posted on Jul, 26 2018 @ 09:11 AM
I could use some opinions here...
Maybe I am being totally irrational, too sensitive, maybe I'm overreacting. In light of the death of my sister a couple of weeks ago my emotions have
been all over the place. But I just need more eyes, thoughts on this to make sure it's not me. Or maybe it is me...
So once a year me and my sister would pick a Friday in the summer and blow off all of our responsibilities to spend the day at the beach. We'd always
invite our friends to join us but the bottom line is it was me and her spending the day together.
So yesterday I was thinking this Friday (tomorrow), would most likely be that day if she were still alive. So I decided I'd call in sick and make it
a beach day for myself. I texted one of my friends, a person I've known for 20 years, and said "Hey, can you call in sick tomorrow and go to the
Her reply: "I have plans with my friend (friends name), for the beach on Friday... but would love to go kayaking on Saturday.. where do you go? I
saw photos from your last time, looks nice"
My reply: "I went to (name of lake) it's awesome there. What beach are you going too?"
Her reply: "(Name of beach), I have a beach sticker so can drive out to the end"
My reply: "Oh that's totally cool, it's so nice out there, I can't get a sticker because I'm not a resident! Who is (friends name?) what time are
you going? do you want me to meet you?"
I Assumed the invitation.
Her reply: "Her son just had brain surgery and she needs a day at the beach... may not be lots of fun... we can go on Saturday if nice... just love
that beach... walking on the dunes in my favorite."
At this point I felt like an idiot, because I assumed the invitation and was immediately remembering how she said she'd be there for me if I ever
needed anything. Then I felt like a jerk because I was thinking 'Big deal, her son had brain surgery, and survived, SHE needs a day at the beach,
meanwhile my sister died..."
My reply: "Ya that sucks. I am going on Friday anyway and will just park at the wall then. If you drive by me on the way out or if you're walking
I'll be there somewhere."
Her reply: No no, that's not right... I have next Friday off... we could drive way out... so much more enjoyable?"
My reply: "Totally is more enjoyable, but I need a beach day too."
Her reply: "I understand, but lets plan to go out for a real beach day when you can."
I never replied. Now she's texting me some of the silly little happy memories that pop up on Facebook. I can't reply, I am too upset. I mean if you
look at the big picture it's really just a stupid little thing that doesn't really matter. Or does it? Am I being childish? Is she being selfish? I
am confused and I am hurt!
So as it stand right now, I'll be going to the beach tomorrow, will pay my money to get in and will park at the beach wall. Meantime, at some point
she'll be driving right by me on her way out to the beach point. I mean should I #ing wave hello? It just seems SOOOO stupid and I'm so
HASHTAG Third Wheel!