.



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