Have we failed as parents? Why are all these girls getting raped?

originally posted by: ketsuko

originally posted by: fiverx313
hey great idea, while the girls are learning self-defense the boys can have classes on how their boners don't entitle them to take whatever they want? just a thought!

I'm sorry, but as the mother of a little boy.

This has to be the single most offensive thing ever.

"Hey son, go out rape as many girls as you want!" Said no mother EVER.

mothers dont say it but society as a whole encourages men to think they ''deserve'' vagina and should just take it.
so many shows movies show men that if they keep pestering women then they will get worn down. look atthe fake geek culture thing going on, if a guy is creepy or sad women will be ok with it

a reply to: JAGStorm

I think most people just don't spend enough time with their families anymore.
People are forced to work and then they cool off by either playing Video Games or watching TV. The internet definitely contributes to things like rape happening, rejection is the main cause I think?

I doubt I would be a father myself but if I were, I'd take the time with my daughter to teach her how to defend herself properly. Not just how to use pepper sprays but also hand to hand combat, aim for the eyes and run etc.

Also telling her she can only date men who have spoken to me first about it, proven they're not a coward and have my consent for them to date her, would be effective but I think being teenagers they'd ignore their superiors anyway.

a reply to: kerrichin

Then we need to change societal attitudes toward sex in general, not put boys into special classes to treat them all as if they are simply rapists.

originally posted by: ketsuko
a reply to: kerrichin

Then we need to change societal attitudes toward sex in general, not put boys into special classes to treat them all as if they are simply rapists.

i agree. i hate the term ''boys will be boys''. it insults everyone, it insults he girls/women who are abused, passing hte blame to them and it insults boys and men even more i believe. its saying men/boys are just things that cant control themselves, they are not human they cant control themselves.
i know plenty of men, my dad being one who would never commit this in fact when he was a coach driver, women groups would requet him as a driver becuase he was like a father to everyone, so yeah i feel insulted for men like him when ever i hear this saying.

a reply to: kerrichin

But again, here you are putting all the blame on boys.

Let's look at the hippie free love movement and hookup culture in general. It encourages both sexes - boys and girls - to seek random, single hit encounters and then blow each other off. That isn't an environment conducive to the type of trust you need to build in order to be safe with one another in any real way, mental, emotional, much less physical.

If we treated sex less like something to indulge in because we're bored and drunk on Friday and Saturday, then there might be less rape and less sexual assault, but right now, both genders treat it cavalierly and put themselves in bad positions.

a reply to: ketsuko

I disagree with this wholeheartedly.

Treating sex as some super-special, one-love kind of thing is exactly the type of idea that foments shame in seeking sexual desires. It puts up barriers between the sexes and encourages dangerous and haphazard sexual practices.

Teach people about all aspects of sex, not just the scientific terms, and people can begin to respect each other. Sexual assault and rape isn't about sex. It's about power. It's always about power.

originally posted by: ketsuko
a reply to: kerrichin

But again, here you are putting all the blame on boys.

Let's look at the hippie free love movement and hookup culture in general. It encourages both sexes - boys and girls - to seek random, single hit encounters and then blow each other off. That isn't an environment conducive to the type of trust you need to build in order to be safe with one another in any real way, mental, emotional, much less physical.

If we treated sex less like something to indulge in because we're bored and drunk on Friday and Saturday, then there might be less rape and less sexual assault, but right now, both genders treat it cavalierly and put themselves in bad positions.

im not putting blame on boys im putting the blame on society and how it teachs boys and girls that boys are owed sex. girls should be sexual yet virginical and boys should be rabid sex obsessed, look how men and boys are treated when they dont enjoy sex or are more feminine, they are ridiculed and called girls or the p word, even men getting raped in prisons isnt a sexual enjoyment thing its control, and then mocked and shouldnt be they are victims.
boys and girls should be taught how sex is enjoyable but both parties should be willing, but look at say the catholic church they are obsessed with sex and what people do.
my own experience, i was taught the birds and bees and how it was natural and nothing to be ashamed of, and i really wasnt bothered with it as a teen.
if i had a question id ask my mum no shame at all, she would answer in an age appropriate way, i never went out for one night stands or either was bothered with dating. my friends whos parents treated sex as a taboo went straight out and experimented, treating sex as shameful has the repercussions like the Magdalene laundries and the boys being molested by priests.

at the end of the day boys get a raw deal tehy are taught to be aggressive take what they want and being kind and caring is a girly so bad thing. this isnt on the boys, this is on society as a whole, they can know what they are taught.
same with girls they only know what they are taught.

originally posted by: links234
A metric f***-ton of victim blaming in this.

'If you could defend yourself you wouldn't get raped.'
'If you didn't dress like that, you wouldn't get raped.'

'Boys will be boys and will rape girls anyway.'

WTF. Seriously? How about we teach men and women not to rape? Teach them about consent when they get their sex education. Oh wait, we only want to teach abstinence so that kids can just blindly fall into sex and be ashamed of themselves.

Very stupid and arrogant rant.

Teach people the finer points of not violating someone else all you want, there's always going to be a minority subset where that never gets through to them. You can teach 100 kids theft is wrong, some will still steal some day. Teach 100 kids that beating the snot out of someone is wrong, a few will still beat the snot out of someone some day. Teach 100 kids that murder is wrong, a couple will still murder some day. Teach 100 kids rape is wrong and a couple will still do it some day.

Capable people who are able to take their own defense into their own hands should be encouraged to, not discouraged. All you're advocating for is easy prey for the demented, which -- might I remind you -- we will always have. Some people are born lost causes f#d in the head, no amount of teaching will ever remedy that.

a reply to: Nyiah

All you're advocating for is the perpetuation of victimization and persecution.

It's not a black and white issue that will be magically fixed with just one thing but oh my God, stop blaming the victim for being a victim.

a reply to: JAGStorm

How about teaching men not to rape?

a reply to: Joecanada11

Yeah, I think we've been teaching that, how's it working so far?

How about teaching kids not to do drugs, how's that working?

a reply to: Joecanada11

How about teaching children respect? Isn't that what this is all about? Respect?

Men and women are both capable of sexual misconduct. It's not a gender thing...its a people thing. American society as a whole lacks respect on a large scale...hence why we see the prison systems filled to the brim with rapists, murderers, thieves, etc.

A2D

a reply to: Agree2Disagree

I agree that respect is slowly becoming extinct, however rape has been around since the beginning of time.