Penn school district to arm its 500 teachers with bats

a reply to: DBCowboy

Bats? Ah....so they can deflect the bullets as they fly down the hallway. Like a light saber. That has to be awesome to watch.

Good thing they are under lock and key too. When the shooter starts doing what shooters do, the staff can head down to the office and line up. They turn over their Bat Card one at a time, the Bat Master can verify they are current on all their federally mandated bat training, they then sign for their bat and head off to take action. This is good thinking. Accountability of dangerous objects needs to be first and foremost.

The problem is the kids develop a "bat culture". They see bats as a good thing. They watch baseball and start to idolize those who can hit home runs. This perverse indoctrination can only end in disaster.

originally posted by: DBCowboy
"Swing and a miss. . . . . . !"

That's what the bimonthly trip to the cages is for. And teachers must maintain a .300 average or face suspension.

Prediction: some kids will grab these and beat up desks if not people.
One more dumb idea.

a reply to: Asktheanimals

yeah
ole shaboz shabaz is gonna tune up his remedial math teacher when he says the answer to 5*8 is purple.

Bank of America should boycott bat makers.

Just say no to assault bats.

originally posted by: snowspirit
Bats against guns.

I can't even think of anything to say here........

The only defense against a bat snip whacko person with a firearm.

Is a sane person behind another one.

Laws,bats,knifes, and throwing temper tantrums won't cut it.

They want a common sense discussion without the common sense part.

Now, on the other hand, if they had nunchucks...
NUNCHUCK KID

originally posted by: ARM1968
a reply to: TinySickTears

Hopefully vampire bats!

16" vampire bats would be kind of scary. Probably best to keep them locked up.

What the hell are you going to do with a 16" bat? That's like a novelty souvenir.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

What the hell are you going to do with a 16" bat? That's like a novelty souvenir.

either test their reflexes or sodomize them
not much else

originally posted by: TinySickTears
either test their reflexes or sodomize them
not much else

I vote 'yes' on both.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

originally posted by: TinySickTears
either test their reflexes or sodomize them
not much else

I vote 'yes' on both.

yes but in what order

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

What the hell are you going to do with a 16" bat? That's like a novelty souvenir.

Test tractor tires to male sure they are aired up?

Drill it out and fill with some lead, maybe put a leather strap on the handle....thatll kill stuff. But a regular tire thumper in the hands of old Mrs. Smith is kind of funny in a sad and macabre way.

a reply to: bigfatfurrytexan


It's mental. They'll end up having it ripped out of their hands and then bonked on the head with their own tire tractor-tester.

a reply to: TinySickTears

More wasted tax payer money.

Bat Masterson would be proud.

Toy baseball bats VS guns...

Only the left could come up with something like this.

Is it just me or is getting harder to differentiate satire from the "news" lately?

The irony here is that these people are in charge of education.

originally posted by: Murgatroid
Toy baseball bats VS guns...

Only the left could come up with something like this.

Is it just me or is getting harder to differentiate satire from the "news" lately?

The irony here is that these people are in charge of education.

I saw the bats, 18" wtf are they supposed to do with them?!

Throw it?

I suppose if the students lay down some supressive fire with the box of rocks, the teacher can get close enough to whack the shooter's knee caps.

What's next in the arsenal? Rape whistles? Trained monkeys?

nothing like bringing a bat to a gun fight