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The Shed 19

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posted on Apr, 17 2018 @ 02:36 PM
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a reply to: LightSpeedDriver

Oh that song is heartwrenchingly beautiful! As I was listening it reminded me of David Foster Wallace's This is water speech.




posted on Apr, 17 2018 @ 03:36 PM
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a reply to: Night Star

Wonderful addition hun!



Respectfully,
~meathead



posted on Apr, 17 2018 @ 03:48 PM
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Gordi, that cat compilation was hilarious! Got your PM and replied!

Light, yay the neighbor from hell is moving! How wonderful for you and what a relief!!!

Joe, that was an awesome vid you shared with Light!

I slept the day away as I must be some sort of nocturnal animal or something.

JustMike, so great to see you joining us again!
I've never seen a Kangaroo unless it was at a zoo. I hear they are quite strong and wouldn't want to mess with one.



posted on Apr, 17 2018 @ 03:50 PM
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Dakini, I hope you found your unicorn by now!

Oh, thanks to those who enjoyed my latest story entry!




posted on Apr, 17 2018 @ 05:15 PM
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a reply to: Night Star
Kangaroos are tough. There is no such thing as a fat kangaroo. Animals that can jump a six-foot-high fence while doing a thirty-foot leap are not fat. They are pure muscle, with (unfortunately) very little brain. The average kangaroo is about as smart (??!!) as the average sheep.

I kid you not.

Kangaroos eat grass and whatnot. IOW, they're purely herbivores. An animal does not need to be very smart to eat grass. Its food won't run away and hide, after all.


Anyway, you most certainly would not want to mess with one, especially if it's a female and she views that you're threatening her baby. It doesn't matter if you are or not, only her perspective counts. And she'll quite literally jump all over you.

I think the video still lurks on youtube somewhere, but anyway... Some years ago, a female German tourist in Oz wound up in hospital because she grabbed a Joey (baby kangaroo) by the tail. Moma was not impressed, and entering stage left, she knocked the woman over then jumped up and down on her several times. Most vigorously, with a few front paw scratches thrown in for good measure.

The tourist spent about six weeks in hospital with broken ribs, lacerations, etc. Moma roo and her baby were fine.


The rule with roos is basically the same as with other, larger mammals: never get between a moma and her baby, and never, ever threaten her little one. If you do, expect to pay with a world of hurt!

That goes for humans, too... And rightly so.


edit on 17/4/18 by JustMike because: (no reason given)



posted on Apr, 17 2018 @ 05:39 PM
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originally posted by: LightSpeedDriver
...Rental company told me officially that my neighbour from hell is leaving...


Oh ya wee beauty!!!
I'm getting the whisky out. Yes, on a School night!
This needs a celebration!
Go LIGHT!



posted on Apr, 17 2018 @ 05:52 PM
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a reply to: LightSpeedDriver
Woooooooot!! That's great news! When is he leaving, Light?



posted on Apr, 17 2018 @ 05:53 PM
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a reply to: Gordi The Drummer
Ditto, mate. I have to go with Tullamore Dew (which is Irish) as it's all I have, but it's your cousin in this realm, so... It'll do!

ETA: No, wait! I have a bottle of Grant's Scotch Whisky I'd forgotten about! All is well...



edit on 17/4/18 by JustMike because: (no reason given)



posted on Apr, 17 2018 @ 06:28 PM
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a reply to: JustMike

I prefer the Tullamore Dew!
Nice, light, smooth & sweet!
Nothing wrong with the Grants, but I think the Tullamore is nicer!

slainthe!



posted on Apr, 17 2018 @ 06:36 PM
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Damn, the boys are partying and I have no booze. I'll have a couple of black russions for my Birthday tomorrow though.


Oh my goodness, I got to talk to Blue on the phone! What an awesome voice!
So soothing and nice!



posted on Apr, 17 2018 @ 06:47 PM
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a reply to: JustMike

Either that's one step up from a hotel mini bar bottle or you have enormous hands..

I bet you could palm a beach ball..wow!


--
Just got done eating dinner and am settling in for the New episode of Roseanne tonight!



Respectfully,
~meathead



posted on Apr, 17 2018 @ 07:43 PM
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originally posted by: Gordi The Drummer
a reply to: JustMike

I prefer the Tullamore Dew!
Nice, light, smooth & sweet!
Nothing wrong with the Grants, but I think the Tullamore is nicer!

slainthe!


Good morning.

I have two alcohol drinks that i practically can't drink. Whiskey and cognag. I drink them, if that is all there is and i want to be drunk, but the taste is not for me. If i some day travel to Scotland, and ask the bartender to give me a whiskey with coca cola and ice, am i going to get slaughtered by the kilt squad?



posted on Apr, 17 2018 @ 07:57 PM
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This was meant to be a continuation to something...
As Driver fell into a deep but troubled slumber he held on to a thought he could not rid himself of. "Now..." His sleep was restless and troubled, visions of demons and apparitions filled his dreams. He awoke a few times and turned over, pulling the covers tighter each time in the hope to retain as much energy for the day ahead. He summoned an old friend in his sleep in the hope she would help. "Please, be there..."

It felt as if he had slept for less than half a night when he heard a knock at his door. Driver hated being wakened. By anyone. Staggering like an old man towards the door he mumbled almost incoherently to the unseen knocker. "Coming..." Upon opening his door he saw that there was no one outside. Grumbling to himself he walked back to his bed and sat down heavily and grabbed his tobacco pouch clumsily. His internal alarm clock had awoken him, not an unusual occurrence. He rolled a cigarette and lit it, sucking heavily on the fumes and took a large swig of the mug still half-filled with yesterdays coffee. "Three coughs for coffee" he thought to himself.

Clothing himself in the strongest leather he had he slowly readied himself for the task ahead in the hope that his old friend would be there to help him as he could not perform this task alone. A sense of dutiful fatality filled his mind. "So be it." Fully clothed and half awake he exited his room and walked towards the hall. No sounds were audible apart from the creaking of the floorboards and the occasional snore that other Sheddizens were making, all asleep and peacefully dreaming. "Good" he thought to himself. "No one need see this." He walked into the main hall and took a bottle of Old Cobblers Noggin from behind the bar. The bartender was long gone at this ungodly hour. A stool scraped slowly on the floor behind him. His summoning had been heard. "You ready?" he asked without turning around. "Aye." came the response from behind him. He gulped down his beer quickly, time and surprise was of the essence. He turned to the source of the noise. In the dark corner a hooded figure was standing. In the dim light he could see little more than a shadow but knew who it was. She stepped forward and lowered the hood of her cape. It was as if the room lit up with blood red. Relieved and grateful he shook hands with his old battle partner Cynwrig. She had the name of a man but she was a woman. A Celtic woman so fierce and so brave that any man that stood against her was no longer living. Her skin blood red, her eyes a piercing emerald green that seemed to burn right down to the soul. Few that had stood in the light of those eyes in anger had lived to tell the tale.

Sucking down the last of his beer Driver and Cynwrig walked outside. They conversed briefly in a language almost forgotten. Enemies, should they be listening, would have understood nothing. Driver gave his loudest whistle and 20 seconds later 3 dragons were on the ground in front of him while Cynwrig screamed a guttural sound. 50 yards in the distance a rumbling could be heard in the ground. The earth crumbled and a shape formed, then another and then another. The golems were a sight to behold as they rose from the ground, the early sunlight warmed their rock bodies and cast an eerie silhouette. Scissors, Paper and Stone stood tall and flexed their creaking joints while looking at Cynwrig.

"You take Stone and let the other two follow." Driver said to Cynwrig. "I'll be in the air giving support." She nodded and jumped nimbly via Stone's leg onto his back. She needed no harness.
Driver looked at the three dragon sisters wondering which one would allow him today. "Ok ladies, as you were. Which one of you will carry me today?" Firestone blinked her fiery eyes at him. The choice was made. He loved them all but it was best to leave the fiery ladies to make their own choice on certain days, dragons can be feisty at the best of times. As he climbed onto her back the smell of sulphur was strong in the air. It almost made his eyes water but at the same time it filled him with confidence. There was plenty of fire.

Sitting atop Firestone he said "Ladies, thank you. Today will not be a reccy (an English word for reconnaissance) but a wrecky. Listen to our voices, we are only here to guide. And please, do your worst. This is but the first battle but we must be decisive and brutal. Dragonimo!" Driver tapped Firestone gently with his heel and she started to flap her wings, slowly at first and then with a power that made the air rush. They rose into the air followed closely by Hellfire and Brimstone. The unholy trinity was airborne.

On the ground Cynwrig had done the same. Atop Stone, the largest of the golems, they set off at a seemingly lumbering pace but golems are big and distance is nothing for rock creatures. Stone first, Scissors second and Paper third. Even from a height Driver could hear the earth shake and rumble as they ran towards the enemy. "Thank the gods for friends" he thought to himself all the while scanning the horizon for signs of movement. After a few minutes Firestone twitched slightly, a sign she had seen something in the distance. Driver squinted, his eyes much worse than a dragons eye. "Here we go... keep formation ladies!" he shouted as loud as he could. It was difficult to shout when the air was being ripped from his lungs, the dragons were fast. He grabbed on tighter to ready himself. In the distance he could see an army but not any detail. All he knew is that it was here and now.

"Now Hellfire!" he said as he directed her towards the ground. The first blast of fire killed the front line of the marauding army without giving them time to scream. A peaceful death. Brimstone and Hellfire took out the stragglers along with the second and third rank in a flash but he knew they weren't done yet. Looking down he could barely make out the shapes that were about to die but judged them to be Orcs. Large and muscular and quite fearsome. He tapped gently on Firestone's neck to indicate she needed to circle and gain height once more. As he did so he signalled to Cynwrig.

Cynwrig was on Stone's back as he lumbered down the field, she tapped him on the shoulder before sliding down onto his left leg. Stone continued moving forward but transformed himself into a ball protecting Cynwrig in the process. Gaining momentum he rolled into the next wave. Bodies flew everywhere. Stone was unstoppable. It was almost as if someone was having a game of deadly bowls. Screams, groans and silence filled the air. Scissors sliced into those still left standing sending severed limbs in all directions. As the cavalry advanced Paper flew into action. She was called Paper due to the light but painful slicing she possessed. The horses fell, the riders killed underneath the weight of their own horses. The only sound was if anything, a slow, painful gurgling.
As Driver and the dragon sisters circled back round he could see more danger. Stone uncurled and released Cynwrig from his protection. Even from this height Driver could see the light in her eyes. 2 green lanterns burning ferociously in the dim morning light. "I pity them" he thought to himself. "Still, one for all, all for The Shed."
edit on 17/4/18 by LightSpeedDriver because: Typo



posted on Apr, 17 2018 @ 07:58 PM
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"Ladies, please, let it burn!" he shouted to the dragons. The air crackled as the three sisters unleashed their hellish inferno on the ground below. The day had just begun but even the sun was no comparison to the blinding dragonfire. He knew that this wouldn't be enough but it was a start. As the fire and smoke dissipated he could still see a battalion of demons running towards Cynwrig.

Cynwrig was a warrior and could shoot arrows better than any Elf. Within 5 seconds she had downed 20 demons with a single shot. Her arrows were blessed with magic, and poison. Her gaze made most of them stand still and reconsider their attack but by then it was too late. The demons not struck by arrows were unmercifully mowed down by her sword, fashioned from a mystical metal that no human had ever held. The stench from their wounds filled the air but Cynwrig didn't care. Red mist and teeth bared she lunged forward fearlessly. A few demons tried to escape but only a fool would run from Cynwrig. Running was futile. Between kills, all the while supported by the golems, she darted from foe to foe singing the song of her people. She made it look easy.

Driver pitied the demons but at the same time realised it was not their fault, a greater evil had summoned this army and this evil had not yet shown itself. That day had still yet to come.

Driver waved at Cynwrig and she stared back at him. "Move back! It's time for clean up!" She jumped back onto Stones back and the golems retreated. "OK ladies, burn the evidence, they smell!" he cried. In the last wave the dragons incinerated all the stinking corpses leaving nothing but ash and scorched earth. All traces of evil beings, battle and blood were gone. Satisfied, Driver tapped Firestone gently once more and she circled back towards the Shed. She had plenty of fire left in her but Driver wanted to keep the best till last. "Thank you my dears. The chili's on me."



posted on Apr, 17 2018 @ 08:03 PM
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a reply to: LightSpeedDriver

Bravo!

I savored every word like a fine delectable chocolate!

Thank you for sharing !





Respectfully,
~meathead
edit on 17-4-2018 by Mike Stivic because: well done my friend!



posted on Apr, 17 2018 @ 08:12 PM
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a reply to: Mike Stivic

Thank you my friend. This one was a lot of fun to write. The freedom of knowing that the scumbag next to me is going "soon" helped me release it. Just a shame that ATS wouldn't let me post it all in one post. I thought I had broken something (I always blame myself first!) until I realised it was prolly just too many letters. Damn computers!



posted on Apr, 17 2018 @ 08:24 PM
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a reply to: LightSpeedDriver

Just think how much writing you can get done without that idiot blaring his music and ruining your serenity..


/afestivusfortherestofus-fortheworstandthebestofus--superduper-starshiptrooper-electricscooter-reallifeblooper-inthetropics-catotonic-platonic-alwayst rying-highflying-admiringthehighwire-hugs !


Respectfully,
~meathead
edit on 17-4-2018 by Mike Stivic because:




posted on Apr, 17 2018 @ 08:35 PM
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a reply to: JustMike

Supposedly it was the 15th but he's still here. He pissed over the toilet floor yesterday, my last present from him I guess cos the floor was clean for the last few months and there's only one guy that pisses over the floor here but this was deliberate. A big middle finger to me I guess. Hey, I didn't clean it with his head which is what I really, secretly, deep down on the inside wanted to do. I'll wait till he's gone before I mop it up.


We all got a mail from the rental company saying we were getting an inspection on or after the 17th. Our rooms are meant to be clean and presentable and they have the keys to enter even in our absence. One of the downsides to this temporary housing BS. We're not allowed to smoke in the building but cough cough I never smoke inside the building. Ever. Wink wink. I'm guessing he is leaving very soon and the stress is leaving me quickly just in the knowledge of that. I hope I get a nice person next to me. I've been in this temporary 6 years, this guy is the worst and most anti-social person I have ever experienced in all that time. Even a junkie isn't this crazy and I've seen a junkie or two in these 6 years. They don't last long though.

Being the questioning kind of person I am, I googled his symptoms. He is either a narcissist, a megalomaniac or a psychopath. I suspect the first. It's a psychological condition that I'm sure he won't admit to. I wish his new neighbours luck but I will be glad to see the back of him. I've been patient for 6 months, had the police called on me for no reason 3 times and eventually patience is a virtue which I think I might have eventually momentarily lost. The beer kept me calm. I think someone up there is sometimes smiling down on me.



posted on Apr, 17 2018 @ 08:36 PM
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a reply to: LightSpeedDriver

I am absolutely delighted that your neighbour is leaving. A song or two here and there is normal behavior but constant noise terror is infuriating and shows total disrespect of other people's peace and quiet.

You deserverd this
Better times are ahead for you.



posted on Apr, 17 2018 @ 08:41 PM
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a reply to: Night Star

Birthday? Well that sounds like a good excuse for a party if ever there was one. It make me want to go to the medicinal coffee shop. But I can't but I will be there in spirit!
How young will you be this time around? I know, we're not allowed to ask a lady that question but still, I posted ugly photos of myself.


ETA And I posted a photo of my wood!
edit on 17/4/18 by LightSpeedDriver because: ETA



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