People who change "stories" or experiences or don't remember them - seems like different person

This has happened a few times and I'm always confused when it happens and it's best explained in the story of what happened.

A few years ago I was talking to a woman who I've known since I was an infant. We were talking for about 45 mins about a recent surgery she had and all the problems she had been having since. She required help doing a lot of things now and wasn't very mobile and not mobile w/o a lot of pain. She said it was due to something the surgeon did during the operation, instead of just removing some cartilage from the knee, they "scrapped" the arthritis to the bone and this caused more severe pain than what she had before surgery but it was different than the cartilage surgery. Her husband was there and told me how much trouble she was having since the surgery and how mad he was at the surgeon b/c he was to specifically not scrape the arthritis as it is known to cause this condition. I knew about this issue as about 20 years before this I had a relative who went through the same thing and they went from being active in sports to not being able to do any sports that required running/movement - so the conversation was memorable. The reason she went in depth about it was b/c I was having similar problems as she had and was looking at surgery, so it was a precautionary tale I guess.

So now, about 3-4 years later I see her again and ask her about her knee and she said it was great and went on to say after the surgery she never had any problems or pain again and had more flexibility and mobility than ever before. Well that is odd. I probed a little and asked if she had any pain after the surgery or pain related to it and she said she didn't. She went on with some more anecdotes which directly contradicted what was previously said and I just listened wondering if this was the same person I had spoken to before (which it was, as it was my neighbor so I don't get them confused...)

Now I've had this type of thing happen a number of times where the person tells one story and then some time later I get a COMPLETELY opposite story or at minimum denial or omission of the original story. Some things are more trivial like telling me they used to ride their bike 10 miles a day to work while at college (all 4 years) and then later telling me they haven't been on a bike since they got their license at 16.

Now IDK enough about people to know if they would make up stories like this for some reason and then later forget they told the story, IDK what the purpose would be of making it up in the first place, maybe for something to talk about or for attention of some type. I have a different type of memory than most people I have met where I can remember conversations and details for very long times after they happen, often recalling exact phrases/words used - especially when the issue relates to me personally or is controversial. I've found many times people completely deny saying things which I know for a fact they said b/c after the conversation I ponder their statements and often recall it (internally) when I see them.

When we would go on summer vacation with our friends, we would get a house a couple doors down and I would remember all the guests at their house (their extended family), who was there what years, what cars they had, what we did, who got in fights and why, etc. I was young 9-18yrs old and was very observant especially b/c often it was like observing & interacting with zoo animals up close and personal. Years later, this family would argue about things that happened on vacation (often both were wrong) and I would explain what happened w/ intricate details (like replaying video in my mind) and they would look at me in amazement and both would agree that that was how it happened and now remembered it correctly. So this kind of memory has permeated much of my life and is both a burden and blessing, but it makes situations like the first conversation very odd and unsettling.

There are so many people in my life that I feel are not the same person that they were when I was younger and not in ways that they have aged, matured, gotten wiser, etc, but completely different as in (in many cases) much dumber, more irrational, incapable of problem solving, unobservant unable to explain or utilize basic concepts from their profession or major (college major). It's like the person is a stand in for the original. When asking someone with a PhD in a field a question a first year student can answer and they either can't answer (the question) or give a very nebulous answer, then I think there is something very wrong. The people who are exhibiting this behavior also seem to be locked in a loop of repeating stories they have told 100's of times (no lie, that many at least), never adding new stories from their childhood or early life, it is always stories I and others have heard many times before. I thought that when I got older I might hear some stories which had been withheld due to age appropriatness but that doesn't seem to be the case. It seems that someone stepped in the body and is repeating things that have already been told to others as they have no knowledge of the life which wasn't shared (orally) with others.

Anyone else experience anything like these issues? I was wondering if it was alzhiemers but if that is the case then there are A LOT of people (like 40%+) I know who are exhibiting this and it isn't only with "older" people but even those who are 18-40 years old (along with people up to 70yrs old).

Yes I reached out to a member here at ats, daverabbit, a radio dj in Dallas back in 67, when some dj one summer morning called out to go outside and see the sky full of UFOs. I was headed out of town for vacation and looked back to Dallas but saw nothing in the sky.


When I returned from Colorado in two weeks, all my buddies were different and wouldn't talk about it, but I dragged done detail out of em....

Plus my wife right now exhibits this exactly as you posted....

a reply to: DigginFoTroof

I can relate.

Years ago things were outright screwy. Ive had plenty of instances similar to what you have described.

Some people just have faulty memory, others do in fact make things up for attention purposes (and some with personality disorders even believe their own lies).

Then there is the gray area where it almost seems like a dream, like when you wake up and within minutes forget your entire dream. Its almost as if some people shift through alternate realities...

But we will go with faulty memories and attention seekers, for now.

It isn't strange that people remember things different than they actually happened, the story changes a bit over the years. I have noticed that with people I know. I usually do not say anything if their memories have changed of events, usually they took someone else's story and made it their own. I have seen this happen many times with different people over the years. Sometimes their stories wind up excluding themselves from being active in something to.

It is nothing to worry about, memories can get distorted by a mild strokes and people do have tiny strokes fairly often. The damage just distorts things a bit, it does not hurt anything other than messes up some memories. This is normal in humans.

www.cedars-sinai.edu... It is something you learn to understand when you start to get older. But the young also get these but they do not realize they had them and trust their memories too much sometimes.

Sounds like my entire family-all ages. Can't agree on anything, including memories. I give up.

I remember trying to pull out this old metal rusty bracket from one of the bushes in our garden. Could do it since it seemed to be trapped around a large root. Went away for a contract. Came back home, that metal bracket had disappeared. My parents didn't know anything about it.

originally posted by: DigginFoTroof
This has happened a few times and I'm always confused when it happens and it's best explained in the story of what happened.

A few years ago I was talking to a woman who I've known since I was an infant. We were talking for about 45 mins about a recent surgery she had and all the problems she had been having since. She required help doing a lot of things now and wasn't very mobile and not mobile w/o a lot of pain. She said it was due to something the surgeon did during the operation, instead of just removing some cartilage from the knee, they "scrapped" the arthritis to the bone and this caused more severe pain than what she had before surgery but it was different than the cartilage surgery. Her husband was there and told me how much trouble she was having since the surgery and how mad he was at the surgeon b/c he was to specifically not scrape the arthritis as it is known to cause this condition. I knew about this issue as about 20 years before this I had a relative who went through the same thing and they went from being active in sports to not being able to do any sports that required running/movement - so the conversation was memorable. The reason she went in depth about it was b/c I was having similar problems as she had and was looking at surgery, so it was a precautionary tale I guess.

I know from experience and was actually told in a couple of cases by a surgeon

they cannot guarantee anything till the patient was opened up, the reality can

be very different to what tests provide, and then they have to do what in their

experience is best.

So now, about 3-4 years later I see her again and ask her about her knee and she said it was great and went on to say after the surgery she never had any problems or pain again and had more flexibility and mobility than ever before. Well that is odd. I probed a little and asked if she had any pain after the surgery or pain related to it and she said she didn't. She went on with some more anecdotes which directly contradicted what was previously said and I just listened wondering if this was the same person I had spoken to before (which it was, as it was my neighbor so I don't get them confused...)

You didn't as in the saying "distance lends enchancment" so pain is forgotten?

Best example of this is childbirth .....

Now I've had this type of thing happen a number of times where the person tells one story and then some time later I get a COMPLETELY opposite story or at minimum denial or omission of the original story. Some things are more trivial like telling me they used to ride their bike 10 miles a day to work while at college (all 4 years) and then later telling me they haven't been on a bike since they got their license at 16.
Now IDK enough about people to know if they would make up stories like this for some reason and then later forget they told the story, IDK what the purpose would be of making it up in the first place, maybe for something to talk about or for attention of some type. I have a different type of memory than most people I have met where I can remember conversations and details for very long times after they happen, often recalling exact phrases/words used - especially when the issue relates to me personally or is controversial. I've found many times people completely deny saying things which I know for a fact they said b/c after the conversation I ponder their statements and often recall it (internally) when I see them.

From my own experience I would say that as a person gets older they let go

of things that are no longer important, their priorities for living change.

When we would go on summer vacation with our friends, we would get a house a couple doors down and I would remember all the guests at their house (their extended family), who was there what years, what cars they had, what we did, who got in fights and why, etc. I was young 9-18yrs old and was very observant especially b/c often it was like observing & interacting with zoo animals up close and personal. Years later, this family would argue about things that happened on vacation (often both were wrong) and I would explain what happened w/ intricate details (like replaying video in my mind) and they would look at me in amazement and both would agree that that was how it happened and now remembered it correctly. So this kind of memory has permeated much of my life and is both a burden and blessing, but it makes situations like the first conversation very odd and unsettling.

Even very soon after an event people remember differently.... because each

individual remembers best what has most importance to themselves.

There are so many people in my life that I feel are not the same person that they were when I was younger and not in ways that they have aged, matured, gotten wiser, etc, but completely different as in (in many cases) much dumber, more irrational, incapable of problem solving, unobservant unable to explain or utilize basic concepts from their profession or major (college major). It's like the person is a stand in for the original. When asking someone with a PhD in a field a question a first year student can answer and they either can't answer (the question) or give a very nebulous answer, then I think there is something very wrong. The people who are exhibiting this behavior also seem to be locked in a loop of repeating stories they have told 100's of times (no lie, that many at least), never adding new stories from their childhood or early life, it is always stories I and others have heard many times before. I thought that when I got older I might hear some stories which had been withheld due to age appropriatness but that doesn't seem to be the case. It seems that someone stepped in the body and is repeating things that have already been told to others as they have no knowledge of the life which wasn't shared (orally) with others.

I myself am quite advanced in age in reality.... However I never think about or

or admit it or discuss it, and am comfortable among all age groups.

Whilst taking my grandchildren to various groups I interacted with the parents on

their own level and the other parents were often surprised when they discovered I

was the grandparent not the parent.

I have discovered the saying "If you dont use it you lose it" to be very true AND you

are never to old to try new things and being interested can make you interesting I

am constantly challenging myself to go further than I think I can.

a reply to: DigginFoTroof

I agree with all that you've said. It's like Mandala effect with people.

Ever since I moved to another state, I feel like I've become a different person. Maybe it's a normal part of the human condition.

My brother was exactly as you described, I would talk to him over the phone and the next time it was exactly like I was talking to a completely different person.
My brother 'was' a very intelligent person, he was also a writer, he had a good mind, and, a good imagination, but, I can't help thinking that he had several personalities, or something like that.

We lived in different towns, about an hour apart, so we would talk on the phone quite a bit, sometimes, most times for hours. We weren't that close growing up, he was 3-1/2 years older than I am, and he left home at 13 while I was a kid. We were not close for years, then we started hanging out some, then we were apart some, so really, I didn't know him like most would know their brother.

We had an argument once because I was drinking beer on a fishing dock at my lake cabin, he was going to spend the week-end with me. He was 'supposed to be' a devout Christian, but from the stories he told me, he just had everyone (else) that he knew, fooled. On this particular week-end I went to his house to pick him up, we stopped at a store along the way and I got my beer, he got his 'drinks' which were alcoholic, I had been working many long hours all week and was pretty tired already.
I drank a beer while we were talking, I drank another, then I started to feel very relaxed, I admit to slurring my words some, but that was only because I was already whooped before I started drinking. I was not a big drinker anyway, I would drink socially, but never brought it home or any of that. My parents were alcoholics, hence my brother not liking to be around drinkers, I get that. He would let his wife even have a glass of wine with dinner, he was really strange, and acted like 'at least' two different people a lot of the time.

Anyway, I was on the dock, and about the 3rd beer I slurred, he got up and started walking away without even saying why. I said, "Where are you going?", he didn't answer, he kept walking, I asked again, no answer. I asked, "Is there anything wrong?". He said nothing, he kept walking, he walked about 100 feet up the bank and I walked towards him, he ignored me. I loved my brother because, he was my brother, I admit to not caring for a lot of things about him. This was really weird though.

I asked him why he was acting this way, (he was probably around 40 years old at the time) and he said that I was drunk and I KNEW that he didn't like that. I said, "I am TIRED!", I am a little tipsy, anyway, he started walking away again, I went to him and gave him a hug and told him that I loved him, (I wasn't being 'the sloppy drunk'!) that I would never do anything purposely to make him feel uncomfortable. but he acted as though I wasn't there, I let him go and he walked away and stayed away all night. The next morning I walked up from the fishing pier I went back early that morning, I walked by his tent and told him that we were leaving in 30 minutes, be ready. He didn't say anything. That hurt, a lot. He didn't feel much I guess because he had a problem with emotions, I don't.

We drove the almost 2 hours to his home and we didn't talk for over a year. He finally called one day and apologized, which he never does, for anyone. He was strange, like I said. Throughout the years small things would happen and he made it seem as though 'I" was the one that was crazy, he never admit it ever being his fault.

Fast-forward to a few years later, we were on the phone talking about, 'stuff', he mentioned that he weighed 245lbs or so, I said, "The last time we talked (a month or so ago) you said that you were 195lbs. He said, "Noooo, I never said that!", I said, "I remember that you did", I was smiling when I said that too. He adamantly said that he didn't. I said, "I remember exactly what you said and when", and, I then said, "I'm not going to let you get away with it this time!", kidding him, he said, "I know how to cure this", then he hung up! I never heard from his again, I only learned that he died through his wife's Facebook page years later.

That's pretty tough to learn that by Facebook. I wasn't called about it, his wife didn't bother. I am SURE that he told her that she was not to tell me, that is how he was. I loved him, but being honest, I really didn't like him.

I was only kidding with him, we both had a similar (I thought) sense of humor, we were a lot alike in some ways, and apparently completely different in others. He could NOT see me smiling while we were on the phone, but I was. I thought he was being humorous actually, I waited for the phone to ring, it never did, ever.
We BOTH had a rule that we lived by, pretty much the Golden Rule, treat others like you would want to be treated, but, if a person did something that we deemed serious enough, that we would count that as a strike, and, three strikes and you're out, we both lived that way, it just so happened.

That may seem weird to most, but I can take a LOT of crap from people before I give them a strike, and I don't pass 'em out like candy, it's only for jerks, etc. I take crap, but when I have had my fill, I use this rule that we both had.

Evidently, I had already used my TWO and I wasn't aware, so that left me without my only brother.

"I say all of that to say this", (that is one of his favorite sayings, by the way) I know this is very long, but he was so strange I actually, literally, really and truly wondered what went on inside of that intelligent head of his. He was a very cold inside but outside he could be very witty and friendly. He would say that you shouldn't do this, but he would, and on and on. I never figured him out.
We did have a very violent childhood, maybe that screwed him up, it made some lasting impressions on me, but it hasn't affected the way I think and treat others, at least in a negative way.

I know, this is LONG, I will be surprised if you actually get a paragraph read, I understand though, it's O.K., I wrote this a little for me too, I guess.
So, even though in later years I knew my brother, he told me PLENTY of stories that I remembered, because, like you, I always remembered stuff a lot like you, he had a good memory too, but WHICH ONE of him was I talking to when 'he' remembered.

I couldn't say he was insane, but he was definitely very weird in some respects, so one never knows, even if you think you know. You know? heheh
He was different, and I have had a few other people in my life that acted like you said, they couldn't remember what they had said, they always made me, or tried to, feel as though it was me that was wrong. Most though, I never had that problem, but only a very few that seemed to be another person sometimes, maybe they were, I just know that it wasn't me that dreamed up the multiple worlds they lived in, I had my own world to live in.

It's um- ..

a reply to: DigginFoTroof

When we would go on summer vacation with our friends, we would get a house a couple doors down and I would remember all the guests at their house (their extended family), who was there what years, what cars they had, what we did, who got in fights and why, etc. I was young 9-18yrs old and was very observant especially b/c often it was like observing & interacting with zoo animals up close and personal. Years later, this family would argue about things that happened on vacation (often both were wrong) and I would explain what happened w/ intricate details (like replaying video in my mind) and they would look at me in amazement and both would agree that that was how it happened and now remembered it correctly. So this kind of memory has permeated much of my life and is both a burden and blessing, but it makes situations like the first conversation very odd and unsettling.

So you lead people to remember as you do.

Youtube videos do this often and a narrator leads the viewer, doing so switches off critical thought and its very easy to feed the mind with nonsense and it/you believe it to be true.

How memories are formed and then how we recall memories and what may effect this process all come into play.

Just because you had more detail which triggered the others to remember doesn't mean its how every thing actually played out.

Anyone else experience anything like these issues? I was wondering if it was alzhiemers but if that is the case then there are A LOT of people (like 40%+) I know who are exhibiting this and it isn't only with "older" people but even those who are 18-40 years old (along with people up to 70yrs old).

This whole post just reads like you are bragging and putting yourself above other you know that are in your life that have, to your perception changed on many levels as you got older.


I read your OP and the only thing that you can guarantee is that you have changed as you are aging.

You said many in your life are completely different people now that you are older compared to when you were child.


This arrogance is only blinding you

I have a different type of memory than most people I have met where I can remember conversations and details for very long times after they happen, often recalling exact phrases/words used - especially when the issue relates to me personally or is controversial. I've found many times people completely deny saying things which I know for a fact they said b/c after the conversation I ponder their statements and often recall it (internally) when I see them.

you cannot see the arrogance in this above?

Your right because your mind tells you and others are wrong because... well you remember better than others.

You know for a fact that people say things and then later they deny it?


How do you do this?

Do you always carry a voice recorder and record every conversation you have?


How else can you know for a fact?

Wow, it's somewhat comforting to hear that others are experiencing the same sort of thing that I am but over all it is more discomforting that it is happening as a whole. To the last reply above, I think you need to check yourself before calling people arrogant and manipulative or whatever. I'm not either of those in this situation and have no reason to be nor would I benefit by doing so and it make no sense to claim that I am other than to try to discredit the experience which others have said they have had similar as well. I wasn't leading them in anything. It is probably easier for me to remember first time experiences (the beach situation) because I didn't have 20-30 other vacations with which to confuse them, so my first experience I remebered clearly and didn't mix them up with the many years of vacation prior to that which my parents and their friends have had.


On another note, one of the strangest things which I have noticed and I seem to think it is Mandela like effect as well is how some people change from being very frugal to spending money on totally ridiculous things. A parent would salvage construction materials from dumpsters and use them to build things and you would never know they had been "trash". This was a standard for 30+ years. Then things started to change and after completely renovating a large utility room (ripped out concrete floor and rebuilt a beautiful room himself), he had some tile work done behind a stove and paid $6,000 for a 4ft long mantle piece of granite (that was ugly, didn't match the rest of the tile & rock and looked as if it had been broken and glued back together in 3-4 places). This is more than he paid for cars he drives for 10+ years and he said it was totally worth it (while we had 100's of pieces of beautiful 4"thick aged wood joists which would have looked much better in the room, all for free, and I can't understand how he would ever spend that money especially for what he got for it).

This same person use to not believe what was told in advertisements and commercials let alone what politicians said, but now when we discuss those statements made and how the commercials are usually trickery of some kind, I seem to be talking to a sales rep for the company and if I didn't know better I would think he was getting a commission for selling/talking about the product or the politician. At times it's like he has been replaced with a "bot" that has only learned from watching TV/Radio commercials and has discarded all life experiences that show products often don't perform as advertised. And when I confront this situation, he defends it fervently as if it is some religion and is afraid of being sent to a gaulag should he dissent from what the commercial claims. It is truly like bizarro world in so many ways.

"She required help doing a lot of things now "
I think that's your answer to the first lady and her "painful recovery from surgery". Some peeps lie to get what they want, then later forget that lie. There's some old saying along the lines of to lie well and get away with it you need a very good memory.

a reply to: DigginFoTroof

To the last reply above, I think you need to check yourself before calling people arrogant and manipulative or whatever.

Why?

I am very arrogant and its easy to spot.


Maybe you need to express yourself in a way that wont come off as arrogant and maybe not do things that could manipulate others and you wont have people pointing it out.

I'm not either of those in this situation and have no reason to be nor would I benefit by doing so and it make no sense to claim that I am other than to try to discredit the experience which others have said they have had similar as well.

Sorry but how you worded your experience is arrogant.

If my perception offends you then ignore it.

What you did with the others is a manipulative practice, Its not meant as negative its just how what you did can easily manipulate anothers thoughts and memories.


Its rather telling how you responded, you took arrogance and manipulative to mean something negative and got defensive.


Keep on looking outwards and finding all the faults you can, every wrong is external of you.