Curveball with DBCowboy

In keeping with the tradition set with my Russian handler colleague on ATS Augustus, I present to you an interview schedule with celebrities that we all know.

My sources range far and wide and I decided to utilize my contacts to develop a series of interviews.

The first one is with a lady we all know and love, Mother Nature.

Let's begin. . . .

DB: Good morning! Thank you for sitting with me today.

MN: I have a few moments, ask your stupid questions!

DB: Uh, okay. I sense hostility. Mind telling me and my readers why?

MN: Look, I can forgive the drilling, the fracking, the pollution, the waste. But Lawn Darts? Really?

DB: You mention pollution, are you saying we are actually responsible for global warming?

MN: It's a heat flash. Not global warming. You get to be my age and things get wonky.

DB: It's been speculated that you are either aged 6,000 years to 4 billion. Mind telling our readers how old you actually are?

(It was at this point where Mother Nature stood up and took off the mic and said the interview was over. After some promises and a cup of estogen she finally agreed to sit back down)

DB: Have you ever thought of getting married? Or are you married?

MN: Jupiter and I had a thing for a while but then Saturn got involved and Jupiter put a ring on it. I hate that bitch!

DB: What is your favorite species on the planet?

MN: I'd have to say the dinosaurs and then 3-toes sloths.

DB: Where do humans rank in your personal list of favorites?

MN: About last. It wasn't always the case, but when your species cancelled Firefly things went downhill fast.

DB: Okay, some easy questions. Favorite movie?

MN: Iron Man III

DB: Favorite band and/or musician?

MN: Perry Como.

DB: Final question. If you were a tree, what kind would you be?

MN: You're an idiot. I'm done.




Well, there you have it! The first in what should be a sterling series of edge-of-your-seat interviews.


Please visit me again next week when I interview an historical despot!

Thank you for reading.

a reply to: DBCowboy

I know you're doing it for stars&flags but my tablet won't let me give you one. Slut.
At least you're funny.

a reply to: Peeple




Thanks!

a reply to: DBCowboy

I gave you a star and flag for trying.Maybe later I will
make you some smmies and cookies.I did like the
interview and it was amusing.

a reply to: DBCowboy

Hilarious! Thanks for the laughs!

keep up the good work
it's great to know the nsa still uses their hardware portals
love u guys xx

You didn't ask her how much cosmetic surgery she's had?

I mean, I drive by those big strip mines all the time. Surely she's having at least a face lift to erase some canyons or something.

a reply to: DBCowboy


Good god man, what's with all the softball questions?

Did you cup her balls like the ladies on the view fondled obamas during his interview?

Put some pressure on, get to the truth!

originally posted by: ZIPMATT

next week

dont start a career in comedy ....please

Okay.

I want to know whats at her center. Any chance you can interview Aquaman next? I want to know what it's like to breathe underwater.

ETA

Great post by the way. Don't let the hater's get to you. I sense jellyness.

a reply to: DBCowboy. So, did she have nice boobs? I've often thought of her as having quite perky ones, kinda like those 1960's pointy ones but not so stabby.

a reply to: DBCowboy
That´s it...

I call for lawn dart control!!! Those are deadly pointed weapons and we need to take them out of the hands of criminals normal people ASAP!!

Everybody chant with me:

Lawn dart control!
Lawn dart control!
Lawn dart control!
Lawn dart control!

a reply to: weirdguy


She was stacked, it was hard not to stare.

a reply to: DBCowboy

Intriguing interview!
Perchance is Father Time on your queue of forthcoming interviews?
I have a few bones to pick with that dude!

a reply to: GeauxHomeYoureDrunk

No! Clearly it's an interview with a vampire.

originally posted by: ketsuko
a reply to: GeauxHomeYoureDrunk

No! Clearly it's an interview with a vampire.

That might do, actually.
Somehow vampires have figured out Father Time's "loopholes"!

NEVER ask a lady about her age.

otherwise good job.

I can see headline in Galactic Enquirer; 'Mother Earth Feuds with 'Slut' Saturn'!

a reply to: DBCowboy

Great interview, DB.
Can't wait for your next one!

a reply to: IAMTAT

I vaguely recall that Bat Boy was in the White House at one point.

I smell a dishtastic tell-all there ...

originally posted by: ketsuko
a reply to: IAMTAT

I vaguely recall that Bat Boy was in the White House at one point.

I smell a dishtastic tell-all there ...

Indeed he was.
DB could also devote an entire thread to his time as Maxine Waters' Cabana Boy.