The Banter Cafe, open 24hrs

originally posted by: oldcarpy
a reply to: CornishCeltGuy

Do you really want the Proclaimers clogging up the jukebox with their miserable songs? Cos that's what you'll get.....

Haha you nut!
I just googled it, fair few Scottish bands I like in this top 20 list...

The Average White Band, Bay City Rollers, Belle and Sebastian, Biffy Clyro, Big Country, Deacon Blue, Del Amitri, The Incredible String Band, Marmalade, Mogwai, Nazareth, Primal Scream, The Proclaimers, The Sensational Alex Harvey Band, Simple Minds, The Skids, Texas, Travis, The Waterboys, Wet Wet Wet.

Some may have realised that I like my tea, particularly Ringtons Tea or Yorkshire Tea.
Tea has be drunk piping hot and out of a bloody big mug.

In the past few weeks I've had a small handful of mishaps with the tea bag splitting.
I put it down to me stirring the tea rather too vigorously.....but no, apparently its due to the new biodegradable tea bags being used by Yorkshire Tea.

www.bbc.co.uk...

People can bicker and argue about Brexit and have Jock/English dick measuring competitions all they want but I think we need a bit of perspective here....this needs sorting A.S.A.P. or the country will go in to meltdown - well, this little corner of the country will.

The only thing that worried me more this year was when we had a national shortage of John Smiths Smooth.

a reply to: Freeborn
Hahaha!
This is a national outrage FFS, teabags splitting WTF?!
I often have a cup of tea at the pub, only £1.00, read the papers, enjoy some banter with the old boy who rants after reading the Daily Mail.
If tea hadn't been invented then Britain wouldn't have built anything lol.

a reply to: CornishCeltGuy

Told our lass that she's on quality control duty tonight.....she has to ensure all tea bags are adequately sealed and won't split during stirring.

So much for me wearing the trousers in our house; she smiled, called me a knobhead and reminded me that if I want a smoke to open the door and stand on the step....then she put her coat on and went round her friends house for 'one' glass of wine.

Weather's crap outside and can't be arsed to get ready to go to the pub so guess what I'll be doing tonight?

a reply to: Freeborn
Lol mooching about ATS?
...in between cig's stood on the step haha...and one glass of wine I don't believe it, my female mates do a bottle or two.

a reply to: CornishCeltGuy

Suppose I'll be watching crap TV and maybe posting on ATS if anything gets me curious/angered etc.

To be honest I don't really smoke that much unless I'm drinking and I don't really drink much at all in the house.

As for the 'one' glass of wine; she's as likely to have just the one as I'm likely to have two pints when I tell her I'm popping out for a couple.
It's not a problem at all - the lines were established years ago.

a reply to: Freeborn
Haha I totally get that.
"The lines were established years ago" lol, I know your story, bet your missus is brutal as #.
I'd compete for her.

Here is one for andy06shake - "up yer clunge":



The resemblance is quite uncanny!

a reply to: oldcarpy
That annoys me to #, Jocks who are capable of speaking English but don't, then expect everyone to translate whatever the # they are saying.
I see it on ATS as well 'nae' 'weans' etc, speak English ffs, it is not difficult.

a reply to: CornishCeltGuy

Like when you walk into a shop in deepest Wales, they are all speaking English but when you open your mouth they all speak in Welsh.

Top tip - never ask for directions in Wales or you'l be washing spittle out of your hair for days.

a reply to: oldcarpy
The Welsh are the worst for it, but at least they have a language, the Jocks just have a lame dialect.

a reply to: CornishCeltGuy

I think you should post in your Cornish accent.

a reply to: oldcarpy

People may think its an urban myth but I have on a couple of occasions had the pleasant experience of walking into a pub in Wales where everyone is speaking English but the moment I opened my mouth and they realised I was English they started speaking Welsh.

Wales is a strange place.....

a reply to: Freeborn
Lol!

a reply to: Freeborn

I like Wales and the Welsh though. Stayed in a pub in the Brecons. They had a family do in the evening that went on late. We went to bed and then we heard it all kicking off in a massive fight - furniture being thrown and what sounded like chairs thrown at the bar, smashing glass and everything. Police came at 2am.

Went down for breakfast and greeted by landlord who acted like nothing happened. Asked about what happened and he said "Just a bit of a disagreement".

a reply to: oldcarpy
Haha cool story
The Welsh fight like men and don't bitch about it afterwards.

a reply to: CornishCeltGuy

I got a good kicking from some young Welsh farmers a good few years ago. We went to one of their do's and they were giving us evils cos we were English. It was dark and they followed us. There were three of us and three of them. We walked faster down the lane and so did they etc. One of my mates legged it (thanks) and the other one turned to face them saying to me "Come on, there's only three of them" so I did not have much of a choice but to stick with him.

Which was when the other 8 loomed out of the darkness. A welcome in the hillside? I think not.

We were sea trout fishing that night and when we got back to the hotel looking a bit worse for wear we told the hotel owner what happened at the bar. As we were setting off for the river he stuffed a bottle of Scotch down our waders.

Caught nothing but just as we were leaving a bloody great salmon crashed out. Like someone chucking a paving slab in. Even the fish were taking the piss.

I still root for the Welsh rugby side, unless they are playing us, of course.

a reply to: oldcarpy

I am off for Christmas so won't be around til the New Year so it's a happy Christmas and New Year from me except for any Remainer's for whom it's obviously going to be a total disaster. Particularly in Scotland, of course.

Hope Santa brings you all what you want. Cornish - I wouldn't get your hopes too high - Santa knows your search history.

Top tip - BMW drivers - when it's pitch black and raining stair rods and the road is like a river and I can't even see where I am going, why not drive right up my arse with your sodding fog lights on?

Sometimes I love the glitchiness of ATS.

You see, I responded to a member in another thread. I am not speaking in hyperbole when I say that this member is cynical, snide, combative, and rude fairly close to the 100% mark. His comments betray a tragically miserable person, but in his credit this is definitely a case of "takes one to know one".

(I estimate myself to be at roughly 50%. Perhaps I should review my posting history as to make sure I'm not flattering myself LOL. All the same, I'm working on refining my conduct here. It can feel like pushing back a comet sometimes, because I am miserable too, at least some of the time. But I don't want to develop a reputation as a caustic sort, an inveterate #-talker.)

Anyways, the quote feature malfunctioned, compelling me to edit my post lest I look like a...well...a boob. (At least we have a little time to correct ourselves.) During the editing process, it dawned on me how futile my response was. I knew that, no matter what I said, it wouldn't be received with a shred of consideration.

Something this person said triggered me. It was in point of fact was self-contradictory (which one truly can't seize upon too harshly---in a way we're all of us walking contradictions, right?). But furthering the element of self-contradiction, there I was, about to make some rude remark about his rude remark.

I considered: dial it back, make it polite, repackage it. Doing so, it lost all steam. It hit me, hard: I have nothing to say to this person. I was left to look at myself and the tatters of my remarks. My self-contradiction: my laughable and tragic human condition.

I'm all for healthy debate, but doesn't healthy debate require something that matters in the first place? I mean something for which you may stand a chance at coming to a synthesis of ideas? I mean something outside the satisfaction of feeling intellectually superior. I was trying to be intellectually superior but it came from a place of emotion. There's just no place for it.

Something that may be common knowledge to others dawned on me, really for the first time. Perhaps it is that people should be left to be exactly who they want to be, say what they want to say. I can think of times when I "got what I wanted" or was let to "be right", only later finding out how naive I was, how errant my ways, how abjectly self-deceptive my own thought process can be, how inconsiderate of those things that I didn't know that I don't know. I have been that member and I am still.

From the worst of my mistakes, I've learned a great deal, and it is true to say that I respect myself today and did not in days past. That's a treasure I never fathomed I could actually feel.

So I did something that has historically been difficult for me: I let it go. That member should be let to be think and act exactly as they would, and in due course, perhaps their heart will soften...or harden further. The truth is, realizing my own shortcomings and dealing with that, instead of projecting it back, is truly more rewarding. Ironically, I have this member to thank for helping me to realize what is probably a critical objective in this life, for everyone.

I'm glad this place---the banter cafe---exists. I can saunter in and make a few remarks that otherwise don't deserve their own thread, but which may cue thoughtful responses from your experiences.

(Slaps a $20 note on the counter.)

Keep the change.

a reply to: oldcarpy

Have a good Christmas mate!
I don't do the PC Happy Holidays, it's Christmas, but today is the solstice, and probably the real reason we all celebrated historically...the sun is coming back!!! That golden ball of love which warms us up, something our Scottish friends don't know about lol.
Have a good one and pop back when you can.
My gas boiler has finally broken (20 years old) and I haven't got the cash to get a new one yet so bought two halogen light heaters from Argos, they are brilliant, loads of heat but use hardly any electricity haha
Thank # my son lives next door so I can get a shower at his!
Have a good one, and happy new year when it comes

a reply to: DictionaryOfExcuses
Haha mate I totally get you!
I sometimes get myself wound up in debates with people and emotionally connected with the issue. It's human nature...and usually when I get warnings of mods or posts deleted lol.
Always feel free to rant it off in the Banter Cafe over an Irish coffee lol

You are right, I post stuff here which doesn't deserve a thread, but just to get it off my chest.
Good to see you here, share a tune on the jukebox, I've discovered some amazing music from other members in this thread.