It looks like you're using an Ad Blocker.

Please white-list or disable AboveTopSecret.com in your ad-blocking tool.

Thank you.

 

Some features of ATS will be disabled while you continue to use an ad-blocker.

 

Reward system in schools

page: 3
14
<< 1  2    4 >>

log in

join
share:

posted on Aug, 25 2018 @ 09:49 AM
link   
a reply to: mblahnikluver

Sounds like a real life Loot Box.




posted on Aug, 25 2018 @ 09:51 AM
link   
a reply to: kaylaluv

I get your point but as a kid I remember the teachers that caught me and my classmates interest. You just wanted to listen because they made learning fun....

ETA: as a five year old I had Miss Geertvliet, the sweetest woman ever, like grandmother sweet (she was as old as a grandmother too). She was assisted by her hand puppet and we didn't have rewards. Everybody listened when she spoke...

Peace


edit on 2018pAmerica/ChicagoSat, 25 Aug 2018 10:00:56 -0500am310020188 by operation mindcrime because: (no reason given)



posted on Aug, 25 2018 @ 09:59 AM
link   
a reply to: kaylaluv

Okay, but when you make your house payment they don't send you a box of chocolates either!



posted on Aug, 25 2018 @ 10:15 AM
link   

originally posted by: Flyingclaydisk
a reply to: kaylaluv

Okay, but when you make your house payment they don't send you a box of chocolates either!



The house is your prize! When you do good at your work (which is what you are supposed to do), you get bonuses, raises, promotions. That’s your reward. Employers who refuse to reward usually have unhappy employees who lose interest and tend to leave for other jobs after a while. That’s the real world.



posted on Aug, 25 2018 @ 10:35 AM
link   
a reply to: kaylaluv

Poor comparison, employees are paid to do what is expected, that is the agreement.
A child should tidy their room because it is expected, no treats or bonuses for carrying out normal expected tasks.
As I said, I never had a problem, I always carried out my threats of punishment such as loss of luxuries.
If parents feel they have to bribe their kids to do expected chores or behave appropriately then they aren't actually parenting at all in my opinion - I'd say they are weak and deserve whatever defiance they get from their kids.



posted on Aug, 25 2018 @ 10:36 AM
link   
It sounds like the arguments here are conflating several different concepts.

1) being your kids "friends" .... I would agree this can go way to far. I was a daycare counsel in my 20s and inevitably the "bad" kids always had friends and not parents. There was this one set of twins that made this stand out for me; the mom was the friend and the dad tried to do his best to be the parent under the circumstance. I could always tell which one was going to pick them up at the end of the day based on their behavior.

2) Instently rewarding kids for normal behavior. As some have pointed out this is a relatively new concept. Although it started around 20 years ago with gen X parents. This can be very dangerous in behavior shaping because it creates behaviors that are instant and if you aren't completely consistent you start rewarding bad behavior as well as the good behavior. After that you get what you paid for.

3) Punitive punishment. Shamashing games or sending your kids to bed hungry. I'm glad that behavior worked out for all the people boosting about it in this thread ... but that's certainly not how I treat other human beings and certainly not my own children. I've seen way to many adults complain how they dislike their parents, who move away with seldom three words in a year between them and the common denominator is that their parents did not treat them with respect growing up. It might have worked out great for the few people in this thread but I won't be taking the gamble. My parents never acted that way with me and I grow up to be a model citizen... so I'm thinking its not a requirement... unless you get off treating people like that.

4) the long term reward system lamented on in the OP. It's been my experience (over several children) it's the best way to shape behavior for the positive. It creates a structured approach to good and even normal behavior. Kids aren't born knowing what is expected of them, and depending on their developmental age they may not even be able to perform the tasks that are expected of then. And there is also the need for president to be consistent. The long term reward system works great for taking all of these things into account.

Let's take something simple; bathroom training. Young children aren't born knowing they need to use the toilet; they don't know how to use the toilet; and it will take consistency on the part of the patients to get them to use the toilet properly.

Some here seem to be advocating that the best way to teach their kids to use the toilet is to rub their noses in their dirty dippers and yell at them until they listen and use the toilet.... yea good luck with that.

However a sticker chart, where they get a sticker every time they do it right, that builds up to a prize of some kind after a week or two of good behavior is the fastest way to get them bathroom trained.

Of course as they get older and the tasks become more complicated the reward system will become more complex; but the concept is the same... as I said in my first post, we adults have a long term reward system for doing normal and good behavior; it's called money. If we didn't need this system to make us do what we are supposed to do then we would be living in a socialist utopia... but we aren't are we.



posted on Aug, 25 2018 @ 10:38 AM
link   

originally posted by: CornishCeltGuy
a reply to: kaylaluv

Poor comparison, employees are paid to do what is expected, that is the agreement.
A child should tidy their room because it is expected, no treats or bonuses for carrying out normal expected tasks.
As I said, I never had a problem, I always carried out my threats of punishment such as loss of luxuries.
If parents feel they have to bribe their kids to do expected chores or behave appropriately then they aren't actually parenting at all in my opinion - I'd say they are weak and deserve whatever defiance they get from their kids.


You never actually explained why it's a poor comparison. Simply saying it is does not make it so.

I think it's a great comparison. Why am I wrong?



posted on Aug, 25 2018 @ 10:42 AM
link   

originally posted by: DanDanDat
Punitive punishment. Shamashing games or sending your kids to bed hungry. I'm glad that behavior worked out for all the people boosting about it in this thread ... but that's certainly not how I treat other human beings and certainly not my own children. I've seen way to many adults complain how they dislike their parents, who move away with seldom three words in a year between them and the common denominator is that their parents did not treat them with respect growing up. It might have worked out great for the few people in this thread but I won't be taking the gamble. My parents never acted that way with me and I grow up to be a model citizen... so I'm thinking its not a requirement... unless you get off treating people like that.

Worked perfect for me, and my son laughs about it now, so no need to be crying over any lost childhood lol.
Treat your kids like precious snowflakes if you like, whatever works for you.
And yep, I chuckled when I smashed the playstation up, I wasn't at all angry, just making a point that if I threaten something then I will carry it out.
Oh yes, that was an excellent lesson that day lol, but it ain't your thing so cool, opinions is all, you are no more right or wrong than I am, you just think you are.
EDIT
Good life lesson as well, if you don't meet your responsibilities with road/vehicle tax in the UK then the authorities crush your car. Same principle when I smashed the playstation. Behave and you reap the benefits...kids easily understand that.
edit on 25-8-2018 by CornishCeltGuy because: (no reason given)



posted on Aug, 25 2018 @ 10:46 AM
link   
a reply to: mblahnikluver

When I was in 2nd grade, we had a teacher who had a sticker chart. Every day we were good, we got a sticker. At the end of the chart, we could turn it in for some kind of reward. In those days, the rewards could be really cool like an extra recess or baking actual cookies with the teacher (the one the kids almost always chose).

For obvious reasons, you can't do things like that these days.

The school my son goes to has a similar rewards system to the one you describe except it goes across the entire school. Any teacher (or authority figure) carries a clump of small cards with stars and they can reward any kid who is following the school rules and showing the school values with a star card. Kids turn those in to their teachers who will stamp their star cards which can be turned in for rewards.

The 1st grade teacher did have a treasure box like you describe, but my son never connected it with rewards at home. We already have our own system of rewards for various things, some tangible, some not. For example, his hearing disorder makes it very, very heard for him to focus in a noisy environment, but tae kwon do practice is exactly that, so our reward is that if he can watch his instructor and keep focus on that across all three practices (one got too easy), we will celebrate by getting ice cream when we have our family time at the end of the week. When he gets to where three practices is easy, we'll move to a bigger challenge again.

It sounds to me like you need to have a talk with your son about how what happens at school stays at school unless he behaves so poorly or so spectacularly that it needs to follow him home. When he brings home his school rewards, he should get praised, but it's not an indication of needing to get something at home too.



posted on Aug, 25 2018 @ 10:48 AM
link   

originally posted by: CornishCeltGuy

originally posted by: DanDanDat
Punitive punishment. Shamashing games or sending your kids to bed hungry. I'm glad that behavior worked out for all the people boosting about it in this thread ... but that's certainly not how I treat other human beings and certainly not my own children. I've seen way to many adults complain how they dislike their parents, who move away with seldom three words in a year between them and the common denominator is that their parents did not treat them with respect growing up. It might have worked out great for the few people in this thread but I won't be taking the gamble. My parents never acted that way with me and I grow up to be a model citizen... so I'm thinking its not a requirement... unless you get off treating people like that.

Worked perfect for me, and my son laughs about it now, so no need to be crying over any lost childhood lol.
Treat your kids like precious snowflakes if you like, whatever works for you.
And yep, I chuckled when I smashed the playstation up, I wasn't at all angry, just making a point that if I threaten something then I will carry it out.
Oh yes, that was an excellent lesson that day lol, but it ain't your thing so cool, opinions is all, you are no more right or wrong than I am, you just think you are.


I would agree that I am "no more right or wrong than" you are. Parenting is a complex endeavor. And I'm glad it worked out for you the way you did it.... I'm not the one calling people week for doing things differently than I do.



posted on Aug, 25 2018 @ 10:54 AM
link   
a reply to: DanDanDat

I'll repeat it again as I passionately believe it, if any parent makes a threat and then fails to follow through with it they are weak and the child will see thak weakness immediately.
What would you call it if it is not a sign of weakness then?
Kids exploit weak parents and I see little scrotes like that all the time because the parents are weak.
They deserve everything they get because a parent should be the strong one seeing as they provide ultimate care.
Friends and negotiation with kids, sheesh, what has the world become, no wonder there are so many entitled snowflakes in the world.



posted on Aug, 25 2018 @ 10:57 AM
link   
a reply to: CornishCeltGuy

I think it's important to know that every child is different.

What might work with one kid, even your own, won't work with another because they're different and so are you and how you approach things.



posted on Aug, 25 2018 @ 10:57 AM
link   
I teach kids for a living. They love little prizes and recognition. IN fact positive reinforcement like that helps with behavior and motivation. The counter to that is there should also be negative consequences for bad behavior.

The problem as I see it with the OP is that you should lay down the law in your own house. It's your house, you're the parent. There are no treasure boxes at home. My kids had treasure boxes all through up to fifth grade. They still have to do chores at home, generally without an allowance or any reward system. They just know it's a part of life and they have to do it.

I don't have any problems at my house.



posted on Aug, 25 2018 @ 11:01 AM
link   
a reply to: ketsuko

Unless a child is on the spectrum or whatever they all can easily understand that failure to comply with a rule results in x or y toy being destroyed and thrown in the bin. You only need to do it once, kids are quick learners.
Or are you saying that kids will struggle to understand the concept of parent makes a threat, child makes wrong choice, and parent carries out threat.
Sorry, but only kids with educational special needs will fail to understand that.



posted on Aug, 25 2018 @ 11:03 AM
link   
When I was in school we behaved and learned what was being taught because it was what we were to do.

At some point a group, (parents or school officials?) allowed for this current nonsense of bribing and having kids dictate what they need to participate properly in school.



posted on Aug, 25 2018 @ 11:05 AM
link   

originally posted by: roadgravel
When I was in school we behaved and learned what was being taught because it was what we were to do.

At some point a group, (parents or school officials?) allowed for this current nonsense of bribing and having kids dictate what they need to participate properly in school.


I don't know, even 40 years ago when I was in elementary school we had stickers and special erasers and other rewards. I remember them



posted on Aug, 25 2018 @ 11:06 AM
link   
a reply to: roadgravel
I massively agree.
Some of the responses here I imagine there is little or no discipline and expectations regarding the kids.
"Oh little Johnny will cry if he loses that toy that you threatened to throw away if he didn't behave"
Tough # lil Johnny, I warned you and you made the choice, cry all day for all I care, I just expect good behaviour.



posted on Aug, 25 2018 @ 11:06 AM
link   
a reply to: roadgravel

Even with kids working hard to do what they're supposed to, they are that much more engaged if you catch them behaving and reward them for it somehow, praising them or giving them some form of positive recognition.

Modern video game makers hook people on positive feedback. It's all video games are.



posted on Aug, 25 2018 @ 11:13 AM
link   
a reply to: CornishCeltGuy

Oh please! Just because people here are saying it's more effective to work on positive feedback doesn't mean you don't discipline. It just means there are two sides to the discipline coin: positive and negative.

If you work the positive side well, you head off a lot of the negative need because kids like getting positive feedback and will often bend over backward to earn it which means they'll strive to please you and then they tend to need the negative a lot less.

And when you really start getting into trouble is when kids are so starved for attention that they'll start acting out because even the negative attention is better than none at all.



posted on Aug, 25 2018 @ 11:17 AM
link   

originally posted by: CornishCeltGuy
a reply to: DanDanDat

I'll repeat it again as I passionately believe it, if any parent makes a threat and then fails to follow through with it they are weak and the child will see thak weakness immediately.
What would you call it if it is not a sign of weakness then?
Kids exploit weak parents and I see little scrotes like that all the time because the parents are weak.
They deserve everything they get because a parent should be the strong one seeing as they provide ultimate care.
Friends and negotiation with kids, sheesh, what has the world become, no wonder there are so many entitled snowflakes in the world.


I'd say the way you are describing things is too simplistic.

Sure there are "week" parents out there who let there kids walk all over them and those kids take full advantage. Just like you I've encountered those kids and parents out and about... their usely the kids for example who cut in line in front of my behaved kids ... and since they are kids I can't do anything about it except tell my own kids to stick up for themselves... which involves telling them to do things I would not allow under normal circumstances... which is confusing to them... so I feel your pain when it comes to these parents.

But there are many different stop points between those parents and your prescribed parenting style. It's not ether or, it's not black and white.

The systematic reward system that started this conversation is not the issue with those parents and kids who go around terrorizing people. And can be a valuable tool if used constantly and for the right things.




top topics



 
14
<< 1  2    4 >>

log in

join