The American way to fight terrorism

The scary part is the site is real ........

The US government has a new website, www.ready.gov.... It's another attempt at scare mongering in the style of the old "duck and cover" advice after WWII.

The fun thing is that these pictures are so ambiguous they could mean anything! Here are a few interpretations.


If you have set yourself on fire, do not run



If you spot terrorism, blow your anti-terrorism whistle. If you are Vin Diesel, yell really loud.


If you spot a terrorist arrow, pin it against the wall with your shoulder


If you are sprayed with an unknown substance, stand and think about it instead of seeing a doctor.


Use your flashlight to lift the walls right off of you!



The proper way to eliminate smallpox is to wash with soap, water and at least one(1) armless hand.


Michael Jackson is a terrorist. If you spot this smooth criminal with dead, dead eyes, run the # away.


Hurricanes, animal corpses and the biohazard symbol have a lot in common. Think about it.


Be on the lookout for terrorists with pinkeye and leprosy. Also, they tend to rub their hands together manically.


If a door is closed, karate chop it open.


If your building collapses, give yourself a blowjob while waiting to be rescued.


Try to absorb as much of the radiation as possible with your groin region. After 5 minutes and 12 seconds, however, you may become sterile


After exposure to radiation it is important to consider that you may have mutated to gigantic dimensions: watch your head.


If you've become a radiation mutant with a deformed hand, remember to close the window. No one wants to see that #.


-- If you hear the Backstreet Boys, Michael Bolton or Yanni on the radio, cower in the corner or run like hell.


If your lungs and stomach start talking, stand with your arms akimbo until they stop.



If you are trapped under falling debris, conserve oxygen by not farting.


If you lose a contact lens during a chemical attack, do not stop to look for it.


Do not drive a stations wagon if a power pole is protruding from the hood.


-- A one-inch thick piece of plywood should be sufficient protection against radiation.

Deep

dude that was great!

i think william had an avatar with a few of these a while back, this stuff is great!!!

Thats pretty good Zero.

Ain't it amazing how many find it hilarious to joke about America so often? I know...its the 'cool' thing to do.



regards
seekerof

[Edited on 4-7-2003 by Seekerof]

Meanwhile Canada is currently decomissioning its Navy. What is Canada's plan? Terrorists hate Canada's decadent lifestyle just as much as America's. Canada is really isolationist right now. Oh, well. Where do I get one of these terrorism whistles? HaHa.

that was ghastly correct & humorous, to say the least about the creativity. As a nation, hadn't we already been fighting this terrorism bug: JFK and the Cubans, Nixon and the Chinese, Reagan and the Sandinistas? The list is longer than a bisexual parade at a prince turned 'the artist' gathering.

Why, rhetorically, was a super spy-agency created called "Homeland Security" when we already have currently, seperate, 11/13/15 intelligence agencies in the Office of Defense Intelligence? Some call it fighting terrorism, others call it a mop up or clean up operation for failed diplomacy - moreover, the failure of those elected to power. As Americans, we have used more leaded gasoline than anyone else. Now that gasoline is unleaded - where did all the lead from the exhaust pipes go? Into Americans. perhaps this is why Americans are received as a bit docile when appraoched about the environment, frightening when challanged about the veracity of its principles and aggressive - and we as americans can't figure it out. It's like questioning a retarded child about the cause of his malady?

People call themselves Americans for some of the oddest and least probable casual connected reasons. But it is Americans who strike fear into citizens around rthe world. And soon, when the last remnant of people oriented goverments succumbs to profit driven corporate entities, anyone who stands in the way of profit will be branded a terrorist, a criminal, a weapon of mass destruction. The presidencey has at its disposal more than 9 specialized and secretive laboratories dedicated tot he nation. It has the Acadamy of Sciences which was created to advise the presidency on matters. even while America was wrestling between petro cubusiotn vs. water combustion back in Henry Ford's day - several technologies could have been implemented - and were dry-docked to accomodate the petro-chemical industry instead. who says the love of money can't buy money - and congress, and the presidency? Is this country such a wily-nilly basket case that it cannot implement technology it has had at its disposal for decades? And some fo you babble about terrorism like some side note to a larger more disturbing picture of the result of foreign policy and the acquisition of resources from around the world. terrorism? that's what we call it when it happens to us. Americans do not have a reciprocal reasoning facility - the leaded gas nutated it out of us as a nation.

America as taught to its school children is suppose to be this enlightened democratic beacon to all the world. What has happened to all those childhood promises we were sold? When will America live up to its founding promises if it is doling out frontier justice in its fight on terrorism, instead of gutting and crippling the infrastructure of goverment by the people by dismantling public education, public services and public safety nets for its citizens?

The thread that runs through this notion of conspiracy is really nothing more illusive than a will to satiate the self - above all and at any cost. if the academic model in America psychology schools is the will to happiness, why does the German model for the 'will to power' actually dominate? It is more human condition and human nature to enslave our brothers and our sisters, than a conspiracy. it is nothing more secretive or older than the hundreds of references of self corruption and destruction contained in history - throughout the ages.

terrorism?