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I need a foot, or a boot, up the backside.

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posted on Sep, 2 2018 @ 12:22 PM
I think especially men mourn the loss of male friendships.

It is heartbreaking, stressful, and can occupy all your thoughts.

Not sure, maybe it's still a team conditioning from my youth - a band of brothers type thing.

But the fact is not everybody feels it the same way (and they might have a female, or something else to occupy their thoughts).

But the truth is, some phases in life end abruptly.

My advice is to start searching for new buddies as soon as possible, maybe something like gym or sport, or a pub with people your age. It really helps.

It happened to me beginning of last year, and now three dudes and two women are gone because of one perpetually jealous female (although used to hang with her brother, and he was similarly unstable - I think it's a family thing with them). Do I really feel like apologizing, because she drove me to speak my mind? No ways. I won't allow myself to be abused like that for nothing anymore. Unfortunately I can't see my bro anymore either, because he's married to her.
Phases in life can end abruptly, best to set a new one in motion.

As for Facebook, beware, it's a very mixed blessing.
People we lost contact with for a decade, there's usually a reason, probably not going to be rekindled again.
But there is usually a shining light of real friendship, just negative people suck up so much of our energy, it takes a long time to spot it.
edit on 2-9-2018 by halfoldman because: (no reason given)

posted on Sep, 2 2018 @ 01:06 PM
a reply to: halfoldman

On second thoughts, apart from what I consider the jealous fish-wife (and he's also a bit of a dufus):
Anyway, he lost his job a few years back so now she's earning the bacon and exactly the same gender abuse I saw as a kid when men earned the money, I saw in reverse.
He misses his bros (alone all day playing computer games), so at a music festival, me and him go to the autobank and get my wine, and when we walked back she starts screaming hysterically that the place is "full of whores", and she's not stupid. Meanwhile I thought she wanted to see the band. But apparently she's done it to all his friends. Get home, unfriended on Facebook - it was astounding, because we never did anything wrong.
But I figured, nope, not going to be in this dysfunction anymore.
A pity, but that's the way it is.

Best line I ever heard in church when I still used to go decades ago: "Go where you are celebrated, not where you are tolerated!"

But lo and behold, checked on Facebook, and most of those people aren't friends with them anymore either.
The one dude came down with Parkinsons, so maybe the real reason I haven't seen him and his wife for months, and the other lady lost her job, and with a teenage son, they probably can't afford to go out.
Besides, nobody wants to drive at night anymore, and the best spot is closest to home.

In my fury at her freak-out that night (over absolutely nothing) I did leave a message on his phone (it was supposed to be for him only, but he obviously told her, he's also a two-face, and said: " How's the bitch?"). Do I regret saying it? Nope, not one little bit. Don't think that made a difference really anyway. Although now that's the way they twist it - I called her a "bitch". Well honey, you act like that and what do you expect? People are going to call you a saint? But then a few weeks earlier she got a whole bunch of people thrown out of a strip-club, and poured a beer over her husband's head during a lap-dance (apparently a bottle got thrown too, but luckily I wasn't there that night).
I began to wonder whether she is organizing strip clubs and music festivals just so she can get hysterical and seek attention. Like it's pre-planned. No thanks - I'm out of the game.

Very upsetting, but long-term, I think it was for the best.
Adieu my bro, phone me when you're back with mum, or find another wife.

edit on 2-9-2018 by halfoldman because: (no reason given)

posted on Sep, 2 2018 @ 01:47 PM
But I've realized I too have changed, and so have the times.

The popular philosophies have changed - I mean a lot on YouTube now on how to recognize and avoid toxic people, how to not care very much about Facebook, or on masculinity ideas.

Except for my mum, I must honestly say, I don't care much anymore about what women think (nor the men embroiled with them), only my bros.
I realize that woman too is under stress and strain with an unemployed husband, and a social role she was never raised for. But flip, I didn't marry them.
I thank God for that every day.

Not to disrespect women on a normal basis, and a total reversal of my twenties (then I hated heterosexual men).

But my safe space these days is a male space.
My first thought after her drama and histrionics - can't wait to be in the locker-room tomorrow evening, watch some football and rugby.
A safe space for me - a male space.
Everybody calm and chilled.

It seems whatever you do these days as a male in mixed company is wrong, and at a point you just want to withdraw.

edit on 2-9-2018 by halfoldman because: (no reason given)

posted on Sep, 3 2018 @ 03:00 AM
a reply to: SummerRain

Thank you so much for your kind words! That really touched me. I am so sorry to hear that your heart has been broken by the woman you loved so deeply. That is a pain that run deeps.

You write with such eloquence, so beautifully, you deserve writers status! Maybe write some stories, poetry or prose. Write to express all that you are feeling and thinking through those. I would love to see what you would come up with!

posted on Sep, 3 2018 @ 03:11 AM
you dont have to say you are sorry if you are that much scared. I dont have the amount of anger to knock you off your fear.

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