So I've got this sweet "Surplus Grocery" spot, near me, a "preppers" paradise, and about a year and a half ago I nabbed 3 boxes of Saltine Crackers
for $1 (a buck).....
So last year I finished off one box. This year I hadnt really bothered the other two boxes (the kind that have four long narrow packs of crackers
inside the box)...
Then recently I went to eat some from a breaker pack in one of those remaining two boxes....
I suppose they were just slightly "expired" (by the MFG Standards anyways) at the time of purchase....
And eating them wasnt even possible (despite having toppings worth roughing it for all ready to go), as they tasted like... paint.
Not quite as bad as oil based paint, at least, nor quite like epoxy paint (which I surmise has no taste as its such a perfectly hard material), but
definitely like 3 day dried latex acrylic paint.
So naturally I decided to dump each breaker pack into the fire, as the cats surely wouldnt walk within five feet of them...
And they were unfit for the compost setup as they have salt...
And I'll tell ya, they would probably make for halfway decent firestarter kindling, as you'd think I had just dumped shards of pine particle board on
the fire when I poured the 7 breaker packs into it rather quick like...
So naturally I got to wondering, maybe that's exactly how dried latex paint would burn...
Meaning of course I went and grabbed a big 'slap' of dried latex paint and threw it in there (the sort of patch you peel out of a paint bucket after
its fully dried for a few days, and then left to dry in the sun for a few more)...
I snip you not, I seriously had this most perfect specimen of latex paint on hand for this most ultimately serious example of a controlled science
experiment ever contemplated...
So I threw it in there...
Could still see many crackers not yet burnt because they didnt get far enough in there...
And the patch of latex paint in the fire next to the crackers (no pun intended), had the most astounding results...
It burned both "faster" and "slower" than the cracker did!
It managed to do this simultaneously (which is without a doubt a truly indisputable marvel of all known and fictional science theory)...
But after many minutes of advanced enhanced exotic calculations, and my nose, without any doubt whatsoever roughly the same amount of energy expelled
from the patch of dried latex paint as would have roughly the same dried mass of saltine crackers (that smelled like three day old dried latex paint)
would have...
AND, the smell of the fire didnt change at all from one moment before the latex paint was added (while the crackers were still going at it), and
after!!!
edit on 23-8-2018 by IgnoranceIsntBlisss because: (no reason given)