posted on Aug, 18 2018 @ 06:16 PM
I am in the middle of selling my families small farm/ homestead we have been running while working full time jobs in the healthcare industry. We found
ourselves in Ohio about 6 or 7 years ago, after a tough run of luck caused me to lose my research job in Oregon, just as my near 8 year old daughter
was being born...I delivered her in our living room, my wife did it all, strongest human I know, no drugs, no nothing...just us and our wonderful
We sold everything except our clothes and an old Hyundai Elantra and accepted the only job with insurance for my wife and daughter I could get...I had
to dig deep and take a home building job in the Berkshire Mountains of Western Massachusettes, just to keep my family afloat.
We left Sandy, Oregon on Mt Hood January 1 2011 and chained up that Elantra driving over Cabbage Hill, the Continental Divide eyc.. through feet of
snow for 6 days till we got to S. Deerfield MA. We found a 450 ft apartment in a 1790s building and I left with a 2 man tent, a hatchet, my tools and
a sleeping bag to the Berkshires to build a wealthy lady a net zero energy home. 4000 sq feet
I would drive home every Friday night and Saturday we would take the baby and head to Trader Joes, for food. Ill never forget counting every penny,
adding every item up to make sure we had enough money to pay for what we wanted to buy....needed to buy.
A lot transpired since then, a lot transpired before then...Like many, Ididnt have a very good childhood, I was physically abused by both mother and
father. My mother, sociopathic and brutal, hard punches to the face, head into the floor by the hair, my father....just frightening, he would scream
at me, bludgeon me, beat me with belts or walls, or ceilings...he scared me so much, I would cower and pretend to sleep while he breathed heavily in
my bedroom door.
He would tell me he loved me, and how much, just before he beat me black and blue everytime. Teachers in those day noticed the black bruises on my
arms, my neck, my eyes..the priests at Catholic church knew, my sister and mom knew...nobody ever helped me.
Now Im 51 and today my 80 year old father father called, he cant walk, couldnt move his left arm, lesions all over his vertebrae...hes dying. Im
crying, trying not to in front of my daughter...but my worst demon, needed me so I drove up there, joked with him, loved him and got him to the
Im an executive in healthcare now,, I paid for my wife to go through school ...cash every month. My daughter is amazing and healthy and by all rights
I should still hate my family....God, Ive never cried so hard in my life. I love my Dad either way, and knowingvhe is about die is killing me.