a reply to: DBCowboy
Condolences for your loss. The day I returned from the hospital after my mother died, three days after she got her wish to see the butterfly
conservatory at Niagra Falls (which I only clued into later as to it's symbolism for her - resurrection), a thought struck me and that was that we
can't live forever in this form and there there's a time for everything. I'm still mourning her loss now about 20 years later, and didn't really
handle it well, but that epiphany about the cycle of life gave me a little comfort, along with the impression that I have that she's with God in
heaven and with me at some level to this very day.
Before she died, she'd asked me to talk with her afterwards, which I haven't done a lot of because of what they say about trying to converse with the
dead, and I regret it now.
It was funny - I asked her to please give me some privacy and not to visit when I was in the shower, or doing anything else!
Oh how I loved my mother, and still do. My father, I realize, I'm still working to reconcile with. He'd died a year earlier. I found him, was about to
go visit him and tell him that I loved him before heading to the cottage. Said it anyway and prayed for God to receive him.
Not easy being a double minister's son (however liberal they were) with a saint & a sinner in heaven watching over me.
There is one Spirit of a Living God and nothing is forgotten, but it's very very important that we learn to HEAL relatibve to our family of origin,
and best if we can do it while they're still alive and with us so that we don't remain conflicted in the domain of the Spirit where at some level they
still live, without and within us.
It's tough stuff, but the tears are worth it, up to a point, and then we must laugh in the liberation of healing on the other side of the ordeal.
So it never completely goes away, but when they die, how we grieve is important work because it can do both them and us a great deal of Justice,
restoring our ability to also experience the full joy where it might be said that the more that sorrow and suffering has carved into our being the
more joy we can contain.
Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted!
And even if it's been 20 years, it's never too late!
Be blessed, and be gentle with yourself as the frayed nerves begin to heal, while recognizing that that's just the start of a necessary greiving
May his love be with you to comfort you and inform you.