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Grandma shoots masterbating cyclist trying to break into her house!

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posted on Aug, 9 2018 @ 03:00 PM
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www.foxnews.com...


There is just too much going on here for me to absorb. A guy riding a bike, masterbating and breaking into a house. Talk about multitasker, someone get this guy a job!

A nice neighborly granny. She'll tell you once, she'll tell you twice, but don't make her tell you three times or she'll pop a cap in you.

This lady is my spirit animal and good aim MeeMaw!!




posted on Aug, 9 2018 @ 03:04 PM
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a reply to: JAGStorm

Is it wrong if I think the title is hilarious?



posted on Aug, 9 2018 @ 03:07 PM
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originally posted by: CriticalStinker
a reply to: JAGStorm

Is it wrong if I think the title is hilarious?

Best of the day/week/month? ??




posted on Aug, 9 2018 @ 03:08 PM
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a reply to: CriticalStinker

When I read the story I laughed for ten minutes!!

"Mrs. Jean has some advice for anyone who tries to bring drama to her home again: "They better stay away."



posted on Aug, 9 2018 @ 03:11 PM
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originally posted by: Jefferton

originally posted by: CriticalStinker
a reply to: JAGStorm

Is it wrong if I think the title is hilarious?

Best of the day/week/month? ??



It's in the runnings for all three.



posted on Aug, 9 2018 @ 03:12 PM
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a reply to: JAGStorm

Haha, too rich.

I trust she beat him to the "shot".

Woof, I'm going straight to hell.


+15 more 
posted on Aug, 9 2018 @ 03:17 PM
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This dude gives us normal masturbating cyclists a bad name.

Now we'll never get to the Olympics.



posted on Aug, 9 2018 @ 03:18 PM
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a reply to: JAGStorm

The linked article states "Police said investigators were working to determine whether the woman would face charges".

That's kind of odd... Isn't Texas a 'Stand your ground' state?

I mean, how much more of a clean cut 'Stand your ground' incident could you get, than a masturbating cyclist trying to break into your home?



posted on Aug, 9 2018 @ 03:20 PM
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a reply to: Subaeruginosa

If she shot him in the back, she is screwed. (It's truly impossible to say anything in this thread without it looking like a joke).



posted on Aug, 9 2018 @ 03:22 PM
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a reply to: Subaeruginosa

www.kxan.com...


Granny Jean says she went and grabbed her pistol when she realized the man wasn't listening.

"And he kept coming and reached for my door after it was locked so I shot through the door," she said.

The grandma fired just one shot and hit the man in the chest. Police say the 38-year-old required surgery after the incident but he is expected to be okay.

"I don't bother nobody, I don't get in nobody's business," she said. "It's just me and him. And like I keep saying, I warned him."



posted on Aug, 9 2018 @ 03:22 PM
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Maybe she only shot after he discharged his weapon?

That would be pretty straight forward self defense.



posted on Aug, 9 2018 @ 03:25 PM
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And I thought I had the strangest wanking tales
edit on 9/8/2018 by DictionaryOfExcuses because: (no reason given)



posted on Aug, 9 2018 @ 03:26 PM
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How the eff is that even possible?

Never mind I don't want to know.

Good for granny.

The cyclist deserved what he got.

The Darwin Award.



posted on Aug, 9 2018 @ 03:32 PM
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a reply to: CriticalStinker

Uh no. First thing I thought was wow multitasking taken to new levels.



posted on Aug, 9 2018 @ 03:33 PM
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Can't flag. Don't know what's going on.



posted on Aug, 9 2018 @ 03:34 PM
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Did he come and go at the same time?



posted on Aug, 9 2018 @ 03:35 PM
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There really IS something very stimulating about riding in tight bike shorts.
I love mine.



posted on Aug, 9 2018 @ 03:37 PM
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a reply to: JAGStorm

Never trust a grown man who still rides a bike.

Especially if they wear the tight pants.



posted on Aug, 9 2018 @ 03:38 PM
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Perhaps theres a forum where those WTF threads that to be honest need preserving



posted on Aug, 9 2018 @ 03:41 PM
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Clearly...

An old lady was having trouble getting over her husband's death.
She decided to end her life early, to be with her beloved in the afterlife.

She went to see her doctor the next day..
“Doctor, where is my heart?”

“On a woman’s body, it is just below the left breast.”

Wth that, the old lady goes home
takes her husband’s loaded handgun,
and shoots herself

the shot ricochets off of the helmet of the helmet of ...
...Mr masturbating cyclist !!

who calls 911.


Paramedics arrive ...
Old lady gets admitted with a gun-shot wound to the left foot





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