Reward system in schools

Maybe the video game method of school isn't the best. Some reward is good but it should not be required to keep a norm.

a reply to: ketsuko
You are preaching to the converted, I never got angry as a parent, I always spoke and explained. My young adult householder son is now my closest friend, and he knows if I say something I mean it.
Tho OP was moaning that they suffer problems because of the reward system at school. If the OP can't say to the child "Tough luck, my house, my rules" then that indicates a total lack of control for whatever reason. I wouldn't even entertain the argument to start with, I expect good behaviour with no extra gifts and benefits for it.
If you think bribing kids to be good is the way to go then good luck, I think it is a sign of weak parenting though.
Opinions is all, we are likely to never find agreement, same with the others who disagree with me.

originally posted by: DanDanDat

originally posted by: CornishCeltGuy
a reply to: DanDanDat

I'll repeat it again as I passionately believe it, if any parent makes a threat and then fails to follow through with it they are weak and the child will see thak weakness immediately.
What would you call it if it is not a sign of weakness then?
Kids exploit weak parents and I see little scrotes like that all the time because the parents are weak.
They deserve everything they get because a parent should be the strong one seeing as they provide ultimate care.
Friends and negotiation with kids, sheesh, what has the world become, no wonder there are so many entitled snowflakes in the world.

I'd say the way you are describing things is too simplistic.

Sure there are "week" parents out there who let there kids walk all over them and those kids take full advantage. Just like you I've encountered those kids and parents out and about... their usely the kids for example who cut in line in front of my behaved kids ... and since they are kids I can't do anything about it except tell my own kids to stick up for themselves... which involves telling them to do things I would not allow under normal circumstances... which is confusing to them... so I feel your pain when it comes to these parents.

But there are many different stop points between those parents and your prescribed parenting style. It's not ether or, it's not black and white.

The systematic reward system that started this conversation is not the issue with those parents and kids who go around terrorizing people. And can be a valuable tool if used constantly and for the right things.

Good points, didn't deserve to be lost at the bottom of the last page.


I actually miss being a parent in that style of dependent child, best job of my life and I loved every day of it. These days my son could throw me over his shoulder and carry me home lol...I miss holding hands when he was a little boy, but I love bumping into each other on our walk home from the pub.

I might sound grumpy in my posts sometimes but meh, my best wishes to all people doing their thing trying to raise your kids, they are our future.

originally posted by: mblahnikluver
Who the hell do you think you are??? Where did I say I give in or even remotely let him do what he wants? I didn't. I said I don't agree with rewarding behavior a child should just do! I think it's stupid and just shows kids they will get something if they're good. You're not rewarded in life so why should kids be coddled nowadays?!

My son knows the rules at home. He can try all he wants to get prizes at home it won't fly!

I hate the American eduction system. It sucks.

Welll the teachers dont teach anymore for one. they also recite from textbooks because they are usually too stupid to actually know the material.
School i s just how society sorts out the good law abiding morons/sheep and the free thinkers who the government thinks are bad.

This "treasure box" reward system in the OP explains how some millenials I've managed at work expect a bonus or reward after every project they finish and then get all twisted in the panties when it doesn't happen

a reply to: kaylaluv

The house is your prize!

That's my whole point! That's exactly what I'm saying. They don't send you a box of chocolates...because you already got your prize!!

It should be the same way in school. Your prize is staying out of the principal's office, or out of detention, or out of having to get swats from the wrestling coach. That's your prize...and you already have it!

That's the whole point.

a reply to: toysforadults

I get your point but we are still talking about kindergarten. You can go all military on them if you wish but kindergarten aged children are more likely to test boundaries and especially if their in cahoots with their little classmates. That was the point I was making. Perhaps I should have said "more difficult" than "quite difficult".

a reply to: Fehrie

I smell a reality show in the making!!!

Boot Camp for Tots - "You WILL call me SIR!", the final smackdown

The Drill Instructors will be these old, retired, geezer "Get off my Lawn!" types, getting right up in the kids faces and shouting at them to make their damn beds properly and learn how to march double-time.

"You listen to me, you little pathetic excuse for a gerbil...when I was your age I was double-timing it to the chow-hall through 8 feet of snow with a smile on my face because I just greased 16 gooks outside the wire on patrol and it wasn't even breakfast yet!!! DO-YOU-HEAR-ME, MAGGOT????"

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

You colored outside the line! Drop and give me 20!

originally posted by: Ahabstar
a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

You colored outside the line! Drop and give me 20!

Gosh, you are lenient! The cage in the cellar for 20 days maybe if I was in a benevolent mood.

a reply to: Ahabstar

LOL! Yep...

"You WILL lay down and take a nap after your milk and graham crackers, you skinny headed little flap of extra skin, OR, I will separate that soft boiled egg for a head from your shoulders like a parasite and MAKE-YOU-TAKE-PERMANENT-NAP-BEHIND-THE-JUNGLE-GYM!! DO-YOU-UNDERSTAND-ME????"

ETA - Oh this has got Emmy written ALL over it!!!

My daughter was renowned for being the strictest parent among her two

children's friends and parents.

However she recently felt vindicated in her stance, when her grown son said

to her "You think you were strict with us? well I intend to be more strict then

you were when I have children."

originally posted by: Flyingclaydisk
a reply to: Fehrie

I smell a reality show in the making!!!

Boot Camp for Tots - "You WILL call me SIR!", the final smackdown

The Drill Instructors will be these old, retired, geezer "Get off my Lawn!" types, getting right up in the kids faces and shouting at them to make their damn beds properly and learn how to march double-time.

"You listen to me, you little pathetic excuse for a gerbil...when I was your age I was double-timing it to the chow-hall through 8 feet of snow with a smile on my face because I just greased 16 gooks outside the wire on patrol and it wasn't even breakfast yet!!! DO-YOU-HEAR-ME, MAGGOT????"

Okay that literally made me laugh. Thank you for that ˙˚ʚ(´◡`)ɞ˚˙

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

Yes, but sometimes, having a goal to work toward motivates some kids who may not care as much if they already have their prize of not having negative attention. And for some kids, sadly, negative attention is all they get, so that *is* their prize. So for those kids, earning a trip to the principal's office or swats from the wrestling coach is a *good* thing and not something to be avoided.

Sometimes, putting up that chart at the beginning of the year with a prize to be earned for every 10 books read or every 10 positive behavior cards filled, etc., might make a real difference and might motivate that competitive kid who needs those tangible markers to flip that switch and excel.