a reply to: halfoldman
Oh don't get me wrong. I'm not saying BPD is fake, or confusing it with Bipolar, well except comparing that they are both personality/emotional mental
It's more so about the context of what I was saying than maybe the literal interpretation of it.
My reply was specifically in response to the scenario of the OP. Which just sounds more like a typical 'psycho girlfriend' many have seen or
experienced than a mental disorder if ya get me.
The rest regarding the Bipolar and ADHD stuff, was just me thinking about how many people with these labels simply have nothing wrong with them except
for a lack of self control and self discipline. Regardless of the mental illness.
Such people make it difficult for the people who have a real physical or mental reason for their behavior being genuinely beyond their control.
They make people view genuine suffers as fakers too.
Sad I have met many kids who have so called behavioral problems and even some adults, who have nothing wrong with them.
Their behaviour is truly one of lazy parenting.
But they are medicated.
I'll give some examples.
Like the friend I have with bipolar. She is treatable. I am proof of that.
With me and my wife she is no different to any other female human emotionally.
If something upsets her I make her be a freaking adult and deal with it. (Hell we're in our 40's all have kids and grand kids these days) Because I
know her real problem is she is not made to deal with her problems.
Meds won't cure depression, dealing with what is making you depressed is what cures it for 90% of people I believe.
Hey we've all had to deal with bad # in our lives. As they say life wasn't meant to be easy.
When she is with her carer or other friends, counselors, doctors, shrinks, social media posts etc., they all positively reinforce her victim status
and that it's okay to not deal with your problems because society will carry you and run your life for you.
She is not encouraged to try and fix her life. She's told she needs more rest, she should stay in bed more, that it's okay to sit in her room feeling
sorry for herself. She is told everything holding her back is a positive, and she is even rewarded for it.
Her whole life is paid for by the government. She doesn't have to work. She has no reason to.
But the rub us, there is genuinely nothing wrong with her anymore except for a bad social circle and a wrong outlook on life.
When she makes the effort she is a functioning member of society. Has she had a bad life? Sure. But again so have a lot of us and she got more help
than most, and 20 years later her problems no longer exist. Some of them are literally dead.
Really is a case of mind of matter.
Same with many kids with ADHD.
My step son for basically the entirety of primary school misbehaved at school.
School called his mother and I into the office to talk about him.
Straight away to the "you should have him tested for ADHD."
He wouldn't sit down, he wouldn't listen, he interrupted other kids, we got calls daily.
Thing is at home there was none of it.
He wasn't an angel, all kids have their moments, they're still learning. We all # up some times, even as adults.
The trick is we're meant to learn from our mistakes.
What the problem with him was we disciplined him at home, and at school the teachers have become too scared to so much as growl at a misbehaved
He wasn't really getting punished. Timeouts? lol, I would of loved those as a kid. Instead I could get the cane or detention when I was his age. Let
me sit on a chair not doing any work though? Hell yeah.
Stop me from playing with my friends after school or whack my hand, you bet I'll behave in class.
If we ran around the class room like a fool, the teacher would grabbed us and given us an earful. Put the fear of god into us so to speak, and if we
cried home to mummy and daddy they'd give us an earful for extra measure.
Regardless we learned a lesson about behavior.
Teachers these days are scared they'll get sued if they do something so they do nothing. They've lost power, mostly because of a few who abused it and
because easy lawsuits.
The problem isn't ADHD, it's lazy gutless adults.
Hell I have friends whose kids swear, throw tantrums, even tear walls down, like one literally destroyed his home, a 9 year old neighbor, too all the
plaster off, the entire houses frame exposed, and they cuss up a storm of swear words.
They're supposedly ADHD and ended up medicated.
Yet they're perfect little angels when in my presence. One friends kid swore once at my house. Only once because I turned to him and said, "hey mate,
you might be allowed to swear at home, but you're in my house now and we don't swear here. Plus my daughters are here and I don't want them to hear
you swearing. So you're not to swear again OK?"
Helped he had a crush on my girls lol.
Never swore in my house again. Always acted like a proper little gentleman every time he visited after that.
I made him take responsibility for himself, was clear on the problem. Educated him on acceptable behaviour.
Back at home? Swearing up a storm. Misbehaves. Honestly my friends were just lazy parents.
I'd say 98% of kids I meet on meds with ADHD are normal kids.
Same for most adults.
It's like that in most mental illness and behavioral problems.
Sorry, I tend to over explain things...
So yes, I know and accept SOME people have BPD. That it's a real thing and many commenters on this thread have presented good examples of such, but
more often than not examples like given in the OP is just someone being a #ty human being and blaming a condition to excuse it pisses me off.
Pisses me off more though that we just accept it and allow it.
Peer pressure can be a good cure all for many problems sometimes. Especially purely social ones.
A person should show they are beyond controlling themselves even if they tried before they're bagged and tagged.
Too many are abusing the system to get a free ride in life and it takes resources from the people who need them.
Sorry I'm tired and cranky and full of words.