Domestic violence where women are perpetrators - So little coverage of troubling issue

originally posted by: starwarsisreal
a reply to: hopenotfeariswhatweneed

The gender bias in court has nothing to do with female supremacy. It has a lot more to do with the old outdated sexist perception women are innocent creatures that will do no wrong and are the better parent while the man are typically the violent one and are unfit to be a parent.

When the family court system was set up, it was created at time when such perceptions were prevalent.

Wrong, it has to do with evidence.

a reply to: starwarsisreal

Then it's about time the courts updated their stance.

a reply to: InTheLight

a reply to: hopenotfeariswhatweneed

Institutional sexism is no new concept. One place we might not expect to see it is in the family court system. Unfortunately, it’s prevalent in our courts, even if it’s unintentional and we see it most often negatively impacting men in child custody arrangements and alimony awards.

Historically, family structures were different than they are now—women traditionally stayed at home with children, while men traditionally went to work. It was only natural the family court system developed in a more favorable way towards women when it came to child custody and financial disputes. The system is lagging to catch up to the way family dynamics have changed over the years.

Many states are trying to fix this issue by passing equal parenting time laws and with alimony reform. Florida recently tried to pass, albeit unsuccessfully, a bill that would both reform current child custody laws to a shared parenting plan and nix permanent alimony. At least 20 states in total have considered passing equal parenting time laws, but lawmakers don’t quite seem ready for such a change and we’ve got a long way to go.

familyblog.legalmatch.com...

While I sympathize with Men's Rights on many issues like gender bias in the courts, I believe they aren't seeing the real picture.

And yes I oppose SJW feminists/misandrists,however, in the case of gender bias in courts, it's not their fault they created it. Blaming them will not solve the problem. I do agree that they are ignoring the problem though.

a reply to: starwarsisreal

The real picture, is behind closed doors.

a reply to: DigginFoTroof

my ex-wife was verbally and physically abusive. there was no support for men back then. not sure if there is any help for men now. i hope that changes.

a reply to: starwarsisreal

The courts like everything else is a business, it suits them to keep the status quo, it allows for a lot of repeat business and keeps the money flowing through the system.

a reply to: subfab

Well Men's Rights are one such group that support men who experienced situations like these.

a reply to: InTheLight
I believe that if society stop seeing all women as innocent creatures that can do no wrong then abusive women won't get away with their abuse.

The sexist idea of women are pure innocent creatures predates the rise of the SJW movement. Now do I agree they ignore the issue yes? I agree and for that I condemn them but it's not entirely their fault.

a reply to: hopenotfeariswhatweneed

This is why Men's Rights and MGTOW are very popular. I think if the courts updated their system then they won't be as popular as right now.

originally posted by: starwarsisreal
a reply to: subfab

Well Men's Rights are one such group that support men who experienced situations like these.

a reply to: InTheLight

I sympathize with your situation and I am deeply sorry it happened to you but I believe that if society stop seeing all women as innocent creatures that can do no wrong then abusive women won't get away with their abuse.

a reply to: hopenotfeariswhatweneed

This is why Men's Rights and MGTOW are very popular. I think if the courts updated their system then they won't be as popular as right now.

I am not denying it happens, but if you look at the stats, women are not mostly violent.

originally posted by: InTheLight

originally posted by: starwarsisreal
a reply to: subfab

Well Men's Rights are one such group that support men who experienced situations like these.

a reply to: InTheLight

I sympathize with your situation and I am deeply sorry it happened to you but I believe that if society stop seeing all women as innocent creatures that can do no wrong then abusive women won't get away with their abuse.

a reply to: hopenotfeariswhatweneed

This is why Men's Rights and MGTOW are very popular. I think if the courts updated their system then they won't be as popular as right now.

I am not denying it happens, but if you look at the stats, women are not mostly violent.

I don't think anyone is saying that they are, fact remains that the minority of women that are violent get away with it because the system is behind the times.

originally posted by: hopenotfeariswhatweneed

originally posted by: InTheLight

originally posted by: starwarsisreal
a reply to: subfab

Well Men's Rights are one such group that support men who experienced situations like these.

a reply to: InTheLight

I sympathize with your situation and I am deeply sorry it happened to you but I believe that if society stop seeing all women as innocent creatures that can do no wrong then abusive women won't get away with their abuse.

a reply to: hopenotfeariswhatweneed

This is why Men's Rights and MGTOW are very popular. I think if the courts updated their system then they won't be as popular as right now.

I am not denying it happens, but if you look at the stats, women are not mostly violent.

I don't think anyone is saying that they are, fact remains that the minority of women that are violent get away with it because the system is behind the times.

The law allows for one to defend oneself, and I believe women store up their fear and lash out with the adrenaline flowing beyond what anyone has ever studied.

a reply to: InTheLight

Well I won't dispute some women do, especially ones that get beaten by the men in their lives.

I'm talking about the women who purposefully lie, manipulate and assault men knowing full well they will get away with it. As an example if a man goes into a police station to report being assaulted by a woman 9 out of 10 times will be laughed out of the station.

The law is not about truth and anyone who thinks it is , is somewhat naive.

Well I think we are going to see a massive ground swell in the support for men being at the receiving end of much of the abuse as in my years I have witnesses this to be the case about 95% of the time, as well as most everyone i know. The thing is, the reason the numbers are different is because men don't report the issue, because it can backfire on them and they end up with charges. I can count at least 10 times when a Gf should have been arrested and not once when I should have been and probably 30+ times where my friends were assaulted by "women" while they were never physical.

This last election has started to show women's true colors, at least the ones who are provocative and try to place blame on others. People of my generation are WELL aware that women cause much of the domesitc issues and there is a disproportiant amount of men being charged where women are at fault.

Women even take this abuse to the work place. I see women wearing slutty outfits and then comlplaining when men hit on them. Well why are your tit's hanging out if you don't want men looking. Don't tell me it's b/c the outfit is "fun" or it's their "style". these women are only doing it for reasons, either to get attention from others, or to use others advances against them. It's really that simple. I saw this happen all my years at college and many years after joining the professional world - then I was not involved in social work situations so I haven't seen it since as much.

The thing is that 10-40 years ago, women were looked at differently and over this time they have shown their true colors and the mask has been removed and it is going to come back and there is going to be a reckoning like you wouldn't believe.

a reply to: DigginFoTroof

Man its hard to read some of these replies.

Im in a similar boat. Luckily only one out of the 3 ive dated did. "Luckily." I cant believe im even saying that.

She slapped me accross the face a bunch of times. All i could do was give her a look of disapproval. She also liked to throw things at me.

The psychological abuse is by far the most insiduous. Not just women ive dated, but id say about 90% of women that im around in general literally eviscerate me on an emotional/spiritual level regularly. Just the other day my friend and his girl got into an argument. It was almost exclusively her cristicizing him. I did my best to not even listen and minded my own business. Suddenly she brings me into it. Says im a stubborn asshole like her bf. Says im an enotional manipulator and thats why I push people away. It was so bad my bartender who usually doesnt step in even told her to shut up. Needless to say, she has only known me for about a month...

Maybe its just the area i live in, I honestly dont know. They seldom ever admit or ecen allude to whst they believe about me (and believe me, theyre very certain of whatever horrific b.s. they believe about me to justify their extreme mistreatment). The few that have, its wuite literally appaling. They think im "posessed" by the devil or demons and even if thst were the case, rsther than helping, they do whatever they can to push me down, way down.

Just...very very disheartening. I dont know whether to be furious or what. Mostly sad about it I guess.

Let me tell you a story about verbal abuse turning into physical abuse.

While driving a school bus two boys were verbally abusing a boy for two days because of the hat his mom knitted him, finally he turned around and his fists flew.

They were going to blame him, but I said he suffered two days of torment and finally lashed out.

The result, was that everyone agreed he has a reason to lash out.

Find out what why.

a reply to: InTheLight

I dont disagree.

If you knew the extent to the verbal abuse and otherwise ive endured for over two decades, you'd probably think heads should roll.

I dont want that though. I want to believe that people havent been entirely themselves, and that ive been misinterpreting everything.

Sorry I just wanted to get that off my chest.

I hope the best for everyone, abuse isnt okay.

originally posted by: CreationBro
a reply to: DigginFoTroof

Man its hard to read some of these replies.

Im in a similar boat. Luckily only one out of the 3 ive dated did. "Luckily." I cant believe im even saying that.

She slapped me accross the face a bunch of times. All i could do was give her a look of disapproval. She also liked to throw things at me.

The psychological abuse is by far the most insiduous. Not just women ive dated, but id say about 90% of women that im around in general literally eviscerate me on an emotional/spiritual level regularly. Just the other day my friend and his girl got into an argument. It was almost exclusively her cristicizing him. I did my best to not even listen and minded my own business. Suddenly she brings me into it. Says im a stubborn asshole like her bf. Says im an enotional manipulator and thats why I push people away. It was so bad my bartender who usually doesnt step in even told her to shut up. Needless to say, she has only known me for about a month...

Maybe its just the area i live in, I honestly dont know. They seldom ever admit or ecen allude to whst they believe about me (and believe me, theyre very certain of whatever horrific b.s. they believe about me to justify their extreme mistreatment). The few that have, its wuite literally appaling. They think im "posessed" by the devil or demons and even if thst were the case, rsther than helping, they do whatever they can to push me down, way down.

Just...very very disheartening. I dont know whether to be furious or what. Mostly sad about it I guess.

I guess you should count yourself lucky if only 1/3 have acted that way and from what you have described, you got away easy. As far as you thinking that it is the area in which you live or the culture around you, I can say that that is not the case. I have lived in many area's across the country and it is the same everywhere I went. I have to say that I have met many women who were a delight to be around, but I was not in a relationship with them, and all the girls I dated all started that way as well. What I found most enlightening was meeting their ex's either while I was dating them or afterwards and most of my confusion cleared up very quickly as I had been made to think all the problems in the relationship had been my fault, but these guys went through the exact same thing, they thought they were wrong as well. It's the manipulation game that is played. They do whatever they want/can for as long as they can until they are called out, then they go into an all out offensive mode (que the physical attacks) and try to turn everything around on you. Then they try to get you scared of domestic assault to put you back in your place. If that happens the best thing to do is throw them out on the street as it's not going to get better (or go find your own place if you live at their place).

My one Gf who did this to me talked all kinds of $hit about her ex when we got together. I hated him for what he did to her, so I thought. Well we went round after round, her making me think it was my fault for having boundaries and rules in a relationship (simple things like no cheating, sleeping at guys houses, etc - not too far overboard IMO). Well I finally broke up after many fights. She told all her friends I was abusive and she started dating another guy within 2 days. I was hanging out with one of her friends and she pointed out that my ex was sleeping over at another guys place and asked if it bothered me (expecting me to go nuts). I just laughed and said I felt bad for the guy and was glad she found someone else. The girl had no idea how to react b/c it was 180 degree from what she expected from what she had been told (controlling, possessive, obsessive). It became clear to her that she had been lied to by her best friend (my ex)..

In the mean time, my ex was telling her new BF's fraternity how horrible I had been to her (like she did when I dated her about her previous BF) and got them to actually come after me. I had 20 guys show up at my apt after the bars closed (they were really drunk looking to fight) and they were armed with bats, 2x4's, chains, bottles, etc. IDK what they were expecting, it was just me and my roommate. I ended up getting into a fight with the new BF b/c of the things she told him and he thought I had really beat her for over a year. The fight got broken up after a while and my ex's old friend/roommate explained to them what really was going on and I ended up being friends with the new BF after he learned the truth (he broke up with her the next morning). Then my ex tried to get back with me later that day saying how sorry she was and she was glad "I stood up for her..." Well I don't have to tell you how long I kept the door open when she was talking to me. After like 3 more guys I guess she realized that I hadn't treated her badly b/c she kept asking to get back together, but IDK if it was for revenge or b/c she actually realized I hadn't been any of the things she was saying.

a reply to: MysticPearl

I told him that. He said he only takes the recordings anyway to make her a little more cautious while on camera.

He doesnt want to get her in trouble because he fears his kids will be taken into foster care.

He cant have sole custody. His criminal record would look like an abomination to a judge.

a reply to: DigginFoTroof

Damnit man, thats heavy. Im sorry that happened. Im glad you came up on top.

The gal that physically messed with me...it got so bad in terms of psychological abuse, well, one of ny best friends died and she showed me little to no empathy. In fact she regularly accused me of everything under the sun and attacked me daily. Long story short i ended up getting 5150'd. That was 10 years ago. I had no inklimg to hurt myself or anyone,i was just mentallly broken. It was horrific.

That relationship ended 9 years ago. I actually spoke to a guy (total egotistical idiot) about her roughly a year and a half ago.

I simply asked him if he knew who she was. Didnt mention that i had dated her.

His response?


"Oh yea haha! I was totally bangin her while her faggot ass boyfriend was off at college!"

I looked into his eyes, smiled, chuckled, then with a sudden serious look replied,

"Haha, yea, that was me..." 😐


Dude turned into stone before my eyes. He just froze.

That was satifsying, and it became suddenly clear why she was emotionally abusing me. Her guilt for cheating was destroying her, so she wanted so badly to believe i was somehow to blame, or that i was doing the same

. That was also the first time i heard that she had cheated.

There are few places for a man to go, and even less options if the police get involved.

In many states no matter what the evidence the man will be arrested, the cops wont want to but that's the law and they are stuck bringing him in even if he is beaten and bleeding.

ETA: I used to read up on these types of cases through a mens rights group I was associated with, had to stop and walk away from it all because it was leaving me so upset and was starting to color my opinion of all women. Not long after I met my wife and we are coming up on 11 years married, and expecting our first kid in September.

The happy ending is still possible, just never forget marriage is hard work, there are still good women out there, and dont let the demon you experienced eat at your soul or you risk becoming the thing you hate.

a reply to: CreationBro

Well I can't really say anything to make you feel better other than you are not alone. When I was in college I got to know 4 different sorrorities really well and knew 20-30 from each between being neighbors, my GF's room mates, working with them and being involved with greek life. What I found is that you can find out just about everything about them just by listening to them when they argue with each other because they will out each other at the drop of a hat. If one girl makes another angry, they'll bring up how they are cheating on XXX or were cheating with "every guy at the beach". I thought it was due to the greek culture but my last year of college I hung out with non-greeks and found it just as bad, if not worse (didn't have sisters to call them out or hold them accountable). It just seems to be the culture in general.

I was told by a bunch of the girls that if I thought my GF was cheating, she almost certainly was, and not to let her make me feel guilty. This was after they found out the my ex had made up lies for 18+ months about me and they thought I had been the asshole, when it was the opposite.

I had another GF that was going through personal issues (death in family) and we had broken up weeks before. She came over and wouldn't leave for like 5 days until I told her she wasn't welcome and had my room mate tell her to leave (wouldn't listen to me). She waited on the porch, pounding on the door, screaming lies (to make neighbors think I was doing bad stuff), pounding on the glass window in the door until it broke and she ended up with 67 stiches. I had to take her into the bathtub because she was bleeding so badly from her arm then took her to the hospital where she told me how F'ed up I was and this was all my fault (this is a diff GF than the college one). I was so thankful my room mate was there and witnesses the whole thing or else I fear she would have said I had pushed her into the glass. I left her at the hospital b/c she wouldn't stop blaming me and swearing at me. Luckily that incident ended that relationship for good.

I have about 40+ stories similar to these from all my brothers and friends and there is always a common thread, and I think everyone can guess what that is. When I was young and naieve I always heard sayings about the "fairer sex" that I didn't think were true until I had to learn the hard way. Life experiences trump all the protests and denials that are made and the guys I've met who have had similar experiences have the same or very similar stories and the opposite side always denies any fault.