For the Men.

originally posted by: Justoneman
If it's any consolation, you might be a good guy. I like your thinking often, from what I read.

Awww, thanks. I may eat you last-ish.

originally posted by: CreationBro
Just busting your nuts man, you already know.

See above.

a reply to: zosimov

Bravo -- for a beautiful OP and for all the good guys!!!


My husband is one of these good guys and I feel blessed every day.

I once got a phone call from his number, and I answered with my usual, "Hi Sweetie!", only to hear an anxious young woman's voice say, "Your husband said I could call you and make sure it's okay for him to help me..." He found her broke down on the side of the freeway with two young children in the middle of summer, and he couldn't get her car going, so he let her call her husband on his phone, and gave her and her kids a ride to the nearest Jack in the Box to wait for her husband... He even bought them some food while they waited.

And just as my hubby learned from his dad, my son has learned for his dad... and my son is one of the good guys too. Perhaps best of all, my daughter learned well also, and picked another good guy for herself.

And now I'm going to go make that man some breakfast... I think I'll even give him a treat and make his eggs over easy... and tell him how much I appreciate him.

Thanks, Zos. This is a great OP and it's much appreciated!!!

How about people just be kind, courteous and respectful of and to one another without regard for their physical form?

a reply to: zosimov

My chivalry only extends so far- Never trust a woman with your money, I learned the hard way . I will help women but i'd trust a kleptomaniac before I trust another woman with money. Can't reach something in the shopping isle? Sure lass, here you go. Need your car pushed out of flood waters? no worry lady, i'll help you. Need five bucks? take a hike.

If you had a set of "good parents" that taught you simple manners when dealing with the opposite sex........we became the men you speak of. And we are a dying breed.

a reply to: zosimov

Thanks for the post. I have noticed an uptick in aggression from the gentler sex both in person and on the road. Seems they've been sold a bag of goods.

originally posted by: zosimov

For the men who see women in need of help and stop to help, thank you. I remember when I was traveling with my son and too much luggage, and two different men stopped at the airport to see if I needed any help. I was touched by the gestures at a place where everyone is usually rushing to and from, or absorbed with travel, anxiety, excitement, etc.

Beautiful OP!

And not just about the man/woman dynamic, but about the restoration of trust and kindness.

It also applies to helping neighbors, the elderly and all.

* I will say this though on the luggage thing. I have travelled internationally and you never want to let strangers help with luggage, especially in arrivals, you might not see your luggage again.

a reply to: zosimov

Thank you.

It's disappointing, but over the years, I have groomed myself not to be as offering as help as I want to be because of the reactions of some, and my fear that women will think that my offers of help will be seen as a creepy creeper trying to creep on them. But when helping is a natural reaction instead of something that I think about before doing, I do it every time, and generally it is accepted well.

But, it's hard to ride that fine line these days for the reason that you point out--some women are either so ungrateful or even angry and hostile that I would even think that they might need my help that it almost becomes more of a burden than a good experience for anyone.

My adaptation has been that, if my wife is with me, she will approach first, and then I'll come in and help if the woman needs it. It's sad that it has come to that--that I need to use a woman buffer to 'soften the blow of offered help'--but here we are.

People who don't think that the world is moving in the wrong direction as it pertains to societal interaction and viewpoints simply are not paying attention. As corny as it sounds, this is a silent struggle for the good, helpful men out there.

Thank you for the thread--it's nice to know that it doesn't go unappreciated all of the time, and that viewpoints from women on the subject can change or soften.

originally posted by: soberbacchus

* I will say this though on the luggage thing. I have travelled internationally and you never want to let strangers help with luggage, especially in arrivals, you might not see your luggage again.

And it can cause problems with the airport security if you've let strangers handle your luggage.

a reply to: zosimov

yeh when things like that happen then you have to ask yourself , is this coincidence or is the universe just totally got my back !

Nice to know there are people out there who still see the value in our humanity

I will always be kind to others no matter who they are
I couldnt imagine my life any other way , plus life is to easy to be mean and nasty to everyone it requires zero effort
to be a dick !

whereas to overcome your own problems in your own world and suspend that for a moment or two to help others often does take an effort but it is much more rewarding

as les misanthrope said , ego or no altruism or no , either way it makes people happy and that is all that matters !

as for the reactions from others towards your compassion or chivalry then that is on them! as your kindness comes from the heart
so its on them to feel a kind of ways for you offering them "HELP"

a reply to: 0001391


at the same time if women want to give props to men for supporting them , then let them , it helps to promote good male values in the sea of absolute egotesticles

I thought it was polite for anyone to open a door for others?

a reply to: zosimov
What a beautiful post. Thank You. Chivalry is not dead, but as you said, it is under appreciated, and often times, just plain unwanted, and mistakenly taken as insulting.

Since I was a teenager, I have always held the car door for my dates.
It's important.

It says to them: I respect you...You have value...You are safe with me...I, alone, control your entrance and exit from this windowless van.

a reply to: IAMTAT


Right? Nothing says 'Shhhhhh, I love you' more than a bar napkin doused in chloroform.

a reply to: neutronflux

You're right, opening doors is polite and still a common courtesy, not an altruistic act worthy of praise.

I always open doors for people, and people (kids included) open doors for me. It is much more common here for a person to hold the door for a stranger than not.

Chivalry is easy to recognize when it happens, but was difficult for me to put to words. I mentioned opening doors first but that is not the best example of chivalry, I'll admit.

The flat tire wasn't the best example either- my (female) friend and I have stopped to help an old man change his tire before.

My sentiment wasn't meant to imply that no one ever helps each other anymore.. it was recognizing a really marvelous masculine impulse (the two men who saw me in the airport overloaded and with my young son and stopped to ask if I needed help were chivalrous. They (most likely dads themselves) saw a young mom looking overwhelmed where no one else saw that.)

originally posted by: zosimov
...my (female) friend and I have stopped to help an old man change his tire before.

'Old man' is no longer appropriate, DB prefers 'chronologically ancient'.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

Lol, was also laughing at referring to myself as a "young mom." That was a bit of a stretch but I'll keep it anyway.

a reply to: zosimov


I believe the youngfolk call those 'MILFs' these days.