posted on Sep, 11 2018 @ 02:57 PM
OK, I have my laptop back... Here's the whole scoop:
The night it happened, I had gone to the shop for the day... Well, not really the "whole day"... more like four hours. As soon as I got out there my
left shoulder started hurting (it was never a chest pain with me; it was always shoulder pain, even from two years ago. Anyway, I'm walking home when
the chest starts in during the 50 yards, more of less, of yard between the two. Now I'm getting worried! I get inside, huffing and puffing, an
collapse in my recliner. Of curse, my wife is there with cold water (my first line of defense), but it doesn't help. I went right y the aspirin and to
the Nitro pills. A nitro pill didn't stop the pain. So I asked her to call for paramedics.
I'm not real sure why, but no one seemed to question that maybe, just maybe, I was having something else. Nope, everyone is sure it's a heart attack,
so off we go screaming and tying up traffic between here and Huntsville, not to mention aggravating every damn pothole known to mankind in this corner
of the universe.
We get there and yeah, I have another damn heart attack! It's at least a mild one this time, so they set me up in a room to talk with other surgeons
since most of the ones I know aren't there. So I am meeting with Butler about my cardioscopy and Washburn to handle the surgery. There's still a
slight question as to whether I am eligible for open heart bypass surgery.
Then Cash comes back, and thankfully Butler is gone. The very last thing he does is to try one last desperate attempt to talk me out of having the
bypass... which, I am glad he did not. I was in pretty bad need of it. I think he was trying to talk me into having it, but the mood he already had me
in was having the opposite effect.
So now we wait until Holden can schedule the surgery... the following Friday. That's when this subject broached the boundaries of the vast unknowns
that lay beyond the extents of ATS as we know them.
During surgery, they did several things... they put in a Borg Implant that came up out of my neck and had something to do with the anesthetic. They
shaved me... all of me... head to big toe. The part about neck to big toe I didn't mind... nice looking nurses... but my beard? The one no one has
seen me without in almost 40 years (longer than I have been married)? That's a bit too much! I look like a pervert escapee from a Jeff Foxworthy
look-alike contest and criminally insane asylum!
So OK, OK, they shave me, install this Borg Implant thingamabob, remove my sense of humor and install it backwards, destroy my sense of self-esteem,
permanently draw several stitched lines on various parts of my anatomy, permanently implant "kick me!" signs on my backside, and probably do a lot
more. Then they pached the five clogged pipes and wheel me out into public traffic.
... where my wife and son sees me lying there; Borg Implants and all, including lifeless, and they trip out and got out to his house to retreat from
the coming rise of the redneck zombie... taking my glasses with them.
The rest of what I posted is true: 4 broke ribs that are making it hard for me to walk (except the doc royally PISSED OFF A REDNECK a while ago, and
now the ribs are cowering behind the backbone just trying to stay out of sight....
As it stands now, I can be out by Thursday, assuming I have a bowel movement and keep flashing everyone from walking the halls in a open-backed
I'll let it be Thursday.
Nice to hear everyone's well-wishes! Thank you all!