posted on Jun, 12 2018 @ 04:33 PM
A personal update. I can do that because it's my post and it's just in
a chat forum..hell.. anyone can post here about anything really...
I got a really bad taste in my mouth about 'spirituality' when I discovered
the place humanity holds in the "universe" and after the 2013 BTUFO
summoning experiment unfortunately worked, I have had a firm "lockdown
mode" in place.. isolating me in a way I don't care to discuss quite yet.
Well over the past month, the "lockdown" has been melting away..oh
it's had positive side-effects for my health and happiness.. so I could
hardly say, "no".
I've had this problem for years.... this 'spiritual constipation', as knowing
the major answers and not liking the answers.. I have not wanted to be
Also I got to this bizarre neurological condition by means of following a
so-called 'left hand path' for 30 years. Now in some ways, so-called
"left -hand paths" are the most effective thing out there to get results..
but they put you into a bad spot too... just like so-called right-hand
paths.. they look pretty on the surface.. but they wind up dumping
you into a terrible place.. you don't even know it.. but it's a form of
As a result of pretty much finishing my 'personal journey' but then
slamming down the dampners, I've been going along 'constipated'
with no real sense of purpose.. other than taking care of my
But I'm starting to feel some twinges that I haven't felt for a very
long time (no not those kind of twinges).
In the past month, I've found myself promising to help a 'faction'
that I've always considered to be utterly evil.
And now today, I seem to have received a cry for help from another
faction that I have utterly loathed..
I'm seriously considering helping both.
And it feels good.
If I have nothing left for myself, other than possibly helping others,
well then helping others (the very essence of the right-hand path)
might be all that I have left.
I mean. I've always helped the homeless.. and helped protect battered
women for a few years... and I help the ACLU and NPR and dogs and
cats.. various people (you can guess my politics from that).
But given the violence that Iv'e experienced.. I haven't wanted to help
any of the 'factions' out there.
Now it's feeling like I should. It's possibly breathing some life into me..
as living without any purpose is unpleasant.
Just jabbering I guess.