What is missing in idea of marriage

a reply to: and14263

it isnt possible she is wrong.

when i have thought it upside down sideways and in and out. i should have to come to peace with it by now. it should have leveled itself.

a reply to: SallieSunshine

*hugs*

a reply to: CriticalStinker

ok. thanks. i see it. lets use some time.

originally posted by: Damla
a reply to: CriticalStinker

ok. thanks. i see it. lets use some time.

I still constantly date, just not with the intention of marriage (which I tell my partner to be honest and not waste their time if they have different goals). I've had a lot of fun with it, and as long as everyone is mature, nothing bad comes of it.

Maybe I'll find someone I can commit to for life, maybe I won't. I'm not really scared either way, I just like things to happen organically, and not forced.

Live for yourself your moms simply wrong.
I know it sucks when we learn our parents are as flawed as we are, usually comes in your mid 20’s.

I’d go so far as to say often times our parents more flawed than we are. With each new generation comes new information and ideals somtimes the old ones can’t let go of what their parents taught them even if it flys in the face of the modern world.

Don’t be like your mom.

a reply to: Damla

Trust

a reply to: Damla

Sounds to me like she wants grand kids and grandkids with the best chance of success are from marriage..

It is a primal and evolutionary drive to send your genetics into the future through offspring.

I would bet dollars to donuts that is what’s at the heart of it.

The best chance of a successful marriage comes when you meet someone you can be a real partner in life with. Sex helps, but it's not the only thing that matters.

Do you like him? Can you stick with him? Do the two of you work well together? Can you both make small compromises in how you do things to accommodate one another and is it an easy thing to do?

Husband, love, best friend ... that's not wrong, and it's what you're aiming for.

The odds that any single person your mother tries to throw at you will be that kind of guy are very small. Stick to your guns and when you find that guy, you find that guy. Just remember - marriage takes tending and the grass isn't greener. Stick to your guy and trust that he'll stick by you. That's what those vows are all about, right?

a reply to: ketsuko

she never liked my boyfriends. maybe she felt they werent ok since some of them ended up being traumatized people with real messed up choices. no they met mom once or twice not her fault.

it is really like a twilight episode sometimes. for example a guy whom a friend intruduced asks my phone and sweats terribly while talking to me says he should meet me and next day apologizes saying no we cant be a couple. sometimes i laugh when it happens at the start.

a reply to: Damla

Sounds to me like you're missing your own desire to be married.

I wouldn't marry someone that was doing it for someone else's happiness.

a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

i cant double read this. can you be more clear?

originally posted by: Damla
a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

i cant double read this. can you be more clear?

I can't make it any clear than that

a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

this means i will accumulate lots of accusations.

originally posted by: Damla
a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

this means i will accumulate lots of accusations.

Ok.

a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

you are kidding right? if your prayers worked i'd be married already.

a reply to: Damla

Take religion and the idea that marriage = ownership out of it and marriage would be fine.

a reply to: Damla

what am i missing i want to understand.

You are missing nothing.

Marriage was never about love and happiness.

It's about property rights.

originally posted by: Damla
a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

you are kidding right? if your prayers worked i'd be married already.

Who ya talkin to?

a reply to: scraedtosleep

i dont want to listen that song video.

a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

yeah. take back your word. like you had any other chance and where is your mama if you fall and hurt your knee.