posted on Dec, 21 2018 @ 10:10 AM
Sometimes I love the glitchiness of ATS.
You see, I responded to a member in another thread. I am not speaking in hyperbole when I say that this member is cynical, snide, combative, and rude
fairly close to the 100% mark. His comments betray a tragically miserable person, but in his credit this is definitely a case of "takes one to know
(I estimate myself to be at roughly 50%. Perhaps I should review my posting history as to make sure I'm not flattering myself LOL. All the same, I'm
working on refining my conduct here. It can feel like pushing back a comet sometimes, because I am miserable too, at least some of the time. But I
don't want to develop a reputation as a caustic sort, an inveterate #-talker.)
Anyways, the quote feature malfunctioned, compelling me to edit my post lest I look like a...well...a boob. (At least we have a little time to correct
ourselves.) During the editing process, it dawned on me how futile my response was. I knew that, no matter what I said, it wouldn't be received
with a shred of consideration.
Something this person said triggered me. It was in point of fact was self-contradictory (which one truly can't seize upon too harshly---in a way we're
all of us walking contradictions, right?). But furthering the element of self-contradiction, there I was, about to make some rude remark about his
I considered: dial it back, make it polite, repackage it. Doing so, it lost all steam. It hit me, hard: I have nothing to say to this person. I was
left to look at myself and the tatters of my remarks. My self-contradiction: my laughable and tragic human condition.
I'm all for healthy debate, but doesn't healthy debate require something that matters in the first place? I mean something for which you may stand a
chance at coming to a synthesis of ideas? I mean something outside the satisfaction of feeling intellectually superior. I was trying to be
intellectually superior but it came from a place of emotion. There's just no place for it.
Something that may be common knowledge to others dawned on me, really for the first time. Perhaps it is that people should be left to be exactly who
they want to be, say what they want to say. I can think of times when I "got what I wanted" or was let to "be right", only later finding out how naive
I was, how errant my ways, how abjectly self-deceptive my own thought process can be, how inconsiderate of those things that I didn't know that
I don't know. I have been that member and I am still.
From the worst of my mistakes, I've learned a great deal, and it is true to say that I respect myself today and did not in days past. That's a
treasure I never fathomed I could actually feel.
So I did something that has historically been difficult for me: I let it go. That member should be let to be think and act exactly as they would, and
in due course, perhaps their heart will soften...or harden further. The truth is, realizing my own shortcomings and dealing with that, instead of
projecting it back, is truly more rewarding. Ironically, I have this member to thank for helping me to realize what is probably a critical objective
in this life, for everyone.
I'm glad this place---the banter cafe---exists. I can saunter in and make a few remarks that otherwise don't deserve their own thread, but which may
cue thoughtful responses from your experiences.
(Slaps a $20 note on the counter.)
Keep the change.