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When I make people work harder or better because they feel weird being lazy while I am beasting all the work around them like a psychotic animal, I get a sense of pride.
I feel blessed to able to inspire that on some level. They see how out of place it is to not just put 100% of yourself into things. They see it like I do for a second and I feel validated. I dont feel insane and alone for a while.
I am finally satisfied with me. I never thought I would be. I want to be free always.