Yo! Eat Healthy. Kale Rules!!!

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

Yeah,

I have to start eating green crap as well.

I can't stand it. I just bought a damned juicer and will try to liquefy Kale, half a beet, some carrots, and and apple all together and throw enough lemons in after to make it drinkable.

If nothing else, I figure I can do shots with a chaser


I have been doing research. This lady looks amazing and besides juicing, I think her secret is broccoli sprouts!

a reply to: burdman30ott6

Answer: not a soul, actually.

I see trucks drive up to my work place every day, companies like naked juice or whatever, and they've got "KALE" plastered all over the side of them. I go in the grocery store and people are ripping the 'trendy' KALE off the shelves for 5 and 6 dollars a pound....and I LAUGH! KALE is a weed, and a somewhat noxious one at that.

Now that's what they want you to EAT! Okay, how about sand burrs and goat head weeds...let's eat those too! Maybe make soup out of them, screw the thorns.

LOL, I remember a while back when they said the florets of broccoli weren't as good as the stalks. I was hilarious to me because I always loved the stalks, but most people hate them (I'm weird, I know). It's just stupid stuff like that. So, what? Broccoli isn't good enough...now you have to eat only the stalks with your tofu salad???

Can't you see?

I heard a good saying the other day, pretty funny and profound at the same time...

"HEY ALL YOU PETA VEGANS...PLEASE STOP EATING ALL THE ANIMAL'S FOOD!!!"

And then there was...KALE! Not even my cows will eat that stuff...and that's saying something!!!

YAY KALE!!

Mmmmm sheep food.

originally posted by: JinMI
Mmmmm sheep food.

Will they eat that crap???

I guess they're kinda' like goats and will prolly eat anything!

Because...sheep.

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk



Tried deep frying kale.... still nope.

originally posted by: burdman30ott6
a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

Doctor visit today, or did you marry DB's wife?

OHHHHHH SSSNAP!

Kale is a cruciferous veggie, a potent goitrogen

Kale can cause the blood to get too thick, it can cause agglutination and it is also high in vitamin k, which is good if you just eat a little occasionally, other wise it can cause agglutination of the blood which can cause mild to major strokes if you do not make enough of the enzyme to break down the Thrombin. It can also cause minor blood clots in the heart muscles if you overeat it.

Kale is safer if you cook it, but then again it tastes like crap when cooked, I would rather eat cooked spinach in a quiche, or just boiled with some milk and butter. Spinach is safe when cooked, it is similar to the greater plantain that grows in my yard. That is also called the soldiers bandage because it clots blood quickly when applied to wounds, another good thing to stimulate clotting if you are bleeding is Yarrow, Yarrow also contains a chemical similar to hydrogen peroxide. Good for ulcers.

Kale and spinach are high in oxylates, they can cause kidney stones. If you cook it well, the oxylates break down and are harmless. Or just to make sure, stick a little milk into the dish, the oxylates bind to the calcium and neither is absorbed from the gut.

I rarely eat green leafy veggies unless they are cooked, iceberg lettuce is the safest one. I will add a few pieces of fresh picked tender young dandelion greens to my salad sometimes, ones I know are safe, ones I have growing in the yard. I cannot eat much tomatoes, they cause bumps and sores, I can use all kinds of chemicals without them bothering my skin, other than acetone, but I cannot eat the super food tomatoes except occasionally, like once a week. I also am intolerant to avacados, I am not dumb enough to eat them just because someone says they are good for you. I actually tested on myself to see if they effected my breathing, they do.



But, the hospitals need money to pay their help and we have too many people in the world, so make sure to eat your kale salad.

originally posted by: EmmanuelGoldstein

originally posted by: Flyingclaydisk
a reply to: EmmanuelGoldstein

YUMMY!...sounds DEE-LISHOUS...NOT!!

Sounds like salad dressing powerful enough to cover up....the taste of the KALE!!

Umkaaaay. Well
If it makes you feel any better, sometimes I just wad up a pile of kale and then stick it in my ass.
I know it's a suppository, but I swear I can really taste the kaleness.

FTW

You could put kale on a big mac, but I still wouldn't touch it.

Leave you to guess which part I'm talking about

We eat kale on burgers. With smoked cheddar. Or smoked mozzarella. And a slice of beefsteak, the tomato almost matters more than the greens & cheese on a good burger.

We also eat mustard greens on burgers, and with kale in salads & smoothies. Sometimes we'll have that fancypants curly lettuce, or red leaf, sometimes romaine. People are picky s#s anymore, it's good ol' FOOD. Mix it the hell up a little, proportionately. You're supposed to blend stuff together in a mix so that everything compliments & enhances each other, it's not hard to do. Seriously not hard, I can't cook for s# and I can put together a basic balanced salad.

We also have a rabbit in the house, so I tend to try just about everything we give him (including the dandelion leaves from the yard) Lo & behold, the stuff people often snub is generally pretty good raw. Excellent additions to salads or burgers/sandwiches. Except the collard greens, those are gross. Actually, those are usually gross no matter what anyone does to them. I've only ever had one (very elderly) person cook them in an irresistible manner in my entire life, and that's saying something considering the stereotypical "Southern Mama" cooks.

I like baby kale. It’s much more tender and quite tasty. Very much like spinach.

I hear dandelion greens are good, and good for you. That most certainly is a weed.

a reply to: kaylaluv

You...you....MONSTER!

originally posted by: CreationBro
I can already see Augustus' response to that statement...

First time I saw that I thought Trey had set up a spy cam in my house but then I realized we both got drunk at the Grove and I told him about it.

originally posted by: kaylaluv
I like baby...

Me too.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

originally posted by: kaylaluv
I like baby...

Me too.

Cuz it tastes like chicken??

originally posted by: kaylaluv
Cuz it tastes like chicken??

NO!!! It tastes like people. Why go through all that legal rigmarole for something that tastes like something else?

originally posted by: Flyingclaydisk
a reply to: burdman30ott6

So, basically you HATE Kale TOO!!

Bury it in oil and other stuff and...it's GREAT!!

.....but the KALE SUCKS!!

P.S. It grows on the side of our road, we spray it. It's a WEED!

Not a kale fan either.

If I'm making a green salad, it has some variety of lettuce (not iceberg), spinach, and something like turnip, mustard or collard in it. I prefer mustard greens myself for the bite they have.

Then we have the generic table veggie bucket that usually has cauliflower, turnip, carrot, and radish in it. We grab some of those and chop 'em fine to mix with the greens as you like.

Sometimes, I'll indulge in mushrooms for it, and I'll usually mix up a quick balsamic vinaigrette to dress it.

a reply to: ketsuko

So yeah, I love salad and veggies too, and that's kind of the whole point here! LOL!

I think this is a major veggie-conspiracy worthy of a special counsel. Someone is hoarding all the good veggies for themselves, and then is using this massive social engineering campaign to make everyone else eat all the crappy weeds (like Kale) which grow in the borrow-ditch along the side of the highway.

As a matter of fact, I'm just waiting for the new 'fad-diet' to come out. It'll probably be called something like the "Berkley Borrow-Ditch Diet"

And then all these people on the Cro-Magnon Diet (or whatever 'paleo' diet is all the rage) will be shamed into not putting these 'weeds' in stores, but actually going out onto the side of the highway and grazing them.

I mean let's face it...where did Kale get it's start anyway?

It was a freaking garnish for heaven's sakes!

"You're not actually supposed to EAT that, you know!"

They put it there because it added 'color' and it was indestructible under the warming lamps in the kitchen (and in a pinch you could resole your shoe with it). In fact, Kale even has a half-life.

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

Dude...it's just a cabbage. Even the name screams it, it's derived from the Old English word 'Cale' for cabbages in general.

And it's not a "ditch weed" for Christ's sake, it's been cultivated for several millennia in the Mediterranean & areas adjacent.

You're getting all worked up over very little.

a reply to: Nyiah

LOL! I know. And yes, I might be exaggerating just a slight bit, but it's to illustrate a point, so you can call it creative license.

Oh, and I often try to inject a bit of levity into even my rants. Trust me, I'm not angry. Just having some fun with the only vegetable which is both bullet-proof and has a half-life...and can be used to sand down the paint job on your Toyota.

...though I sure do Like the ring of the..."Berkley Borrow-Ditch Diet"