TheRedneck needs some love...

originally posted by: TheRedneck
I'm on a cell right now, but I'll have my laptop back tomorrow. In the meantime... I have 4 broke ribs, I am unable to eat, I need a cigarette, and the doctors think I'm crazy. In other words, I'm fine.

Turned out to be a quintuple bypass.

TheRedneck

I'll fight with you later.

Glad he's relatively okay! Sounds rough! Hang in there man.

OK, I have my laptop back... Here's the whole scoop:

The night it happened, I had gone to the shop for the day... Well, not really the "whole day"... more like four hours. As soon as I got out there my left shoulder started hurting (it was never a chest pain with me; it was always shoulder pain, even from two years ago. Anyway, I'm walking home when the chest starts in during the 50 yards, more of less, of yard between the two. Now I'm getting worried! I get inside, huffing and puffing, an collapse in my recliner. Of curse, my wife is there with cold water (my first line of defense), but it doesn't help. I went right y the aspirin and to the Nitro pills. A nitro pill didn't stop the pain. So I asked her to call for paramedics.

I'm not real sure why, but no one seemed to question that maybe, just maybe, I was having something else. Nope, everyone is sure it's a heart attack, so off we go screaming and tying up traffic between here and Huntsville, not to mention aggravating every damn pothole known to mankind in this corner of the universe.

We get there and yeah, I have another damn heart attack! It's at least a mild one this time, so they set me up in a room to talk with other surgeons since most of the ones I know aren't there. So I am meeting with Butler about my cardioscopy and Washburn to handle the surgery. There's still a slight question as to whether I am eligible for open heart bypass surgery.

Then Cash comes back, and thankfully Butler is gone. The very last thing he does is to try one last desperate attempt to talk me out of having the bypass... which, I am glad he did not. I was in pretty bad need of it. I think he was trying to talk me into having it, but the mood he already had me in was having the opposite effect.

So now we wait until Holden can schedule the surgery... the following Friday. That's when this subject broached the boundaries of the vast unknowns that lay beyond the extents of ATS as we know them.

During surgery, they did several things... they put in a Borg Implant that came up out of my neck and had something to do with the anesthetic. They shaved me... all of me... head to big toe. The part about neck to big toe I didn't mind... nice looking nurses... but my beard? The one no one has seen me without in almost 40 years (longer than I have been married)? That's a bit too much! I look like a pervert escapee from a Jeff Foxworthy look-alike contest and criminally insane asylum!

So OK, OK, they shave me, install this Borg Implant thingamabob, remove my sense of humor and install it backwards, destroy my sense of self-esteem, permanently draw several stitched lines on various parts of my anatomy, permanently implant "kick me!" signs on my backside, and probably do a lot more. Then they pached the five clogged pipes and wheel me out into public traffic.

... where my wife and son sees me lying there; Borg Implants and all, including lifeless, and they trip out and got out to his house to retreat from the coming rise of the redneck zombie... taking my glasses with them.

The rest of what I posted is true: 4 broke ribs that are making it hard for me to walk (except the doc royally PISSED OFF A REDNECK a while ago, and now the ribs are cowering behind the backbone just trying to stay out of sight....

As it stands now, I can be out by Thursday, assuming I have a bowel movement and keep flashing everyone from walking the halls in a open-backed gown.

I'll let it be Thursday.

Nice to hear everyone's well-wishes! Thank you all!

TheRedneck

a reply to: TheRedneck


So you're okay then? Physically. Mentally I can see you may need a further tune up.

a reply to: TheRedneck

So....are the surgeons and doctors involved receiving the necessary mental care after having to deal with TheRedneck?

Get well soon!!

Peace

a reply to: TheRedneck

Now I can tell you are OK and in typical Redneck form. Have pity on the doctors and nurses.

I can't point this out strongly enough, stay away from the green Jello. Get well soon my friend.

a reply to: TheRedneck

Welcome back TR! Glad to hear you are doing better, everyone is pulling for you

Speedy recovery

a reply to: Blaine91555

Now I can tell you are OK and in typical Redneck form.

Green jello.....

Arrrrrggghhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!

TheRedneck

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

I'm fine. The mental part... we're all a little flimsy on that one.

a reply to: operation mindcrime

So....are the surgeons and doctors involved receiving the necessary mental care after having to deal with TheRedneck?[/

We cans only hopes.

TheRedneck

Glad to see they refilled your veins with the OEM vinegar, Red, they usually use blood!

I am confused though. Breaking ribs isn’t a normal part of the CABG procedure, at least not when I had mine.

Did someone try CPR on you, or did Mrs. Redneck just get a bit possessive when she hugged to back to the land of the onerey?

originally posted by: TheRedneck
I'm fine. The mental part... we're all a little flimsy on that one.

Tell me about it. Glad to see you back on the boards.

You are absolutely amazing dear Redneck.
So glad your doing so well, (sorry about the ribs!) and making us all laugh, after everything you've been through.

Who cares if the docs suffer a bit in dealing with you, right? They got you fixed up, let the next patient worry about their mental state. LOL

a reply to: TheRedneck

Just remember, slow and steady wins the race. Try to do too much, and bad things could happen.

Don't none of us want that goin' on, my brother.

I'll freely admit, it's so good to see you back on the boards. Place wouldn't be the same without you.

originally posted by: TheRedneck
They shaved me... all of me... head to big toe. The part about neck to big toe I didn't mind... nice looking nurses... but my beard? The one no one has seen me without in almost 40 years (longer than I have been married)? That's a bit too much! I look like a pervert escapee from a Jeff Foxworthy look-alike contest and criminally insane asylum!

God help me for what i'm about to say here....

Pics or it didn't happen

a reply to: Bhadhidar

Glad to see they refilled your veins with the OEM vinegar, Red, they usually use blood!

They didn't have a choice... my body rejected the normal stuff! (Seriously, I did have two units of transfusion a couple days after surgery.... never said why. I was just happy they didn't want to stick me with another damn needle to transfuse it!)

I am confused though. Breaking ribs isn’t a normal part of the CABG procedure, at least not when I had mine.

I hadn't heard of it being common either.... all I know is I went into the operating room discussing how my shoulder felt and woke up wondering where all these broken ribs came from!

TheRedneck

a reply to: seagull

Just remember, slow and steady wins the race. Try to do too much, and bad things could happen.

Bah, humbug.

A single lap around the recovery floor is longer than across my yard to my shop, and I'm handling that fine. I'll be tired when i get to my shop, yes, but here's a Helpful Hint from Heloise: it's a shop!

In other words, I'll be fine. I have a brand-new walker if I need it, accessibility within the range I can walk now, and plenty of land to walk beside the road on for exercise.

TheRedneck

a reply to: JohnnyAnonymous

I called God. He didn't say "no," He said
"HELL FIRE AND DESTRUCTION, NO! I ALREADY LET YOU HEAR HIM SING BUT YOU COULDN'T LEARN FROM THAT TORTURE? NEVER! EVER! UNDER ANY CONDITIONS IN ANY UNIVERSE YOU MIGHT SERIOUSLY CONSIDER SPENDING TIME IN OR MIGHT SOMEDAY CONSIDER SPENDING TIME IN ANOTHER ONE CLOSE ENOUGH TO VISIT!

TheRedneck

a reply to: TheRedneck

ummm. So, that's a definite no, right?

C'mon!! An exfoliated Redneck would be amusing to your friends, and after all........ that's what's important, now that you're safe, my brother.

Saaaaaaay, is that walker gas powered yet?

I had no doubt you'd make it through it fine. You'll be out by Thursday, a heart attack won't keep you down for long.

a reply to: TheRedneck

Wow, great write up! LOL

So good to see everything is ok and you retained your sense of humor. Welcome home!