A new "MeToo" movement could be coming - that of the abuse by current or former coaches

*note - mods plesase move to correct forum, this isn't really a rant, but it also kind of is, but I feel it is more related to societal issues and potential civil unrest from the breakdown of many institutions.

**note - the second post/page is where I describe what happened to me, the paragraph on the page before explains the circumstances surrounding the assault. Note - this happened 20 years ago, so I can understand why some women have kept their mouths shut in many situations.

Before I get into details about what happened to me, I've never talked about it with anyone, but there was a pretty big issue when I was in high school and college when it came to coaches (and maybe teachers) abusing, harassing, mocking and just making the student's life miserable. The abuse could be all kinds from talking down to the kid in front of the team, mocking them, harassing them by always picking on them when others are doing the same thing if not worse and finally physical abuse (I guess sexual is also an issue especially after Sandusky and Nassar, but I haven't witnessed this. There is also all of those things I mentioned done by team mates, often in front of the coach (so with their approval) and it can lead kids to suicide.

This topic is an extension of the "bullying in school" as well as the sexual harassment "MeToo" movement and it can have profound and lifelong repicussions from these actions. When a coach bullies and mocks you for whatever reason, an athlete may want to push themselves harder, faster, longer, etc and may even turn to performance enhancing drugs to get the edge they need (they may already be as good as starting teammates but due to team "politics" of the school/institution or just that the coach or team mates hating them) from the use of steroids to doing "speed" or other things that could give the person a leg up and to make the coach STFU.

I suffered a case of sabotage by a few team mates when I played football (left gaurd). The center and I had long history, were babysat together and never had problems until 9th grade when I started playing football. 98% of the team had been playing since probably 1-2nd grade our town is like Friday Night Lights (from what I hear, never seen it) but more like the town from Varsity Blues (1999 movie) with a 40+ year tradition with state records and maybe national records for most winning coach - NFL players, many D1 players and slews of D2 & D3, yearly all state players, you name it. It is the towns unofficial religion. The football program makes most other sports possible due to the amount of money taken in from ticket sales at the stadium (so it pays for all stadium upkeep/renovations, etc) - then there is the booster club which raises more money for state of the art equipment, training camps, guest coaches, lots of assistant coaches, etc. BUT all the players are home grown, born and bread in the school district with the occasional transfer every few years (due to some family emergency of some kind and usually out of state - as compared to other teams of similar talent/skill who are notorious for recruiting and those are public schools - I won't even go into the catholic schools and charters!) So there is a lot of pride from the town, school, players and the district as a whole (there are some haters though).

So with that kind of mindset in a town and with a coach with the 3rd or 4th most winning coach in the states history, that puts a lot of pressure on an abused kid to come forward. My coach was the high school version of Joe Paterno (when it came to in town/county/region celebrity status) and he also turned a blind eye to a lot of behavior which should not have been tolerated - though he was VERY strict when it was seen or reported & verified. The issue in cases like this if a player has a problem, there really is no one to turn to (the principal and vice principal were ex players for him, or the wrestling coach), and the other coaches (for wrestling, were probably worse but not as well known at the time). If a student made an allegation that would get the coach in trouble or the team or star player, then that student would be in for a world of hurt - alienation, mocking, phsyical abuse, threats and much more - and that is just during the school day, in the school/hallways. It would get worse at practice, at the gym or riding bus to school or walking. It would be like accusing a beloved preacher/minister/reverend of some heinous act.

My senior year there was an new head lineman coach (3rd year on team, but promoted to head job), he was a few years out of college where he was a lineman at a decent school. He was big, tough and intimidating to us youngins. He worked as a sub/temp physed teacher (coach probably using up his accumulated sick days to get new coach some hours to make his position legit) but his main job was a corrections officer for very troubled youth to young adults - these were some bad kids from the city who showed zero respect and were very violent. We heard some stories and it sounded like a scary violent place to work. I think he carried over that mindset to our practices for some people that he didn't like - maybe he was venting on people he didn't care for (me and a couple others, but I was able to make jokes about what he said when he insulted me or mocked me. Oddly he wasn't a bad coach and did try to help me at times.

W/o getting into all the details of why this happened (it is very complex and deals with one other player - the center - sabotaging me on some speccific plays - as I was the left guard). In the play when the center snaps the ball he is supposed to take a step forward with his foot furthest away from me, then pivot about 30-40 degrees towards me while running towards the linebacker or tackle that was in front of me. My job was to pull to the right, behind the center and block/kick-out (aka Trap) the defensive tackle that was allowed to pass through the line and then the running back would run behind me and through the hole I had just made in the line for an average of 6-8 yards (but could be as far as a touchdown if done correctly).. The problem is the center was taking a step backwards with his foot closest to me and then either stood there until I ran into him, or took anothe step backwards to garuntee I would run into him. On a run play, the center NEVER does this and it should be obvious to anyone watching what was happening. This was also the first string center (I was second string b/c I didn't play junior year b/c I worked) and he always had a problem with me. The coaches would go balistic when this happened and I would be singled out and mocked, ridiculed, and at one point this was yelled so loud anyone within 200-300 yards could hear: "Jesus Christ, Ghod dnamit. (with proper swearing) (insert my last name here) you are the dumbest phuking... errr ummmm.... smart kid I have ever met" all while breaking his clipboard, stomping up to me while screaming and grabbing my facemask and flicking it areund. I tried to explain what was happening but he said 'run again, and same thing, but more cussing and more abuse, this time with the offensive lineman coach jumping in. So it happened 2x in a row. Now is where it gets bad - the previous was kind of "normal".

The thing is I had run this play at least 100x in the last 5-6 weeks while playing on second string varsity or on the practice squad playing against the varsity defense. I had not messed up the play one time ever. Thankfully the other two centers (both were sophomores, I was a senior) said they saw what was happening and thought it was F'd up that the coaches weren't saying anything about it. Had I pointed the finger at the center, the "punishment" would have been much worse, no water, run 2-3 miles in full pads - because "there is no I in Team" and they would have said I was acting better than other players. So back to the incident (first major one, there were many through the years).

So I was down in my stance and the next thing I knew my heart felt like it was going to explode and I had the most intense pain in my arteries, veins, brain, nose, eyes, throat, left arm/shoulder, lower back, and especially my butt-hole/sphincter - and more place I can't recall b/c it happened so fast. The lineman coach (big tough guy with attitude) had walked up behind me and kicked me what seemed like as hard as he could right in my rosebud, starfish, cornhole (you get the just - anus) with the tip of his boot (he had on heavv work boots. I seriously thought i was having a heart attack and or stroke as I couldn't talk, think or move very well, and was very dizzy with throbbing heart pain. The reason for this is that there are 3 major arteries as well as 2 major nerves (and many smaller ones) is a major artery in the anus. Putting such immense force from an impact such as this sends blood pressure through the roof and people can actually die from this or have permanent heart problems afterwards (it is like a hear attack (severe, moderate or mild) and since this incident I have had heart palpitations and abnormal beats at times, and many other related issue but no time to cover that. I was gasping for breath and holding my chest while I was being berated by the coaches and a few "teammates" so I had to slink off to a corner and try to compose myself with a little water.

That was one of the worst cases and every year when the posters go up around town for the players, I go through this all over again and I get extremely angry and fantasize about some great harm befalling him and maybe his family (mainly him, possibly some minor problems for family)..

There is probably about 10 more full length pistons I could tell about what I went through and I'm not being some "snowflake" - the exact opposite. I pushed until I broke because I was too scared not to do that, I never would have lived it down had I acted that way.

I'm sure there are many stories out there similar but different. Maybe coaches made students take steroids or told them they were "vitamins" or "supplements" when in fact they were hard core anabolics - which has led to severe medical issues (sometimes for life) because proper precautions weren't taken b/c they didn't' know they were on steroids!.

So, if there is a harassment/bullying "MeToo" then this is a fraction of mine.

I would really like to go up to the new head coach (the guy who kicked me got job 2-4 years ago) after a game while all the players, reporters (radio and news) and fans surround him and ask him if he still has a problem controlling his temperature when it comes to his players and if he still assaults them when he is displeased with them (I'd figure something more matriculate). After the game when everyone is gathered around, there are lots of people recording video (5-10 local/regional news channels) and 8-20 independent journalists plus the hundreds of fans that are filming. So I'm sure I would get some kind of response from the journalists if not the coach (I'm sure he would dismiss me and say I'm not worth remembering). I'd like to tell all other players that they need to report things and somehow get the message out. The only thing is that I think I would be a target in town (oh well, not like I had friends here anyway). If this bick is still acting violently then he needs to be fired and I know the coaches protect their own, especially with winning coaches.

I'm open to any suggestions on how to handle this. I feel like this might be a reason I'm still hear (on earth) and at least in this town - something that needs dealt with. Had I acted 10-20 years earlier one of use would probably not have walked away (or anywhere ever again) from that confrontation had I pursued it - but with the perspective of time, I'm not so angry but more concerned that he may do the same to other children.

I know at the time I was really scared to even mention this to anyone in the school. Had I reported this and the coach(s) got in trouble (either of them) I would bet good money that I would have been severely beaten, run off the road, and lots of other creative stuff - maybe found in a car trunk out in the middle of the woods and all kinds of sick stuff - even though I was born in the town and parents were born ~10-15 miles away, we were about as outsiders as one could get (even being same race/color/size/shape/etc). I was also scared or repercussions towards my sister & family, so that really scared me as well.

I actually had a police officer tell me "They'll get me before I get out of here" about 2 months after getting my license before I had ever sped or broken a law. I had been in an accident where a "mentally challenged" driver 1 grade older than me did a left turn when I was about 20 ft from him, so I T'd him - but I was ruled 50% at fault b/c the cop was a bick - this was about 18 months before I was assaulted by the coach.

They need to check Colins coach. Something had to be done inappropriate for him to grow his hair like that. Sign of trauma.

I will be that guy.

IMHO

Sounds like you were not as popular as a kid as you thought that you should be. So it had to other people’s fault.

a reply to: SocratesJohnson

Sounds like you were not as popular as a kid as you thought that you should be. So it had to other people’s fault.

You sound like an idiot.

a reply to: DigginFoTroof

Unfortunately this is the problem with these "MeToo" movements.
Too much time has passed and you didn't feel the need to report it at the time so...

What should the penalty be for a claim that's 20 years old and without evidence?

I only played one year of highschool football. Freshman year wide receiver.
After that I decided I wasnt going to be a tackling dummy and destroy my body for some neanderthal coach.
To this day it still amazes me how athletes are treated in schools. Some athletes anyway. My daughter was suspended for a game because the jv coach felt disrespected by her in practice.

I know of a couple that got caught with a vape in school. The girl was suspended for 1/4 of the volleyball season. The boy was given a month of Saturday detention but was allowed to play linebacker.
Wonder how that worded?

As to your case, well it's to late...
Looking back you should have gone to the police and filed charges. Maybe talk to the superintendent first as a courtesy.

Hindsight....

TLDR...

I call BS.... This is your forum? Great Handle really adds to the credibility...

a reply to: DigginFoTroof

a reply to: DigginFoTroof

If this bick is still acting violently then he needs to be fired and I know the coaches protect their own, especially with winning coaches.

Find out where he is working and write a letter to his boss explaining what he did to you back then and the problem may still exist and he should be watched.

If that is not an option, then starting a similar #metoo movement for assaults from coaches, trainers etc. would be a good idea to break the silence and create a place for those that are helpless and scared to relate their experiences.

originally posted by: DigginFoTroof
I'm open to any suggestions on how to handle this. I feel like this might be a reason I'm still hear (on earth) and at least in this town - something that needs dealt with.

The best way to handle this is to stop crying over spilt milk.
You've got to get over it.

Delusions of grandeur about being the one to deal with it after 20 years as your sole purpose in life is the scariest thing you've brought up.

To be honest it sounds like you're already trying to justify turning the gun on yourself after you've "dealt" with the issue.

The bottom line is people are mean and you're not going to change that.
Hell, you're wishing "great harm" or "minor problems" on innocent people just for being related to this guy.
You're mean too.

The best advice I could give is to take your detailed knowledge of the anus, move out of town and have some fun.
You've still got a chance to prove that cop wrong.

originally posted by: DigginFoTroof
I actually had a police officer tell me "They'll get me before I get out of here" about 2 months after getting my license before I had ever sped or broken a law. I had been in an accident where a "mentally challenged" driver 1 grade older than me did a left turn when I was about 20 ft from him, so I T'd him - but I was ruled 50% at fault b/c the cop was a bick - this was about 18 months before I was assaulted by the coach.

I don't get how this is relevant. Did they know you were going to get kicked in the ass prior to you getting kicked in the ass and wanted to send a preemptive message?