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Peeing!!! in My Own Pool: The Problem of Tibetanism

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posted on Dec, 7 2018 @ 02:59 PM
The Nun - Part 3a (the present)

Last night we buried our cat. I say "we" but, as usual, I hovered around ineffectually, trying to summon up some kind of appropriate emotional response (compassion?) to the distress of other people.

Graveyard humor cropped up, as it usually does with me. When I noticed that the mourners were smiling about something and seemed to be enjoying a lighter moment, I contributed some whimsical musings about the real facts of ancient burials, you know the ones I mean, where some dignitary from Siberia is buried along with a couple of his horses, the family pets and one or two servants.

I lightly wondered if these grave sites were actually animal burials, and if the human occupants had been dispatched along with the deceased animal, like servants often were in ancient times. The nun was a servant of our cat, for sure. I suggested that if we were doing this thing correctly she ought to be going into the hole with the cat. She took it well. Smiled, and passed on to other things.

I also suggested that we grab one of the neighborhood dogs for a sacrifice, to be thrown into the hole with the cat. That got a chuckle from the cat's actual owner, the ex girlfriend of the nun's son. He was doing the digging. He did a good job. He's a very nice young man. He grew up in the center, which was a great advantage to him, and he turned out very well. His mother did a great job with him and taught me a lot about being a parent.

She was his servant too, eventually, when she realized the connection between "mother's allowance" and him. She helped him every day with his home work, all the way through school, and through university.

A wonderful couple, who were, eventually, victims of our political personalities in the center, used to do his paper route for him, when he couldn't, for whatever reason.

There was no hard insistence on "responsibility" in his life. No requirement to do anything but look after his own interests, but despite that lack of "discipline", he still turned out great. He could be counted upon to help out at the center, even after he moved into his own place.

The only time we really had to insist on something with him was when he started getting physically violent with his girlfriend, a nice young schoolmate from the neighborhood. (I have a theory about this, and the general pattern of his relationships with women. The nun figures prominently in it.) Both the nun and I noted this new trend with concern, and she spoke to him about it. He corrected his behavior. The young couple eventually parted, but are still friendly.

The cat belonged to another girlfriend that he lived at the center with, for a while. He's had a few girlfriends and with one crazy exception, they have all been adorable. He's good looking. He told me once that in his high school he was known as a "himbo".

I chuckled when he told me, because that is how I might have summed him up in one word, if I were a shallow high school student myself. He was refreshingly unconcerned about it. He's always been quite sure of himself and confident. He's never been beaten down and defeated by his parents, as I was by my father, in the name of discipline.

The nun's whole approach with him, extreme latitude, seems to have worked, if the goal is to achieve a confident, self sufficient, courteous, creative, financially independent young man. I think that this kind of approach would only work in the context of a place like our Dharma center, though. There were numerous examples here, of productive, lively, intelligent people for him to emulate and from whom to acquire stimulating interests that were not illegal or debilitating in some way.

After the burial, he and his mother and his ex GF went out to "get drunk" as the nun put it. She drinks. In Tibetanism, there is the notion of "vow holders". Her guru can keep her vow for her if she is not able to do so, until such a time as she becomes strong enough to do it herself. It's very convenient.

I think the idea of vow holders is a Tibetan one, sort of like Tibetan nuns wearing wigs (Buddhist nuns and monks generally shave their heads). The Tibetans think of everything.

I'm not sure if this is still done, but it used to be the practice in Tibet. I know an ex nun from Tibet personally who wore such a wig. It was the done thing.

The nun and our cat were very close. I thought a little bit too close. Cats can be carriers of disease. I was never happy with him climbing up on the kitchen table and that sort of thing. He used to sleep in the nun's bed. She has a chronic cough, which I think may be related to her closeness to the cat. I did broach the subject via an intermediary, but didn't talk to her myself about it. For most of our years of relating, she has resisted being told anything by me and gone as far as she can in her sociopathic maneuvering, to remove me from being an overt influence on her. Covertly, of course, she has always had everyone under close observation, from behind the picket wire and sentry towers of her mind.

In the last couple of years, particularly after my having extricated her from countless roadblocks on the computer, she has softened toward me. I am now seen as useful and pertinent to her life. The fact that I am not clairvoyant, while a good thing on one side, also means that in order to get computer help, which is necessary for her to maintain status with other board members (she's the treasurer), she must actually lower herself to ask me for the help.

There are no scenes. There is no rearing back, from me, in haughty disdain when she makes that kind of request. I'm pleasant. I treat it as routine and unremarkable. I comply with her request, and patiently put her back on her bike, so to speak.

. . . and repeat, and repeat, and repeat. It works. Miraculously, she is getting better, less sociopathic, less likely to view all around her as the enemy.

The cat helped also, particularly after her son moved out. He became the focus of a lot of nurturing from her, and he returned her affection. They adored and doted upon one another.

edit on 7-12-2018 by ipsedixit because: (no reason given)

posted on Dec, 7 2018 @ 03:01 PM
The Nun - Part 3b (the present)

When he became ill (cancer), she lavished care on him. As usual I hovered around ineffectually, occasionally voicing concern and sympathy, and encouragement. Maybe it wasn't ineffectual.

She was having tremendous difficulty getting him to take his pill every second day. I tried to help with that. It was difficult. Even sick cats are amazingly strong and agile, and this guy was a sort of indomitable character anyway.

Rinpoche once referred to me as the "center maker". I used to do a lot of problem solving, fixing and building, when I was younger. I built some Tibetan style appointments for the shrine room.

I came up with the idea of zipping the cat up in a small carry bag, all except for his head sticking out. Using that stratagem, we eventually had pill delivery success. We worked as a team. I knew how much the cat meant to her (and to the center) and pitched in fully.

He was quite a character, very feisty and mischievous. One day, at dog walking hour, I was sitting on our porch. The cat was on our lawn, very near where the side walk to our door met the public walk, on the other side of a hedge.

Someone came along with a young Labrador Retriever, a very nice looking adolescent dog. He saw our cat, who was only a few feet away and made a little lunge, as if to chase the cat, and then stood observing the effect he had made. Our cat didn't budge, but a moment later, he made as if to lunge at the dog. The dog jumped back a couple of feet, agitated, before being dragged away by its owner.

Now he is gone. I don't know if everyone realizes it yet, but he will have to be replaced.

Après lui, le déluge (de souris)

edit on 7-12-2018 by ipsedixit because: (no reason given)

posted on Dec, 10 2018 @ 11:02 PM

originally posted by: InTheLight
a reply to: BEBOG

Of course that is just the dance of all the divines in life and matter form and formless; chasing things around like a leaf... in the earth out of the earth and even without those terms? Empty phenomena always rolls on and off at the same rate.

A Shaman once told me that leaves danced around him in an upward vortex. Dance of all the divines?

Perhaps he was trying to impress you with words or sayings that make him sound more special (compared to others) and worthy of your attention but were actually rather meaningless. Some people are quite efficient at selling themselves or what they have to say or offer.

Science and the Bible Helped Me Find the Meaning of Life: Awake!—2005


My search for the meaning of life took 20 years. Two things helped me find it: science and the Bible. My study of science confirmed that life must have meaning. But the Bible revealed that meaning to me and helped me understand it.

YOU may have heard some people claim that science contradicts the Bible. I have studied both, and I cannot agree with their claim. Perhaps you are interested in knowing why.
The Pursuit of Higher Education

...Finally, I became a doctor of physics at the University of Augsburg in 1993. ...

My Search Takes Me to India

My study of physics gave me a deeper grasp of the natural laws of the universe. I had hoped that science would ultimately reveal to me what life is all about. However, my search for the meaning of life went beyond physics. In 1991, I traveled with a group to India to learn Oriental meditation. What a wonderful experience to see the country and its people firsthand! But I was aghast at the contrast between rich and poor.

Near the city of Pune, for instance, we visited a guru who claimed that cultivating the correct meditation techniques could help someone to become rich. We meditated as a group each morning. The guru also sold medications at high prices. He clearly earned a handsome living; his lifestyle suggested as much. We also saw monks who appeared to be living in poverty, in contrast with the guru. I wondered, ‘Why didn’t meditation also make them rich?’ My trip to India seemed to pose as many questions as it answered.

One of the souvenirs I brought back from India was a meditation bell. I was told that when struck properly, the bell gave off a musical tone that would help me to meditate correctly. Back in Germany I purchased a horoscope drawn up by someone who claimed to be able to foresee my future. But practicing meditation did not reveal to me anything about life. I discovered to my disappointment that a horoscope is just a worthless piece of paper. So my questions about the meaning of life remained.

I Found Answers in the Bible


edit on 10-12-2018 by whereislogic because: (no reason given)

posted on Dec, 11 2018 @ 02:52 AM

originally posted by: ipsedixit
Although I like so many things about Tibetan Buddhism, or Vajrayana Buddhism, as I prefer to call it, this bit of critical comment really needs to be said, and I really regret having to be the one to say it.

What I don't like about Tibetan Buddhism, but have to put up with (really):

Politics. Coercion. Feudal attitudes. Little kings. Vow "holders". Stooges. Using yidams, or the deceased for surveillance. Blessed tulkus. Strategic homosexuality. Thuggish, bullying spirituality. Guru, student and personal pride. The premium put on power. Lies and lies of omission in the spiritual context. Tantric (sexual) spirituality perpetrated on unwilling students. Necromancy. Getting psychically buggered. Black magical psychic assaults. Unrequested psychic surgery. Guru inflicted meditative "experimentation". The purposeful stunting and "bonsaiing" of student brains by means of superior mental power or coerced spirits for political purposes and to prevent students from developing some unique or unusual or personal capability, or to attempt to erase potentially awkward portions of their memory. Machiavellian realpolitik operating at the most absurd inconsequential levels. Tibetanism. Inflicted "social" meditative absorptions. Impertinent yogi clown shows. Psychic nagging. The practice of owning students and hence, being owned. The strategic manipulation of the distinction between relative and ultimate truth. Its nearness to Voodoo (Even the Dalai Lama doesn't like this aspect of it).

Last but not least, the incredible emotional and intellectual distance between the triumphalism of the Tibetan masters and the attitude of the Buddha himself.

The words of the Buddha:

The Blessed One was once living at Kosambi in a wood of simsapa trees. He picked up a few leaves in his hand, and he asked the bhikkhus, ‘How do you conceive this, bhikkhus, which is more, the few leaves that I have picked up in my hand or those on the trees in the wood?

‘The leaves that the Blessed One has picked up in his hand are few, Lord; those in the wood are far more.’

‘So too, bhikkhus, the things that I have known by direct knowledge are more; the things that I have told you are only a few. Why have I not told them? Because they bring no benefit, no advancement in the Holy Life, and because they do not lead to dispassion, to fading, to ceasing, to stilling, to direct knowledge, to enlightenment, to Nibbana. That is why I have not told them. And what have I told you? This is suffering; this is the origin of suffering; this is the cessation of suffering; this is the way leading to the cessation of suffering. That is what I have told you. Why have I told it? Because it brings benefit, and advancement in the Holy Life, and because it leads to dispassion, to fading, to ceasing, to stilling, to direct knowledge, to enlightenment, to Nibbana. So bhikkhus, let your task be this: This is suffering; this is the origin of suffering; this is the cessation of suffering; this is the way leading to the cessation of suffering.’

Samyutta Nikaya, LVI, 31

"He sank beneath your wisdom like a stone." Leonard Cohen, Suzanne.

Maybe it's just me.

One needs to consider the Tibet of today is vastly different of the Tibet that existed before the Chinese went there in 1939.

posted on Dec, 16 2018 @ 12:17 AM
a reply to: Azureblue

It certainly is. There are people working in the field of linguistics who know an awful lot more about that subject than I do. They are studying the state of the culture, particularly what is happening to the language, intensively.

I'm mainly concerned with what I call Tibetanism, which is an aspect of "Tibetan Buddhism" that is hardly acknowledged in the West, let alone understood or appreciated in the broadest sense. It is never spoken of. I don't think that the Tibetans themselves are aware of it, except in some cases. This is a culture turned so inwardly upon itself that it is only now beginning (since the establishment of the Tibetan diaspora) to get some perspective on itself.

I have been under a considerable amount of stress lately, related to what I have been writing here, and also related to a significant amount of discomfort with it felt by friends of mine.

I want to continue the thread and will try to do so.

Earlier in the thread I quoted Milarepa's chief student, Gampopa, from his work, The Jewel Ornament of Liberation, on the purpose of Vajrayana (Tibetan Buddhist) practice, i.e., to create conditions, an absence of confusion, in the mind of the individual such that the "whole of reality" manifests as Nirvana.

Generally speaking the whole of reality is subsumed under the duality of Samsara and Nirvana. Samsara is to be understood in the sense that its ultimate nature is Shunyata, its causal characteristic is bewilderment and its primary characteristic its manifestation as misery. The ultimate nature of Nirvana is Shunyata, its causal characteristic the end and dispersion of all bewilderment and its primary characteristic is liberation from all misery.

The Jewel Ornament of Liberation, Gampopa, trans. Herbert V. Guenther, page 1.

Gampopa also said that Samsara is notorious for being endless.

Vajrayana is like a small Enlightened octopus , self styled "Nirvana", trying to out wrestle and ultimately swallow a much larger octopus, "Samsara".

A question I pose in this thread is, Was that wrestling match between Tibetan Buddhism and Samsara won centuries ago by Samsara and is the result of the match the many tentacled Tibetanism?

I'll leave you with that thought until I can get back to the thread to expand on it.
edit on 16-12-2018 by ipsedixit because: (no reason given)

posted on Dec, 18 2018 @ 02:53 AM
a reply to: ipsedixit

Have you read Tuesday Lobsang Rampa's work?

Perhaps you have and consider it rubbish which is fair enough but I read all 16 of his books back in the 1970s. I regard it a "when the student is ready, the master will appear" moments in my life.

If you haven't you need to know there are thousands of people out there who rubbish him so if you decide to read one or two, of his books to see what you think.

posted on Dec, 19 2018 @ 09:14 AM
a reply to: Azureblue

I have read a little of his stuff, years ago (The Opening of the Third Eye?). Trungpa Rinpoche invited him to visit Boulder Colorado at one point. He declined. I don't think the Tibetans think he really was who he represented himself to be. I don't know enough about his stuff to really comment. I think it falls into the "magic and mystery" category of commentary on Tibetan Buddhism. This style of thing dominated the very early years of the "study" of Tibet.

posted on Dec, 19 2018 @ 09:21 AM
Part 1

I had wanted to show in some detail the process by which our guru had divided and conquered his students, reaping the results of division among them and in some cases helping to aggravate those divisions by his passive aggressive use of the principle of "non discrimination", i.e. giving equal weight to the judgments of irresponsible people and to the very responsible builders of the center, tolerating the presence of two serious sociopaths in the center with the predictable results in disharmony, and putting the center into the hands of people who would do exactly as he wanted while marginalizing people who would not accept an absolute spiritual and practical (as far as center matters went) monarchy into their lives.

Simply stating that this was what had happened in our Dharma center was not my plan for this thread. I felt that it was necessary to show, in as much detail as I could, the process through which these maneuvers had occurred, in order to establish that this account is credible, because, after all, it does fly in the face of almost all received opinion and commentary on Tibetan Buddhism.

I'm beginning to wonder if I will be able to accomplish my original intention. I did say in another post that I have been under a good deal of stress lately. I spent a good portion of last night entreating other meditators to "leave me alone", mentally. This has been going on for a considerable period of time now as I have been attempting to resist "mental coercion" to fall into line and acquiesce to our guru's design for his center's mandala of students, particularly its hierarchy, with his chief stooge at the top.

The stooge is a "yogi" whose conduct when he returned from India and became a presence in the center was completely disruptive and irresponsible. He eventually became a center board member whose behavior only gradually began to be more acceptable. He, like most sociopathic personalities is wonderful and delightful, but only after having achieved his objective. I could never tolerate such a person having any connection to my mental life, but in Tibetanism that is not a matter of choice. It is a matter of coercion and imposition on the mental plane.

Did you ever have a song that you couldn't get out of your head? At first you liked it. It was catchy, and you were caught, but it wouldn't stop playing, but eventually it did stop playing, thankfully. Imagine having to listen to it over and over, ritualistically, until it was hard wired into your brain, and never stopped playing or at least was always easy to call into awareness, by other people.

The goal of ritualistic religious practice, whatever the faith or belief or path, is to produce a similar effect in the mind, so that the mind can be instantly concentrated appropriately in moments of mortal terror.

In Tibetan Buddhism, parts of the brain are partitioned off to be the "domain" of different "yidams".

In "Tibetanism", as opposed, conceptually, to the theoretical idea of Tibetan Buddhism, these yidams in these designated parts of the brain, are actually assigned to different people, students of the guru, in the "mandala".

If a "Tibetanist" guru's chief stooge is assigned an important position in one's brain and appropriate "spirit guards" are introduced to guard access to that position in the brain, then one can no longer gain personal access to an important position in one's own brain and is actively prevented from doing so!

This is a big problem. It is not insurmountable, but it requires a considerable amount of knowledge and experience to overcome it.

It requires "fight". Remember, I mentioned earlier in the thread that Trungpa Rinpoche had told one of his consorts, that Vajrayana was "all "f**k or fight".

The average practitioner of Tibetan Buddhism is not capable of dealing with this problem, and may not even be aware of it, but by taking empowerments they do expose themselves to the eventual takeover of their mental agenda through coercion.

As an aside, my own guru, as a matter of general principle connected to his great sense of personal responsibility was extremely reluctant to give empowerments. Trungpa Rinpoche, despite his reputation as a sex maniac and alcoholic, was very cautious about empowerments. He said, or wrote one time, words to the effect that giving them inappropriately was to "take unfair advantage" of another person.

Vajrayana practitioners don't generally look at empowerments from this Tibetanist point of view. Not surprising, since this point of view is never articulated.

Earlier in the thread I mentioned a time when Rinpoche was unable, physically unable, to answer one of my questions, despite making an effort to do so. I couldn't recall his explanation for his difficulty at the time of writing that particular post, but it came to me later. He said that "his Dharmapalas" were preventing him from speaking.

I don't want to be caught in a similar circumstance myself.

I would never have written this thread, simply as a way of giving people "the inside story" on Tibetan Buddhist practice, were it not for my conviction that Tibetan Buddhism has been perverted into a vehicle for the acquisition of power and money, and that this happened centuries ago with results that were deleterious and repressive for Tibetans generally, over the centuries, and ultimately catastrophic for the them and their country.

This is a big story, conceptually, and it is difficult to strategize the telling of it.
edit on 19-12-2018 by ipsedixit because: (no reason given)

posted on Dec, 19 2018 @ 09:25 AM
Part 2

Going back to square one, when people start to meditate at a Tibetan Buddhist meditation center, the experience is pleasant. The members are nice. They are accommodating, not overbearing, at least not at our center.

This sort of thing varies. In some ways, making people jump through hoops to become involved and making things somewhat unpleasant for them, tests their level of interest and commitment. Our center itelf is not that way but our guru was that way when I first encountered him.

He said that, traditionally, there was a fourteen year waiting period during which a guru and student evaluated one another, before formally entering the relationship. He said that wasn't done nowadays because of the circumstances we are living in, with Tibetan Buddhism (and its Tibetanist oligarchs?) under threat.

At any rate, in Tibetan Buddhism one generally begins with "mindfullness" meditation, keeping one's awareness very gently on one's breath. This is the normal beginner's activity of meditation.

Things happen to the body and mind as a result of this practice, but eventually, if the practice is done properly, the mind attains tranquility. I'm not going to bother with the technical terms for these practices and their results. Having attained "tranquility" one waits for "insight" to occur.

Meditators at that point have undergone physical and mental changes.

They have persisted with meditation and overcome physical discomfort caused by sitting cross legged, etc. They have observed the way the mind and body have acclimated to the practice of meditation. They are, most of them, still bothered by sore knees, numbness in the legs, back issues and assorted physical disturbances that they learn to tolerate, interpret and ultimately overcome.

The ones who have persisted to this point find meditation rewarding. They like the people they are meditating with. They like tranquility. It's nice, soothing and actually mentally restorative. They are glad they learned to do it.

If they have not already done so, they will soon start to practice "pujas" which are a combination of meditation, visualization and prayers to a yidam or tutelary deity, including the recitation of the mantra associated with the yidam.

Beginners often start pujas with Chenresig (Avalokiteshvara), the Bodhisattva of compassion. They do the prayers and visualizations and say the mantra associated with that yidam.


One's journey as a Tibetan Buddhist will generally begin in the way described. One will become thoroughly indoctrinated and habituated to the practice. One will like it, partly because there is "sexual" pleasure associated with it, a feeling of bliss as one continues to repeat a mantra.

We've all heard of rats who will push a button connected to electrodes in the brain that give them pleasure, virtually to the point of death, such is their attraction to the feeling they achieve by pushing the button.

Tibetan Buddhist practice is a little like that in the beginning. Once a practitioner of Tibetan Buddhism gets to this point, they are very susceptible to the influence of the guru. They will go along with almost anything the guru says. The guru is catered to and, as nearly as is possible, he is obeyed.

Group think starts to arise. Manners and ways of speaking change. Mannerisms associated with Tibetan Buddhism begin to dominate, chief among them, extreme deference to the guru. There is peer pressure associated with these developments, and resistance to peer pressure, but the resistance generally fades and disappears altogether.

Meditation is good. Beginners usually think "it must get better". They are willing to accept things which are normally unacceptable in our culture, like extreme deference to someone to the point of very obsequious subservience, in order to "get more" of what meditation has to offer, particularly pleasure.

Beginners are completely convinced of the value of the sensation of bliss. They sanctify bliss and transform it, transmute it during their practice. Saying that horniness is next to holiness is too much of a simplification, but to say that horniness is integrated into a meditative practice and is integral with that practice is quite accurate, and also very useful to the one who controls the meditative environment, the guru.

By this point the meditators are "ruled" by their guru. The notion of criticizing the guru is almost painful to contemplate. It's the sort of temerity that can get one cut off completely and scorned by the community, despised even, by the less stable among them, who have completely lost their perspective and who can't remember who and what they were before they started practicing.

This is a serious matter with serious social consequences, and I've only outlined the beginning.

posted on Dec, 19 2018 @ 10:48 AM
Bigness and smallness are important in Vajrayana. A huge Buddha statue is a wonderful thing. We are small next to it. If we have created it in the mind we are still small next to it, very small.

"It can fit into a single cell" . . . and does at the moment of conception.

It can be captured and confined. It can be "buried under" for purposes of black magic. It can be coerced unless it is very, very evolved and aware. That is the goal of the practice, complete awareness, complete self determination, from birth to birth to birth, for the benefit of sentient beings, for the "weal of the world", for "heroic spirits intended". Heroic.

Prostrations and deference, even obsequiousness have a function in this spiritual training. Gurus can justify almost any arrogation of power in the relationship with a student. Sophistry can enter the picture, and ulterior motives. This is not an invariable occurrence. There are many great people in Tibetan Buddhism, but as outlined earlier in the thread, there is also a tendency toward Tibetanism.
edit on 19-12-2018 by ipsedixit because: (no reason given)

posted on Dec, 19 2018 @ 03:51 PM
a reply to: ipsedixit

Once samsara ends? It is best to dig another grave.

"The two voids" is a better and shorter way to put that; for those that know.

The goal is with that vow to achieve Buddha hood; that every sentient being no matter how large or small far or near in the eight directions has taken at one time or another... yes even reading it counts.

Means on realization; renounce the vow and hold fearlessness... then dig three holes for the three poisons and to finally give the buddha, dhamma, and sangha a proper dwelling.

Faith means the absolute of nothing at that point... all sorts and classes of beings are known to arise and pass. No longer an "earnest man" no longer any need for wishes.

What you say about chasing bliss? That's just wrestling with mara; or the "serpent power" of kundalini that has come undone seeking to reattach itself through the kelsas. Meaning continue to dig deep into one's being... did the Buddha ever claim to be anything other than an adherent or arhat to the path? Nope, he/she however manifest as I have seen still digs still practices and even still earth touches as a gesture to sink mara or a demon in place.

Chasing bliss is like a drug addict... think of the seven abodes or cakras as dream worlds a temporary rest of jhana states. One has to leave the flowers alone and become the root dweller; a personal vow of silence helps to know the comings and goings of beings jumping and trying to escape the net in the dance of birth and death.

Each lotus has a heaven and hell each a wheel spinning... on fruition? Do not pick... leave that to the gods, titans, asuras and daeva to be consumed by, be filled with and fight over.

Yes it hurts when they do it... why? Because that tree; IS YOU. Each lotus eventually a tree just the same... fall down seven get up eight is an old koan it is chan based when Buddhism conquered Taoism before evolving into the Zen of Japan. Considering it is wise... many simply think of it as just some old saying and not a koan.

Another practice, read a sutta... and sit with it, over and over until one sees it as true, just the same as a koan... but more than that practice. 10 dan one koan then sit with a sutta and see what happens.

Not easy tasks for those arduous with practice... never mind the coming and going of parrots throwing rocks at their own heads nor those thinking they are slick and too fast with siddhas to be noticed. When it becomes too much return to one pointed focus and the world will shake them all off herself.

posted on Dec, 21 2018 @ 07:38 PM
An Aside on Sex

The center is doing puja tonight and people are bustling around a little. Rinpoche's nephew, another tulku, encountered me near the kitchen I use as he was going downstairs. He was chuckling because he had been upstairs with Rinpoche, who had been talking to X, the nun's son, about his girlfriend.

X's girlfriend is a little distant from the center's activities. She doesn't do pujas, and when she comes to the center it is usually just to accompany X. She knits while he does the center practice. She's well suited to him. She's a solid Alberta girl and gives the impression of a placid, patient temperament. She was introduced to him by two of our former members with whom he stays in contact. They were the ones who used to do his paper route for him when he was a young boy. He's over forty now, but still boyish.

Rinpoche would be having fun with him. Like many monastic personalities, who lead rather arid lives with little close human contact, he loves to gossip and loves juicy gossip. I've been in that conversation.

When Rinpoche was young, one of his aunts playfully bit him on the ear. He said she was being a little naughty. The memory stayed with him.

We had many conversations while working on the literary project referred to earlier in the thread. One time he asked me some questions about sexual intercourse. He knew one of the other center members was my girlfriend. I don't remember the exact words he used but he had several euphemisms that he employed to refer to the "naughty" parts of the body.

He was curious to know how it felt when the penis penetrated the vagina. He explained that when he was young, he was told by his family that the vagina was a dangerous organ with teeth. His imagination took over from there.

"It feels snug and comfy," I told him. He looked at me as if to ascertain whether I was actually telling the truth. He seemed satisfied that I was. He smiled.

I think he suspected that I was a homosexual. I certainly suspected that he was a homosexual, of the Tibetanist sort described earlier. He never made any overtures to me, but some of his conversation, stories from Tibet about a naughty monk, a friendship with Allan Ginsberg, who used to call on him when he came to Toronto, a portrait he had done of a revered teacher in Tibet, an offer to introduce me to Ginsberg (refused, too shy), which I later realized might have been an effort at matchmaking, made me think that his preference was for men.

He had a funny story to tell of going into a room in Boulder where Trungpa Rinpoche was in bed with one of his consorts, and telling the girl that "it's not very big" before making his escape.

Rinpoche has a great sense of humor and comic timing. Once he had the artist who did the illustrations for our book, and I, practically rolling on the floor as he explained some of the more arcane vows from the Vinaya (the third "basket" of the Tripitaka). Vows like "no sex with monkeys". You had to be there. Rinpoche can be very droll.

Sex is such a problem for monastics, even when they are fully loaded with transmutational methods of handling the energy.

"Snug and comfy", along with everything that comes with it, is a formidable combination.
edit on 21-12-2018 by ipsedixit because: (no reason given)

posted on Dec, 22 2018 @ 04:26 PM
a reply to: ipsedixit

Seeing how most Dakini stay in the clear light? When you stand up... they have a tendency to fall off as the lower part of oneself falls from that "snug and comfy" spot.

Shoo you lazy bitches it is traditional to wait until sleep then sit on them until they are a corpse and all the beasts slide away then grab life by the horns and plow the satta back to life.

To be honest those are just as bad...

Thank goodness some are working on reviving the Dakini line of teachings.

Maybe one will actually stick the landing proper one of these days.

posted on Dec, 22 2018 @ 06:49 PM
Typical Incident.

This kind of thing has happened innumerable times over the decades in which I have lived with our nun.

As I said earlier in the thread, her default position is passive aggressive and her weapon of choice is information. Some members of the center might think that if some bit of information of general interest to center members comes up, and if she is told about it, then it will automatically be passed on to me, since I share a kitchen with her and run into her frequently. The exact opposite is true. She makes sure that I know nothing about it, whatever it is.

After it has happened, when it is too late, or sometimes, just before it happens, when it is too late, she will put on an elaborate, smiling pretense of "normality", as if she had a warm and friendly attitude toward me, and give me the information. Everything about her presentation will be made to appear completely natural. An observer would never guess that he was observing a freak in action.

Rinpoche's relative, the young tulku, is expected to take over his spiritual responsibilities eventually. Today a new puja was introduced into the body of practices done by our center. The nun didn't tell me what was going on until after the puja was over.

I think she started off with something that told me what had happened and featured this question, "You didn't want to attend the puja did you?" She then told me that it would be done once a month. I don't remember if she included some excuse for not mentioning it to me. She has an excuse for all her lapses. Lots of lapses, lots of excuses.

In fact I didn't want to attend the puja and wouldn't have attended it even if I had known about it in advance. I have my reasons for this.

The fact is though, that I did know about the puja. Our nun didn't know that I knew. Fortuitously the yogi's wife had come to the center earlier in the day to do some pujas that she does privately. She is a very confirmed practitioner and supporter of Rinpoche and the center and best of all, is mostly normal. She mentioned the puja to me earlier in the day.

This is trivial, of course, something that most people would probably let go or "straighten out" with the nun. It was something that people who had never spent a considerable period dealing with "a clockwork orange" like our nun would not see as that troublesome in itself. The occurrence was not that troublesome. A drop of water on the forehead is not that troublesome, either.

This morning I had spent about an hour, observed by the nun, fixing the door knob to one of the rooms in the center, with my tools. I have done innumerable things of that sort for the center through the decades, and other people, including the nun, have done innumerable things for the center.

She is my teacher, but she keeps a hard school. In my situation there is no other.
edit on 22-12-2018 by ipsedixit because: (no reason given)

posted on Dec, 23 2018 @ 09:06 AM
a reply to: ipsedixit

Pregnant with expectation; is a term to ponder where passive aggressive is concerned.

Have you sat on the floor of the kitchen from various points, to see the "Theravada" view? If you do and see "The devil coming"

posted on Dec, 25 2018 @ 01:07 AM

originally posted by: BEBOG

Have you sat on the floor of the kitchen from various points, to see the "Theravada" view? If you do and see "The devil coming"

We're getting a little ahead of the story here but the point you raise with this question is important. You are suggesting what I interpret as a "magical" response to the situation no matter what label you give it. In some sense your suggestion is to participate in the perpetrator's game.

In Vajrayana practice that approach would be intensified through the invocation of protective deities. Before long there would be a battle of the Dharmapalas going on. The slope here is very slippery.

In fact for some time now, this person has been exerting some degree of "magical" power. This is one of the big problems with Tibetan Buddhism involving gurus with few scruples, "crazy wisdom" types who believe that all is permitted because all is grist for the Dharma mill. They start initiating sociopaths and turning them into weapons. Further down the road the sociopaths become self starters, getting involved in various kinds of sympathetic magic. I could go into a considerable exposition here, including examples from my own experience as a victim, but it would be irresponsible.

It gets very close to branches of Afro originated cults who might torture an animal to death, control its spirit and then put the raging animal spirit into an enemy's head to run amok. That's just a twist of the dial to a more extreme setting than we can find, in some, not all situations, in Tibetan Buddhism.

The bottom line is that it is very very difficult, if not impossible for a beginner in Tibetan Buddhism to avoid eventual involvement in morally and ethically questionable coercive meditation practices, either actively or passively.

My motto has been "duck and cover" as much as possible, but it has not always been possible.

My default setting for dealing with troublesome individuals is spaciousness. I have confidence in "mind", and I mean the mind of the obnoxious person,to eventually realize that their conduct is actually a distortion of their own natural mental state.

People very often in their skirmishes with other people, in all walks of life, will come to realize that "winning is losing".

Note: A funny story

This is a very Tibetan story. I won't go into detail about it because I don't want to disturb relationships, muddy waters, or stir the pot. One must be very careful about these things. There was a divorce in my guru's family. I know "both sides". My troubles with the situation at our center had been going on for some time and I was often exasperated. The relationship with my guru was fraying at the edges.

One half of the divorced couple knew about this. We were very close friends. He is a tulku and powerful. One night while I was sleeping, he invoked me and sent me against my guru! Tibetan mischief. I realized what had happened, but I was also annoyed with my guru, so I came forward (He was sitting in lotus posture.) and I lightly tapped my phurba on his knee and returned to my body. Of course he noticed, but remained unmoved. It was never mentioned and there were no repercussions. I have no doubt that he realized who initiated the incident.

All of us are still friends. The mischief maker, the current and the "ex" were all here a couple of days ago.

Some people love all this kind of stuff. I haven't done any yidam practice in quite a while, but eventually I don't think I will be able to avoid returning to it. They just won't leave me alone.
edit on 25-12-2018 by ipsedixit because: (no reason given)

posted on Dec, 25 2018 @ 09:55 AM
a reply to: ipsedixit

Don't forget Buddhism is an "Introduction to reality" falling into delusion is easy as there are so many beliefs. That is why I suggest sitting with a sutta the koan will just take you to a hall of Patriarchs... sitting with a sutta? To one side of the lord himself.

Understanding the Suraganama sutta... Places you at Manjushris side. He's kind and wise enough to keep taking heads above and below until the Buddha holds yours in his hands and asks if you are attached to it.

It's one thing it sit in one place until a "you" shows up... it is another for Gotama to be holding your head. Old lamas are fond of pointing and saying that's me as a Tulku... no no no dumbass you're a Brahman snake sliding through skins in that infinite tail of past lives and don't know who or what you are get the hell out of here.

That sutta can only really be comprehended by Anagamins that have passed through the asura plane of beings. Just so you know...

Why did the Buddha remain silent often times? If the inquisitor remained silent too? Their "self" would have shown up to answer that question for them... cyclic existence is kammic existence meaning any circular thought like a boomerang returns and thus yet another to what is the one returnable too? Duck! and yeah cover as in put on your robe you stinky ass before you lose the honour of wearing one at all.

So yes sit on the floor of that place; you'll grown and shrink and expand with the breath and all other illusions that make up that place... and then be able as a natural boon to just "appear there".

Of course some take their satta vows seriously whether Bodhi or Maha; how irritating to be eating and one appear palm to palm asking for a pass... you know your god damned vows! get going! Or renounce!

posted on Dec, 26 2018 @ 02:35 AM
Part 3

For most beginners it does take a while to develop a yidam practice. This will involve doing a puja (prayers, visualization, mantra) at regular intervals for an extended period of time. It could be years, depending on the individual. Generally one will begin to like the practice, in time. One will "get into it". One will begin to visualize oneself as a meditator first. "Faking it to make it."

During that process further socialization will take place within the group. Routines will be established in the context of this practice. One will start to "fit in" to the practice and the group.

In the beginning, most people are actually "going through the motions", but that is the entry level of any ritual practice. Large numbers of repetitions of the practice begin to have an effect but one might not necessarily notice them because one is still troubled with sore knees and other difficulties encountered at the very beginning of the basic Buddhist practices described in Part 2.

In actual fact one will have started to create the form of the yidam being practiced long before one becomes aware of it.

Our particular group of beginners were puzzled by "visualization". We didn't know how to do it. The tankhas (paintings) of the yidams seemed so complicated and colorful that visualizing them seemed impossible. For us it was impossible.

(I'm discussing this to give a flavor of "beginner's mind" in Vajrayana.)

One of Chentze Rinpoche's monks got a laugh by suggesting that we imagine that the yidam was sitting on the end of our noses.

That was enough to get us started.

The actual sequence of events leading to the achievement of the ability to "become" the yidam is probably the same for everyone but because everyone meditates under different physical (bodily) and social circumstances, the time and circumstances of one's first realization that one has "become" the yidam will vary.

At this point one will still be very happy with meditation. One will have a deeper appreciation of the benefits of tranquility meditation and insight meditation. Everything will be wonderful. Yidam practice will also be novel and wonderful and very authentically yogic, because of its detail. Yidam practice is something that one can "come to grips with". There is plenty to do.

One loves tranquility meditation and insight meditation but these practices begin to take a back seat to yidam practice.

The first time one is "invoked" as a Dharmapala and sent out on an "enforcement" job, out of body, in the middle of the night, as a result of someone, somewhere in town, being upset at someone else, praying to your yidam, pulling you out of your body and sending you to attack "the enemy", will come as a considerable shock.

You will wake up at home having just dreamed that you were very angry at someone and had just boxed his ears while he slept, waking him up.

In the vast majority of cases this event will have occurred because some fellow practitioner that one may or may not even know, was bullied by someone or spoken to very rudely, or had suffered some such similar, minor but vexing incident and was taking out their anger by praying to your yidam.

I was bewildered when this first happened to me. I didn't know what to make of it and wasn't sure what had happened. After a few more instances of this happening, I began to realize what was going on and sometimes could detect who had invoked me and sent me out to clobber someone.

This began to disturb me because I didn't get into Buddhism to start clobbering people, no matter how much of a bully or annoyance they were. I didn't like being invoked in that way.

Meditation, as an activity, seemed to have a social dimension that I had not been aware of. I didn't grasp the full reality of the "social dimension" at that point, but I wasn't happy about being used in that way. It bothered me, but at that point I didn't grasp the significance and ramifications of the idea that it was possible to assault someone through the activity of a third party, invoked in the form of a yidam.

This not a bother to some of my vajra brothers and sisters who have happily assaulted me, I might add, as yidams, or played even more dangerous and damaging tricks on me. If you are a sociopath or fundamentally a borderline thug and initiated by your very knowledgeable guru, you might lead quite a satisfying dream life, clobbering people you would like to clobber anyway, in your yidam form.

This, to me, seems a long way off the track of practicing in order to create conditions in the mind such that all of reality manifests as Nirvana.

I'm reluctant to call this phenomenon Tibetanism, because I have no doubt that Indians were doing similar things centuries before Buddhism went to Tibet, and so, most likely, were the native Tibetan shamans as well.

I don't think many beginners in Tibetan Buddhism realize that they are, with high probability, headed for this experience and that they will no longer control their own meditation. Yidam meditation is a thoroughly social activity. It is a complete departure from Theravadin practice or Zen practice. It is not solitary. It is not "tranquil".

These kinds of things are also done by Hindus, African originated Caribbean cults, and potentially by other spirit style religious groups or religions with occult fringe branches like Christianity, Islam and Judaism.

Hello World.

posted on Dec, 26 2018 @ 08:20 AM
a reply to: ipsedixit

Your doubt is what to cling too, it is the dust waiting to be cleaned off of wine glasses. When hungry eat, when sleepy sleep.

Ignoring the needs of the body, often leave people out of their minds... meaning no compassion or rest for even the wicked.

Six realms... mean six wombs of moisture born, egg born, womb born, and as invocation goes? Spontaneous born.

As pure land goes? Manjushri has never left the Buddhas side as his son... all monks are seen as his son, later religions like Islam... took the same principle and the Patriarch that turned his wheel as a "god" or father and tradition goes that all of them are named Mohammad instead of Monk.

The noble truths mean knowing suffering leads to Nobility as in strength and courage... impermanence is the lesson... when you say "you" being invoked and "our" nun. That "nun" is either the Buddhas mother or daughter... and "you" as long as that "you" exists? The path is still folded up... the steps of lotus has yet to blossom... and yet you and others have been given infinite steps; to realize the wheel of life.

Can't escape it... but eventually; you can own it as an Arhat, as a Samyaksambodhi Buddha, or as a Pratyekka Buddha... all three of those yannas eventually the same. The three steps... I am the turd on the bottom of the yakkas sandal who offered his head only because that head was full/fool of the same.

Animist the net all life trembles before the rod... the black and white, the known and unknown... the cone or color? Thinking it more birth? Some life trembles before that too.

How many in the order still have their white robes from first ordination? Or at least a remnant... lol I was told to gird my loins by a Jewish man that wanders around like a hungry ghost.

Why? His third eye was open and saw gentials... ignorant of Buddhism? He didn't see it was a womb realm, I knew I was fully clothed, he swam the other way saying "He concidered oral of a vagina/yoni unclean" and yet he spoke it with his mouth meaning he was already consumed by it.

He was in the formation link and in the woman giving birth link and being a demon of the wheel telling me what to do with my loins at the same time...

A god showed up in a similar situation once asking the Buddha how to untangle the tangle... all Maitreya can say is place this penny on the ground; that asshole doesn't want to see it, that asshole does so shove him into and leap frog over the next one because thats me.

Like candy from a baby... sack cloth robes do not feel so good. But at least the potato is girded in two ways with before the knife comes out.

Nice thing about a potato? It knows inversion so well; that it always grows up, unless skinned then planted in the dirt.

Evil like that though is why; there's no digging allowed in the vinaya basket, the basket is for gathering off of the vine the trees and plants of life... not pulling BS until an old man feeds you a fruit then mentally thinks you the same.

posted on Dec, 26 2018 @ 10:33 AM
A Recapitulation

Just think of it, creating conditions in the mind such that all of Nirvana manifests as Samsara.

What have we learned so far?

We have learned that the Buddha was focused on relieving suffering. He discovered something absolutely incredible about the human mind in doing so, but at first was reluctant to tell anyone about it because what he had discovered was so subtle that he didn't think anyone would be able to appreciate its importance. Experimentally, he approached his former companions in austerities, the "big league" yogis as I like to call them, the samanas. They got his message and understood it.

He had a life of spreading this message and in the Simsapa Grove he confided to the bikkhus that he knew much more than he had told them, but that he had held back this knowledge, which he called "direct knowledge", because he did not believe that it contributed to the Holy Life or furthered the cause of relieving suffering. He enjoined his followers to stick to the main task, the relief of suffering.

The Buddha's teaching proliferated and became well established, enough to challenge the supremacy of the Brahminical practices of society as a whole, in that region.

The situation, in spiritual matters, would have been very rich and in constant flux. On the social level and the political level there would have been friction. The Buddhas followers would have been subject to two important influences, one being challenges from other spiritual masters, magically minded yogis and individuals and groups hostile to them.

The other influence would have been a growing body of "direct knowledge" accumulated by the Buddha's enlightened followers, simply as a by product of their enlightenment.

In this way the situation would have been comparable to that of our oldest ancestors. Enlightened Arhats would have been aware of the presence of the spirits of the deceased, around them, and may have, under magical assault, cried out to these spirit presences for assistance.

In time, the meditative apparatus of Vajrayana Buddhism would have arisen, incorporating more and more "direct knowledge" into the original teaching of the Buddha, gradually burying it under a completely different method of meditation from the one espoused by the Buddha, and burying it under a panoply of yidams.

Further along the road Vajrayana would travel to a society in Tibet, not steeped in Hinduism with its gentle tolerance of variety in spiritual practice, but to a fiercely competitive, feudalistic social milieu, dominated by shamanism and black magic.

There, Vajrayana Buddhism would be transformed into Tibetanized Vajrayana Buddhism, and thoroughly integrated into politics and economics. The practice would be franchised by the various lineages, and control asserted over access to it.

Eventually, under the guidance of the system thus created, after several hundred years, Tibet would find itself weak, confused and unable to navigate in the modern world, completely at the mercy of the unmerciful.

Tibet, the imaginary Tibet so beloved of Western "Tibetan Buddhists", would be ground down under the boots of the Chinese Red Army. The Tibetan spiritual oligarchs, saints and sinners among them, would flee into the Tibetan diaspora, looking for friends among the naive.
edit on 26-12-2018 by ipsedixit because: (no reason given)

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