An aide comes into the Oval Office and says to Trump:
"Sir, three Brazilian solders were killed in Afghanistan last night."
Trump looks absolutely devastated, nobody's ever seen him like this.
He sinks back in his chair, saying OMG over and over.
Then he composes himself and says: "Okay. Just remind me, how many are there in a brazillion?"
Donald Trump and Barack Obama ended up at the same barber shop.
As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken.
The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation, for fear that it would turn nasty.
As the barbers finished their shaves in silence, the one who had Trump in his chair reached for the aftershave.
But Donald was quick to stop him, jokingly saying, "No thanks. My wife, Melania, will smell that and think I've been in a brothel."
The second barber turned to Barack and said, "How about you, Mr. Obama?"
Barack replied, "Go right ahead, my wife, Michelle, doesn't know what the inside of a brothel smells like."
The Trump entourage, wife, VP and all were on a campaign junket in an upper midwestern wintery, snowy city.
After a rousing speech, Trump returned to his suite, and whilst proudly looking out of the balcony, he noticed that written in ‘yellow’ in the
snow drift outside was :, “Trump is an ass.”
Exploding into a rage, Trump calls his Secret Service people to immediately get a sample of the ‘yellow snow’, and find out whose urine it was.
The Secret Service jumped into action taking samples, pictures ... and reported back to Trump
The Secret Service agent, a little ‘wilted’ said, “Mr. President, we know whose urine was used in the message.”
“Who was it!” thundered Trump.
The agent responded, “The urine is VP Pence’s sir.”
Trump flew into another rage.
The agent then even more wilted said, “Mr. President, there’s more information.”
“What the hell could be worse”, replied Trump.
The agent replied, “The handwriting was Melania’s!”