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TDC 2018 A Clump of Cells

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posted on Aug, 13 2018 @ 02:02 PM
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As Jessie lay in her bed in the clinic in Chicago, she let out a heavy sigh. When she found out she was pregnant again, her thoughts and emotions had reeled. The words , “ if it’s one thing that a momma don’t need is another hungry mouth to feed, in the ghetto”, seemed to make so much sense to her at this moment. Why bring another child into a life of extreme poverty, gang violence, and such an uncertain future? She was sure she was making the right choice. After all, it was only a clump of cells, and not even a real human yet.

Nurse Higgins came to her bed and gently said, “Jessie Young ?” Jessie nodded affirmation, and as she was being wheeled to the abortion room, her heart lurched, and a small tear escaped her tightly shut eyes. “ Sorry, its for the best “, she whispered in croaked tones as she lay her hand on her stomach.

Nurse Higgins was aware they were using new methods to abort, and inducing labour, while the patient was out, was being considered far superior than the vacuuming technique previously used. As the baby was being delivered, nurse Higgins was shocked to hear Dr. Casey give out a joyful exclamation. “ It’s still alive !” exclaimed the doctor, which puzzled nurse Higgins. “ This fetus is not useless and should not be thrown away. We can keep it alive and use it for important scientific testing !”
Nurse Higgins was shocked beyond words, and when Dr. Casey turned to go get the necessary equipment to keep the fetus alive, nurse Higgins gently put a hand around the fetus’s neck and squeezed gently, as she whispered “Sorry, but it’s for the best”.
The end.

I apologize for using such a sensitive topic, but it was what was in my heart. It is purely fictional as I do not know exactly what happens to aborted fetuses, and I hope I have not offended too many people. I don’t expect many flags or stars, but had to get my little story out there.... as dark as it may seem 😕
edit on 13-8-2018 by Sheye because: (no reason given)

edit on 13-8-2018 by Sheye because: (no reason given)

edit on 13-8-2018 by Sheye because: (no reason given)

edit on 13-8-2018 by Sheye because: (no reason given)

edit on Thu Aug 23 2018 by DontTreadOnMe because: attempt to fix BB code




posted on Aug, 13 2018 @ 02:43 PM
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a reply to: Sheye

Never apologise!



posted on Aug, 13 2018 @ 02:49 PM
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originally posted by: LightSpeedDriver
a reply to: Sheye

Never apologise!


Thanks Light... (( hugs )) .. despite our differences on a certain topic, I have huge respect for you and your opinions.



posted on Aug, 13 2018 @ 02:51 PM
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a reply to: Sheye

Wow.

That took guts!




edit on 13-8-2018 by DBCowboy because: (no reason given)



posted on Aug, 13 2018 @ 03:24 PM
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originally posted by: DBCowboy
a reply to: Sheye

Wow.

That took guts!





I thought long and hard about posting it. I tried my best to use a compassionate viewpoint from both Jessie’s side as well as nurse Higgins. I am not an advocate of abortion, but I understand the stress and fear many go through in making such a decision.

Thanks for weighing in DC.. appreciate it much.
edit on 13-8-2018 by Sheye because: (no reason given)



posted on Aug, 13 2018 @ 04:20 PM
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a reply to: Sheye

Flash fiction. Nice.

Do you consider Higgins the main character?

In a longer version I can easily imagine her as the main character. The story would start out by making Higgins look bad, going about her daily routine of aborting babies, but the character softens as we see her in her daily life outside of the clinic, perhaps as a volunteer at a children's hospital, e.g., singing or putting on a show. Something.

The doctor appears and is the real villain, and ghetto momma is simply the impetus for Higgins. Perhaps the climax comes and there's an icy conflict between doctor and nurse. Nurse - how dare she act insubordinate - is threatening not only the tenuous life of the fetus, but zooming out, the progress of western civilization. Ghetto momma is witness to the altercation. Nurse finally appears to acquiesce and doctor goes to get equipment. You know what happens then...

Love it. Write more.



ETA -- That's just my two cents not trying to be pedantic.

S+F
edit on 13/8/2018 by DictionaryOfExcuses because: (no reason given)



posted on Aug, 13 2018 @ 04:26 PM
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a reply to: Sheye

A fine story. Keep writing and putting your thoughts out there.

Star and Flag from me.

Kindest regards,

bally



posted on Aug, 13 2018 @ 04:34 PM
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a reply to: DictionaryOfExcuses

I could have made it longer and much more descriptive , but truth be known I suck at writing. 😆 I only fluked off a writer status because I think there were not many entries at the time. I have good ideas, but could improve vastly on how I unfold them.

You are correct in stating nurse Higgins could very well be the main character of this story , long version, and there is no questioning she did what she thought was ethically correct for the living fetus. The Dr. Is definitely the selfish , callous villian with no thought to the dignity of a human life, or regards to what the mother would think.

Some may argue the doctor was doing a grest thing for medical research for tiny infants, but at what cost, I ask.

Thanks for your thought provoking post... you have a keen sense for a good story, and I so appreciate your input. 👍🏼



posted on Aug, 13 2018 @ 04:37 PM
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a reply to: bally001

Thank you Bally... your story is great as well. Love these little contests... hats off to Gordie for organizing them. 😎👍🏼



posted on Aug, 13 2018 @ 04:39 PM
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a reply to: Sheye

Yes, I must say, Gordi does deserve respect.



bally



posted on Aug, 13 2018 @ 04:51 PM
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i think the brief shortness of your story is what hit me so badly.

first sadness, then the cold calculations and the revolting joy of the doctor to serve heartlessly medicine and his career, followed sharply by the quick decision to murder. i think i'm still in shock.

very well done, sheye.



posted on Aug, 13 2018 @ 05:14 PM
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originally posted by: lucia2389
i think the brief shortness of your story is what hit me so badly.

first sadness, then the cold calculations and the revolting joy of the doctor to serve heartlessly medicine and his career, followed sharply by the quick decision to murder. i think i'm still in shock.

very well done, sheye.



I understand what you mean about the brief shortness. To be honest , I post from my phone, and I’ve lost half of a longer story before. 😕

I also worry too much about the story being to long and rambly... but good writing is very descriptive, and that can get long and rambling. I also don’t care for superfluous writing , where more words than necessary are used to describe something.

Anyhow, I agree with you 100% .. it could have been longer.. a longer short story 😆... I am trying to improve 😏
edit on 13-8-2018 by Sheye because: (no reason given)



posted on Aug, 13 2018 @ 05:53 PM
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a reply to: Sheye




“ It’s still alive !” exclaimed the doctor, which puzzled nurse Higgins. “ This fetus is not useless and should not be thrown away. We can keep it alive and use it for important scientific testing !”


Why did Jesse wait so long to have an abortion? Why would Dr. Casey agree to preform an abortion on someone so far enough along that she gave birth to a breathing baby, (at least 24 weeks) that had to be strangled? Was Nurse Higgins trained by Kermit Gossnel? If a baby is born breathing, because an abortion failed, doctors and scientists don't keep them alive for scientific experimentation.

The only reason doctors perform abortions at that late of a stage is if the fetus is in destress, because of a dire condition making the fetus incompatible with life and it's own distress is threatening the life of the mother, threatening heart failure, sepsis, liver failure, kidney failure, etc.

Women have to sign a release to allow their aborted fetal tissue to be donated to science. Clinics don't just take it. If the women choses to donate her aborted fetus to scientific studies, it isn't useless.



posted on Aug, 13 2018 @ 05:57 PM
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originally posted by: Sookiechacha
a reply to: Sheye




“ It’s still alive !” exclaimed the doctor, which puzzled nurse Higgins. “ This fetus is not useless and should not be thrown away. We can keep it alive and use it for important scientific testing !”


Why did Jesse wait so long to have an abortion? Why would Dr. Casey agree to preform an abortion on someone so far enough along that she gave birth to a breathing baby, (at least 24 weeks) that had to be strangled? Was Nurse Higgins trained by Kermit Gossnel? If a baby is born breathing, because an abortion failed, doctors and scientists don't keep them alive for scientific experimentation.

The only reason doctors perform abortions at that late of a stage is if the fetus is in destress, because of a dire condition making the fetus incompatible with life and it's own distress is threatening the life of the mother, threatening heart failure, sepsis, liver failure, kidney failure, etc.

Women have to sign a release to allow their aborted fetal tissue to be donated to science. Clinics don't just take it. If the women choses to donate her aborted fetus to scientific studies, it isn't useless.




It’s a work of FICTION... not everything needs to coincide with your version of what reality is ,in an abortion clinic.

But thanks for your critique, none the less. 😁



posted on Aug, 13 2018 @ 06:09 PM
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a reply to: Sheye


Is it fiction? Or, is it a hypothetical version of your reality, of what you THINK goes on in abortions clinics; heathy babies regularly being aborted post viability.

I would still like to know why Jessie waited so long, and why Doctor Casey agreed to such a late term abortion. Maybe her fetus was diagnosed with Down Syndrome, and she didn't think she could "do it"? If so, then your story would work. Just saying....





posted on Aug, 13 2018 @ 06:19 PM
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a reply to: Sookiechacha

... or maybe the clinic agreed to abort after 24 weeks, due to nefarious ulterior motives ? Remember this is fiction, and I do get to choose what scenerios to put in them.



posted on Aug, 13 2018 @ 06:30 PM
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originally posted by: Sheye

originally posted by: lucia2389



I understand what you mean about the brief shortness. To be honest , I post from my phone, and I’ve lost half of a longer story before. 😕

I also worry too much about the story being to long and rambly... but good writing is very descriptive, and that can get long and rambling. I also don’t care for superfluous writing , where more words than necessary are used to describe something.

Anyhow, I agree with you 100% .. it could have been longer.. a longer short story 😆... I am trying to improve 😏


no, absolutely not. i meant it as a compliment. i wouldn't want to add a word if i was you.

to provoke a strong reaction with such a short story is ingenious.



edit on 13-8-2018 by lucia2389 because: (no reason given)



posted on Aug, 13 2018 @ 06:31 PM
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originally posted by: Sheye
a reply to: Sookiechacha

... or maybe the clinic agreed to abort after 24 weeks, due to nefarious ulterior motives?


Like Kermit Gosnell's clinic?


Remember this is fiction, and I do get to choose what scenerios to put in them.


Sure, but you left us guessing because you didn't put the scenario in, of why Jessie waited so long, and why the doctor agreed to do an "illegal" post viability abortion.

Like I said, if the fetus was diagnonsed with Down Syndrom, the doctor could easily have agreed, the baby could have been born with a healthy set of lungs in spite of a botched abortion, and the nurse could have had a good reason, in her mind, to extingish its life. You story would not only hit home for an issue close to many people's heart, but it would be real too.

I think you misrepresent why women seek late term abortions, and why doctors choose to preform them. Don't take it personal, or as an afront to your writing skills or your message. It's just a critique, not an attack.



posted on Aug, 13 2018 @ 06:35 PM
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a reply to: Sookiechacha
Like I said before... I appreciate the critique... I’ll try to do a better job of painting reality in a fictional story next time. 😁



posted on Aug, 13 2018 @ 08:04 PM
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a reply to: Sheye

You don't have to do a better job. Judging from the responses, regardless of what you reply, "this is a piece of fiction.' Everyone has their unique writing or take on a situation. This is no exception.

You have touched hearts so criticism as outlined is a compliment. Well done I say
You do not have to do a better job. Your take on this subject was exceptional.

kind regards,

bally




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