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I simply don't know what to do...

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posted on Jul, 27 2018 @ 12:52 AM
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Ok I've been in love with this woman for 15 years and she could never be with me and neither could I was were both married. Anything I done no matter what she was all I could think of, even when with another woman I compared her to them and they never matched up in my heart and mind. My marriage ended due to my choice so I moved on out of state I though I big change would help things. It didn't. So I ended up getting back in contact with her she in turned left her husband and told me to come to her which I did. Now, where she works she makes really good money so we talked it over and thought I need to start there and I did and things went fine for a while work wise. But one night when we worked overtime we was headed out the main door and some fellow said where you going baby I know what I heard so I stopped and waited to see what she said she smiled and said I'm not a baby.

I know what I heard I wasn't drunk or high but once we got home I asked her about it she claimed he called her by her last name which is "Bays" and swore up and down that was what he said and she said as well. So I let it slide for the time being contacted a few people and come to find out nobody calls her that at work they call her by her first name. I really need someones opinion on what you would do, I really love this woman and plan to marry her I've never loved any woman in my life except for her...so what would you do? And I can't stand a lair that grinds away at the love you have for someone.
't




posted on Jul, 27 2018 @ 01:11 AM
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a reply to: ArchangelOger

Bottom line: do you trust her? If not, then these problems will just get bigger down the line, whether your suspicions are justified or not.

Objectively, "Where are you going Bays? I'm not a Bays." Does that make sense?



posted on Jul, 27 2018 @ 01:16 AM
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a reply to: ArchangelOger

Get Magnum P.I. (or a similar PI) to find out the truth.
edit on 27-7-2018 by testingtesting because: (no reason given)



posted on Jul, 27 2018 @ 01:36 AM
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a reply to: ArchangelOger


In life you have to play the cards your dealt...... sometimes you win....

sometimes you lose!!


You sound like you are expecting rejection, super sensitive, suspicious,

not a good vibe in any relationship......


You can't preempt results, some one else may hold all the aces? but....

a leopard never changes its spots!! ......Sooooo

Remember how you got together!!??



posted on Jul, 27 2018 @ 02:08 AM
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a reply to: ArchangelOger

To be completely honest with you, your feelings for this woman seem unhealthy. You were both married, and your marriage ended, and she then left her husband for you to be with her? Choosing to work in the same place seems a bit odd to me too. This doesn't sound like love as much as infatuation.

Every one of my relationships eventually broke down due to lack of trust in the past. The woman I'm with now I've been with for 8 years. We never fight. We know how to communicate with each other effectively. We understand each other's emotional needs. We understand when the other needs a bit of space, and are happy to allow that for them. We trust each other fully.

I guess really ask yourself what it is you like about her, specifically. Really assess your feelings.

I really hope the best for you. I have been in a similar situation with an ex until I finally realized years later that I wouldn't want that relationship back because it was infatuation I was feeling, not love. Good luck.



posted on Jul, 27 2018 @ 02:09 AM
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You are stuck. You don't trust her and she is a liar. Do you let that abuse continue to eat up your life or do you break free from this obsession in which you have compromised your own morals?

You know what to do. Do it.



posted on Jul, 27 2018 @ 02:59 AM
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a reply to: ArchangelOger

First thing stop being an idiot. If you love
her you shouldn't hardly notice some ass
try'n a make you jealous. Save yourself
some grief and focus on her. You have n't
even given her a chance to be a faithful
wife and you're acting like that? WTF is
wrong with you?
edit on Ram72718v01201800000013 by randyvs because: (no reason given)



posted on Jul, 27 2018 @ 04:47 AM
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Two things I can recommend are: don't go off the deep end about one remark, but don't be blindsided and an unsuspecting fool either. You need to investigate, but you have to be discreet about it.

I really don't get a good feeling about this aspect though:


originally posted by: VictorVonDoom
a reply to: ArchangelOger

Objectively, "Where are you going Bays? I'm not a Bays." Does that make sense?


It could also be much ado about nothing, but I doubt it... and so should you.



posted on Jul, 27 2018 @ 05:07 AM
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posted on Jul, 27 2018 @ 05:48 AM
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She is cheating. Run away. Move to Arkansas.



posted on Jul, 27 2018 @ 05:53 AM
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a reply to: ArchangelOger


Murder the hypotenuse.



posted on Jul, 27 2018 @ 05:59 AM
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It seems like youve already endured a hero's journey to get together with her.
One unsolicited comment shouldn't make you this suspicious.



posted on Jul, 27 2018 @ 06:21 AM
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a reply to: ArchangelOger

Seems to me like the two of you have lived lives of lies with other spouses for 15 years so no wonder you have trust issues. In my parts we call female friends 'babe' quite comfortably even if they are in a relationship, heck even women serving at the supermarket say 'hiya babe' to me, it doesn't mean they want an affair with me, just a term of endearment.
Maybe people are more uptight about things like that where you are, or maybey you are just irrationally jealous?



posted on Jul, 27 2018 @ 06:34 AM
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a reply to: ArchangelOger

Some stranger calls my wife "Baby" in a sarcastic / provocative way, they're going to get their ass handed to them in a lunch bag.

And you want to worry about it...after the fact??? With her??

Send the message clearly the first time, in the moment, and then there are no misunderstandings or missed expectations going forward.
edit on 7/27/2018 by Flyingclaydisk because: (no reason given)



posted on Jul, 27 2018 @ 07:14 AM
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a reply to: ArchangelOger

Serves you right.
Your distrustful of her now but when you were married you didnt care about being faithful then, did you?

Your not a trust worthy person. The past is playing on your conscience.



posted on Jul, 27 2018 @ 07:16 AM
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originally posted by: ArchangelOger
Ok I've been in love with this woman for 15 years and she could never be with me and neither could I was were both married. Anything I done no matter what she was all I could think of, even when with another woman I compared her to them and they never matched up in my heart and mind. My marriage ended due to my choice so I moved on out of state I though I big change would help things. It didn't. So I ended up getting back in contact with her she in turned left her husband and told me to come to her which I did. Now, where she works she makes really good money so we talked it over and thought I need to start there and I did and things went fine for a while work wise. But one night when we worked overtime we was headed out the main door and some fellow said where you going baby I know what I heard so I stopped and waited to see what she said she smiled and said I'm not a baby.

I know what I heard I wasn't drunk or high but once we got home I asked her about it she claimed he called her by her last name which is "Bays" and swore up and down that was what he said and she said as well. So I let it slide for the time being contacted a few people and come to find out nobody calls her that at work they call her by her first name. I really need someones opinion on what you would do, I really love this woman and plan to marry her I've never loved any woman in my life except for her...so what would you do? And I can't stand a lair that grinds away at the love you have for someone.
't


After 40 years, I reconnected via internet with my 1st love...both married and talked by phone quite a bit after that about each other's situation.

We had gone to kindergarten, lived on same street, went to Catholic grade school and graduated high school together..thru those later years, I ignored her.

It was great talking with her for a couple months.One day...I couldn't reach her..not thinking much about it.

Sometime later I got a call from a friend of hers I didn't know saying she saw my # on her phone, so she called me to say "Cheri passed away...I don't know you, but see on her call log you spoke quite a bit...so I thought you should know".

She was an alcoholic and I didn't really know she was in a terminal state. In fact...I yelled at her once about drinking excessively.. she cried and said "you totally judged me"...but we made up.

Don't know the point of my reply here except its true when people say "You can't go home again" in these cases...but it's nice to visit awhile...

What was...was. Sometimes? You have to let it be in the past..and leave it there..
:/

Best.....MS
edit on 27-7-2018 by mysterioustranger because: (no reason given)



posted on Jul, 27 2018 @ 07:16 AM
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originally posted by: Flyingclaydisk
Some stranger calls my wife "Baby" in a sarcastic / provocative way, they're going to get their ass handed to them in a lunch bag.


What if he doesn't say it in a sarcastic way? What if he says it in a Barry White, smooth and deep as the Pacific without waves kind of way?



posted on Jul, 27 2018 @ 07:28 AM
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a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

I never have called anyone of my ex's baby.....it's weird like that song where it goes "walking along hand in hand with my baby" I just imagine someone walking down the road holding hands with an actual baby.
Also "Hit me baby one more time" as a northerner I say me sometimes as my for example me Ma and me are going t' shops(It's like game of thrones up here) so "Hit me baby one more time" sounds like some git is actually wanting me to hit a baby which obviously I do not want to do.
Back to the OP like I said Magnum PI the situation.



posted on Jul, 27 2018 @ 07:37 AM
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originally posted by: testingtesting
I never have called anyone of my ex's baby......


That makes one of us, I call all of your exes 'baby'.



posted on Jul, 27 2018 @ 07:45 AM
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a reply to: AugustusMasonicus
Lol

'Baby' isn't really used in my parts just 'Babe', but that can be from mixed gender friends to each other and/or between couples in a relationship.
It depends how the guy in the OP said it really, and what the protocol is in his area.
But the OP's relationship seems to have been 15 years of both of them lying to their other partners, so I totally imagine trust issues.




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