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Any Advice for Helping an Alcoholic?

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posted on Aug, 5 2018 @ 05:40 AM
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I will start off by saying that i have not read any comments. Only the initial post. So, with that, i may say things that have already been said. I consider myself an alcohlic. Not full on alcoholic but definitely int the “alcohol dependant” phase. Mine started with having to grow up too fast and then joining the Army as an Infantryman and drowning out the pains of that when i returned home. The pains are ... mostly non existent... but the habit of drinking every day, in order to function, persists. Im still highly functional though. I can hold a full time job. Wake up sober. Etc...

I write this post only to say that from my viewpoint there isnt a whole lot you can do to help someone that doesnt want to help themselves in the first place. My advice would be to not give up and try not to be overbearing at the same time. Dont drive this person away from you. Establish a bond. A connection. Some sort of common ground. Use that to get through to them. Find ways to show them that there is more to life than just theirself and their next bottle of beer or whisky or vodka(scotch is my weakness)
edit on 5-8-2018 by PhatalError because: (no reason given)




posted on Aug, 5 2018 @ 07:44 AM
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originally posted by: PhatalError
I write this post only to say that from my viewpoint there isnt a whole lot you can do to help someone that doesnt want to help themselves in the first place.

That's the truth.
My alcoholism was only destructive to me personally, money wise, and also not getting up for work, although being self employed I am lazy even dry and sober but that's another issue lol.
Close friends and family had told me they were concerned about me and drinking, but there was nothing anyone could say which would bring me any closer to stopping drinking. That had to come from within, and the day it did I just went cold turkey, locking myself away at home through the horrors of withdrawal, then a week or so later I was dry.
I had to want it though, and nobody can make me want something, no matter how much they counsel me...it has to come from within.



posted on Aug, 5 2018 @ 07:51 AM
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a reply to: KevinKaboom

Thank you for the information on the Sinclair Method. I found some general information to print out for his parents, since they would be the ones making actual treatment decisions with their son. I haven't found any practitioners in his area yet but I'm still looking. Any information I can share with them is appreciated!
edit on 5-8-2018 by Boadicea because: hit "reply" too soon!



posted on Aug, 5 2018 @ 08:04 AM
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a reply to: one4all


As long as you clearly understand the Trojan Horse message that is the root cause of the alcoholism....then we are on the same page....once your loved one has A TARGET to shoot for they will do so....


I have found some information to share with them, but I think more important is that I found the information about the specific healing properties of high CBD products, which are highly anti-parasitic. I am definitely passing on that information.

We're thinking along the same lines in terms of giving him a target to shoot for. In my heart, I know he wants to change and stop this death spiral... it's thinking that he can't, that he can't do it, that he can't get through it to the other side. And that may just be me. But I know if I have a plan, I can handle anything... if I have a plan, even if something isn't working, I can change my plan. But I have a plan!



posted on Aug, 5 2018 @ 08:06 AM
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originally posted by: PapagiorgioCZ
a reply to: Boadicea

Better substitutes. St. John's Wort and Amanita Muscaria tinct., Thyme.
I'd say San Pedro microdosing too but only in theory because of the lack of personal experience.

And religion.


Thank you -- I'm not familiar with Amanita Muscaria tincture, but I'll check it out. I've seen Thyme mentioned in my readings also. I know it has some healing qualities, I will look into that more as well.

Thank you!



posted on Aug, 5 2018 @ 08:16 AM
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a reply to: Meehh

Thank you -- and thank you for stressing the importance of understanding the condition. I know his parents are in touch with doctors, and I learned yesterday that he had been de-toxed while hospitalized. There was a plan in place, but it hasn't been followed.

I know his parents prefer natural medicine, so I'm going to check out a naturopathic college nearby that offers medicial services as well. The website says they can help with any medical condition, so I'm going to share information with his parents about that place. I've also found a new low-cost inpatient treatment center close by.

It looks like I'll be talking to his parents before I talk to him anyway. He's not returning our calls and messages...



posted on Aug, 5 2018 @ 08:24 AM
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originally posted by: jidnum
Lol did u really say he is an alcoholic because he is of Navajo descent?


Not exactly; I did however note the well known and documented issues Native Americans are known to have with alcoholism, which is disproportionately high to the rest of the population. Clinical medical studies have not shown a clear predisposition to alcoholism, but it is known that Native Americans metabolize alcohol differently than the rest of us.


Hahahaha wtf kind of racist ignorant statement is that?


Only to the extent that race does in fact play a role in many medical conditions, and in this case, his race may be medically significant in terms of treatment.



posted on Aug, 5 2018 @ 08:27 AM
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Good man 😊

ETA: in response to FlyingClayDisk's reply.
edit on 5-8-2018 by KansasGirl because: (no reason given)



posted on Aug, 5 2018 @ 08:33 AM
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Double post... weird!
edit on 5-8-2018 by Boadicea because: (no reason given)



posted on Aug, 5 2018 @ 08:35 AM
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originally posted by: Boadicea
a reply to: Meehh

Thank you -- and thank you for stressing the importance of understanding the condition. I know his parents are in touch with doctors, and I learned yesterday that he had been de-toxed while hospitalized. There was a plan in place, but it hasn't been followed.

I know his parents prefer natural medicine, so I'm going to check out a naturopathic college nearby that offers medicial services as well. The website says they can help with any medical condition, so I'm going to share information with his parents about that place. I've also found a new low-cost inpatient treatment center close by.

It looks like I'll be talking to his parents before I talk to him anyway. He's not returning our calls and messages...


Oh boy. How long ago was he hospitalized? Was it for some other condition, or was he admitted for the purpose of being detoxed? The hospital will usually "detox" the person by giving them IV fluids and vitamins. They don't really help with the withdrawl, like a dedicated Detox center or facility would. So he probably just went straight from the hospital bed to the liquor store. This is why it's so helpful to get medication help with those withdrawls, more than just fluids and vitamins.

When I read your post I immediately thought "he's getting wasted." He may not even be aware of your calls. 😰. I hope not, I hope he will still show up for dinner tonight. Keep us posted!



posted on Aug, 5 2018 @ 08:38 AM
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a reply to: PhatalError


I write this post only to say that from my viewpoint there isnt a whole lot you can do to help someone that doesnt want to help themselves in the first place. My advice would be to not give up and try not to be overbearing at the same time. Dont drive this person away from you. Establish a bond. A connection. Some sort of common ground. Use that to get through to them. Find ways to show them that there is more to life than just theirself and their next bottle of beer or whisky or vodka(scotch is my weakness)


Thank you -- sharing that is much appreciated and I take those words to heart! I know I can only do so much. If he's not interested now, I'll still be here when he is. I won't give up, but I will be patient.



posted on Aug, 5 2018 @ 08:42 AM
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a reply to: KansasGirl

Which one?



posted on Aug, 5 2018 @ 08:48 AM
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originally posted by: sprockets2000
Yes go to lysergi.com and buy some 4-aco-dmt for a couple trips. Also look at the research vendor list you can find on google and find a long acting benzo research chem like clamazopene or whatever the spelling is. if you can get your hands on weed and opiates get them just make sure to moderate all of this to help you off and not get addicted to them as well. SHould onlyt be used a month at most.


These are absolute insane suggestions for an alcoholic. Benzos and opiates are as addictive as alcohol! You can't give an addictive mood-altering substance to an alcoholic, to get them off of alcohol, and say "just make sure to use these moderately." !!!!!!! That's the point: alcoholics don't or can't use moderately.

The benzos are helpful for getting through the first acute withdrawl phase, but then can't be prescribed to a drunk because he or she will definitely just get addicted to and abuse those.



posted on Aug, 5 2018 @ 08:48 AM
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a reply to: KansasGirl


Oh boy. How long ago was he hospitalized? Was it for some other condition, or was he admitted for the purpose of being detoxed? The hospital will usually "detox" the person by giving them IV fluids and vitamins. They don't really help with the withdrawl, like a dedicated Detox center or facility would. So he probably just went straight from the hospital bed to the liquor store. This is why it's so helpful to get medication help with those withdrawls, more than just fluids and vitamins.


He was hospitalized "a couple" weeks ago. That's all I know. His birthday was the middle of last month, and he sounded fine when i talked to him, but I'm thinking I got him early. I could be wrong, but he probably went off the deep end around his birthday.

I'm going to drop some information off for his parents tomorrow, and hopefully have a visit with his mom. That should tell me more. I'm just trying to gather general information for now that I can give them, along with some local resources and numbers. Then I'll ask if there's anything else I can do. We're not great friends with his parents, but we're friendly. We lived next door to each other for several years.



posted on Aug, 5 2018 @ 08:49 AM
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originally posted by: Flyingclaydisk
a reply to: KansasGirl

Which one?



Where you said you can't use booze responsibly, so you don't drink.

And by the way, I'm with you on the intervention issue. I think it's RARE for one to "work." Because they're just awful.
edit on 5-8-2018 by KansasGirl because: (no reason given)



posted on Aug, 5 2018 @ 08:55 AM
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a reply to: Boadicea

You probably did get him early, when he sounded fine. It sounds like your instincts and intuition are working well in this situation. Go with you gut because it sounds to me like you're tuned in.



posted on Aug, 5 2018 @ 08:59 AM
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a reply to: Flyingclaydisk




I have said repeatedly on this thread that the OP is doing a fantastic job with her approach. You saying I'm somehow insinuating she is selfish, self righteous and a coward is a complete twisting and misstatement of what I have said. Don't even go there! That is the furthest thing from the truth. My point (to you) was about interventions most always not being constructive if conducted by non-professionals such as family and friends.


What the OP is doing here is trying to find out what type of intervention would work best, with the help of some wise advice... and she is a friend to the family.

Many family interventions have been made with a professional on board. But, no matter how much the alcoholic is shown how his/her lifestyle is killing them, ultimately it will be up to the alcoholic to choose his destiny. That is where courage comes in, as well as the love and support of family.

That’s all I’ll say on the matter .. and yes , I think interventions save lives.


edit on 5-8-2018 by Sheye because: (no reason given)

edit on 5-8-2018 by Sheye because: (no reason given)



posted on Aug, 5 2018 @ 09:17 AM
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originally posted by: KansasGirl
a reply to: Boadicea

You probably did get him early, when he sounded fine. It sounds like your instincts and intuition are working well in this situation. Go with you gut because it sounds to me like you're tuned in.


Thank you -- that helps my confidence a lot! I'm counting on my gut to see my through this. All this information is fantastic, and I know it will serve us well, but in the end, he's an individual and we'll have to help him find HIS way.

I think it helps that I've known him so long, literally watched him grow up and become an adult. We've laughed and played together, cried together, I've lectured him and I've praised him and congratulated him. And as a young adult, he was rocking it. He was the first among their friends to buy a condo, and then a house, out of school. He's always been a hard worker, very responsible and respectful to others. It's so hard to know this is happening.

Oooh! That reminds me!!! A few years ago, he and my son and I went to the Bob Seger concert. I absolutely love Bob Seger, and I warned him that if he was going to be embarrassed by an old woman rocking out, he was in trouble!!! (And I did -- believe me!) But nope. He thought it was awesome. It was a great night. We took pics that night outside the Arena after the concert. I'm going to dig those pics up, and some more from when they were growing up, and make a little collage for him. Nothing fancy. Just something to remind him of the good times we once had and can have again.



posted on Aug, 5 2018 @ 12:40 PM
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originally posted by: Boadicea
a reply to: one4all


As long as you clearly understand the Trojan Horse message that is the root cause of the alcoholism....then we are on the same page....once your loved one has A TARGET to shoot for they will do so....


I have found some information to share with them, but I think more important is that I found the information about the specific healing properties of high CBD products, which are highly anti-parasitic. I am definitely passing on that information.

We're thinking along the same lines in terms of giving him a target to shoot for. In my heart, I know he wants to change and stop this death spiral... it's thinking that he can't, that he can't do it, that he can't get through it to the other side. And that may just be me. But I know if I have a plan, I can handle anything... if I have a plan, even if something isn't working, I can change my plan. But I have a plan!




Once you understand how your mind and body have been TRICKED...then you can rationalise your behaviour without being overcome with guilt and remorseand self-loathing and fear....these are the things that prevent you from makng the simple decision to not drink the exact opposite of the first time you decided to drink but no more powerful nor impossible....you simply feel angry that you were hoodwinked into becoming ill and addicted to what you should have been taught and told was a medicine....this anger once given a target becomes a ball of fury and can provide serious motivation to stop drinking....once you understand that it has NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU OR YOUR EMOTIONS OR YOUR EMOTIONAL OR MORAL SHORTCOMINGS then you can target the real enemy......and really understanding this simple concept is EMPOWERING and will show him a real tangible way out....you cannot find your way out unless you know exactly how you got in....once someone learns what got them into alcoholism and that it is far above and beyond their moral compass but is in fact a PRIMAL INSTINCTIVE REACTION that OVERRIDES everything they want to do and to be....well then you know what to do to stop.....you find a more powerful more overriding source of a PRIMAL INSTINCT that will OVERRIDE THE SIGNALS ALCOHOL SENDS to your brain.

Good luck...anyone can stop drinking easily and quickly as long as they have a tangible physical anti-parasitic support that sends signals stronger than alcohol does.



posted on Aug, 5 2018 @ 04:13 PM
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You know, I've found there are two kinds of people in this world when it comes to dealing with personal / people problems.

There are the kind who generally want to "help" the person in need. There is no self-interest only only selfless caring. These people are genuinely interested in the person in need's well being. They will work tirelessly to help find a solution understanding the human side of the person they are trying to help. Most importantly, they realize that people are human and people make mistakes.

Then there are the people who say they wish to help, but they're really more interested in giving their opinion and imposing their will on others. Their real main interest is making themselves feel good in an "I told you so", or a "Well, now look what you've done" way. They want to make themselves feel good about not having the same problem the person in need does. This type of person will usually bolt when the going gets tough. There's always an excuse why they can't be there in the rough times, but more than willing to disappear with the parting shot of, "Well, If I were you I'd do (insert whatever)" They get bored and move on, kind of 'hit & run' style. They got their licks in, and got what they came for, for their own ego. This kind of person ignores the human side of an issue and takes the "tough love" approach...because it makes them feel superior and good about themselves.

It's kind of sad actually, because it's the latter type of person who usually show up first (and in numbers). Many times these types are overbearing and pushy, and they push away the people who truly want to help which only prolongs the damage and pain.

I've often thought about why these two distinct types exist the way they do, and what I've concluded is the first type of person can easily place themselves inside the person who needs help's shoes. Whereas, the latter type of person is completely incapable of seeing the world from another person's vantage point, they can only see their own.

I don't know. Take it for whatever it's worth I guess.

edit on 8/5/2018 by Flyingclaydisk because: (no reason given)



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