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Lets make a story!

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posted on Mar, 7 2005 @ 02:01 AM
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........very large plasma rifle and aimed it in our hero's general direction.




posted on Mar, 7 2005 @ 07:28 AM
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But luckily our hero had a weapon of his own. He opened his bag and pulled out his potato gun. Wrong one he said, so he opened his coat like keanu reeves does on the Matrix to reveal his.....



posted on Mar, 7 2005 @ 12:02 PM
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..........member.......ship ID card from ATS...................Oh my god the bartender cried your one of them, yes our hero said......you dont mess with an ATSer. The bartender ran out the back followed by our hero, but when he stepped out of the pub he found himself stuck in............................



posted on Mar, 7 2005 @ 01:16 PM
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Quicksand, which had been placed there by his evil enemy, mister.....



posted on Mar, 9 2005 @ 07:45 AM
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Lava.....not to be confused with Mr. Lover, who can make you moan and scream (I hate that song), but a man who can change landscapes by pure thought.



posted on Mar, 9 2005 @ 12:54 PM
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So our hero decided to make friends with him so he could go into buisness with him as a landscape gardener. So they set up their buisness and they called it......






posted on Mar, 13 2005 @ 03:12 AM
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Rolling Hills Makeovers Co. (not to be confused with rolling stones, though our friend's mortal enemy turend business partner can do that as if the stone were a blunt).

Talk about keeping your enemies close......*shakes head*



posted on Mar, 13 2005 @ 12:05 PM
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Eventually the Rolling Hills company realized that it would be in the best interest of its stockholders to accept a hostile takeover by the Bollywood Babe concern and agree to do their landscape gardening for the movie moguls of the Indian subcondiment, who were in need of this service at their fabulous mansions up in the Himalayan foothills.

Most of the stockingholders and junk-bond recyclers at the meeting where the matter was discussed were willing to go along with this plan, but after several hours of heated debating over the details the building started to shake, as though the Big One had finally arrived, and everybody rushed out into the streets.

It was around 2 A.M., the streets were empty, the night was cold, a fine drizzle was starting to fall, a stray dog that had been sleeping next to the shopwindow of a tobacco shop suddenly stood up and it started howling at the full moon. The crowd of stockholders turned around to see what was going on. What had appeared to be a full moon was actually a humming spaceship with a ring of red and green lights around the middle. Mr. Ugglesbrock-Smithers, the accountant, took out his pocket pepper-gas pistol shaped like a fountain pen and said...



posted on Mar, 14 2005 @ 06:31 AM
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"Thank God I carry an extra pair of undies in the car, just for these type of occasions. "

Of course, this sure did confuse our poor hero, who decided that the crazy man with the bananna gun was one to follow around until the aliens landed for everyone's brains.



posted on Mar, 14 2005 @ 11:18 AM
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The powerful EM field around the ship made the banana weapon shoot a jet of banana-flavored gas straight at Mr. Uggins's face and he fainted, but this was not the tragedy it could have been. You see, by now the aliens had realized that it was a crowd of stockholders, not a herd of cows, so they moved on to greener pastures. However, before doing this they quickly beamed up the dog, which would furnish them with enough meat for several hamburgers and...



posted on Mar, 14 2005 @ 09:22 PM
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would go well with the kitty eggrolls they had just picked up in Vietnam.



posted on Mar, 15 2005 @ 12:07 AM
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The doggie burgers and kitty eggroles were too irresistable to our hero. His Achiles's heel was exposed. He boarded the aliens' vessel and yelled at the top of his lungs...



posted on Mar, 15 2005 @ 06:19 AM
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"Honey, I'm home!"
(Our intrepid hero had married an alien when he was abducted at the age of 12, and ony saw her twice afterwards--once, to have kids. He wasn't sure, but the smell of kitty eggrolls reminded him of his long lost wife.)



posted on Mar, 16 2005 @ 04:20 AM
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Meanwhile, back in the main headquarters of Bombay Bollywood Babes Inc. in blustery Mumbai...



posted on Mar, 16 2005 @ 09:56 AM
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a seductive actress danced her way across the set, killing her fellow cast members, as the producers and crew stared blindly at the massacre unfolding in front of their eyes.



posted on Mar, 17 2005 @ 05:08 AM
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They could hardly know that, when she was barely four months old, the dogburger-eaters had approached her cradle, like a wicked Fairy Godmother, implanted three devices (brain, neck, hip), and turned her into a remotely-controlled unit. Now they had ordered her to run amok to test her will, as they hovered nearby.

It was then that their meat grinder suddenly ground to a halt. A kidney stone was stuck between the cogs...



posted on Mar, 19 2005 @ 05:28 AM
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So he freed the kidney stone. But while he was having a drink to celebrate being free, he realised that he (our hero) had never been given a name.
So he packed his suitcase and flew to the nearest birth register type place.
He told them his problem and was told to pick a name.
So our hero called himself.........



posted on Mar, 19 2005 @ 08:42 AM
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*Trojan Man*.......nah, taken.
*Titicaca Maxims* ...... too vulgar.....
*Gabriel Michael* .....wayyyyy to religous an implication....
"Gorsh, I just dunno..."

"Josh Ira Durnow it is sir," said the bored clerk....
"Wha?????"
"Ok, Durnowa."



posted on Mar, 20 2005 @ 10:48 PM
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"Ok Mr. Durnow here is your paperwork, and ummm. . . there appears to be cat hair between your teeth and egg role crumbs on your shirt. What on earth have you been doing?!?!?!"

Just then our hero remembered the taste of the kitty egg roles, and his beloved cat back home. The memory of his furry little feline friend made him feel so guilty about having eaten those egg roles that he . . .



posted on Mar, 20 2005 @ 10:59 PM
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...became engulfed with rage. He reached into his pocket and pulled out those special pills that were given to him by the 'shadow' man just before the accident in his youth. He emptied the small container of pills into his mouth, and, as he choked them down, he remembered the shadow man's warning, "beware, with power comes responsibility." The pills instantly began to affect him. He reached over to the clerk,...



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