Good manners, the cost of having them in a world filled with people without them.

The level of #isem really is at epidemic levels, I certainly notice it more and more, someone asks you for direction then simply walks off head burred in phone.. And here in lines the issues, I have a honestly held belief that social media makes people this way.


It is already fairly well know that social media is changing human interaction and this is a knock on from that.


Also the fact that IQ is dropping I guess has something to do with it...


RA

a reply to: nickovthenorth

I have good manners but apparently not having grey hair makes me a young ruffian that has no respect.

I hold doors for the elderly, I get them grocery items they cannot reach...but yet some old folk barge past me and in one case I had an elderly woman literally push her shopping trolley at me for no reason whatsoever, i'm guessing it's because i'm young (well mid thirties is considered young these days) so what was she thinking? It must be the violent video games I play.

I was taught manners but apparently as you get older manners and respect goes out the window for some.

originally posted by: nickovthenorth
good-manners
Noun

(plural only)

The treatment of other people with courtesy and politeness, and showing correct public behaviour.

You should omit the word "public" altogether perhaps, or do you think it's OK to be a dick in private?

E.g. In most countries, it is considered to be good manners to offer your seat to an elderly person on crowded public transport.

An elderly person who is rude and who behaves with an entitlement mentality is no more deserving than any other disrespecful individual imo.

Because someone has been round the sun a few times more than others is not a good enough reason to be treated as special. Respect is paramount from all sides.

Good manners, ask any good mannered person what they cost and they 100% will reply with "nothing"

Do not speak for so many others, it is ignorant.

My cost is respect. Without that I have no obligation to be polite. That does NOT mean I am automatically rude though.

Thanking someone for letting you in/out of traffic, now I'm not asking for a thank you card or flowers just a quick wave or a smile or even a nod even just to acknowledge the act if not for anything but to show you aren't a complete bell end.

So the reality is, you expect payment for your action and revert to insults when you aren't paid. The gesture was not for them but was actually for yourself.

Hypocritical much?

Perhaps you should get used to failing and accept that nobody is perfect or perhaps happy enough to care about you.

Seems to me you expect the world to bend to suit your own personal needs. A viscious circle indeed.

I understand your rant but think it needs a dose more reality and perspective so you don't mistake bad manners as a direct attitude towards you rather than the reflection of what others see in you.

Cheers, and enjoy your thread.

a reply to: nerbot

You should omit the word "public" altogether perhaps, or do you think it's OK to be a dick in private?

No i do not think its OK to be a dick in private, the line you quoted was intended to imply this with the AND with CORRECT

"The treatment of other people with courtesy and politeness"...implying everyone in public and private, "AND showing CORRECT public behaviour"

How people behave in private is not what the rant was about.

An elderly person who is rude and who behaves with an entitlement mentality is no more deserving than any other disrespecful individual imo. Because someone has been round the sun a few times more than others is not a good enough reason to be treated as special. Respect is paramount from all sides.

On this point i agree, however someone who has been around the sun a few more times than you will no doubt have weaker muscles, joints and bones than you and could be seriously injured in a fall on a bus...personally i'd opt to be the bigger man and move.

Sorry but most of the rest of what you said just is an opinion of me that you have come up with in your mind that has no bearing on my reality so is moot as far as i am concerned, but thanks for the input.

a reply to: Thecakeisalie

100% age should have no bearing on good manners, I'm only 39(very close to 40 though...sigh...but hey 40's is the new 30's right...RIGHT...).

strangely enough given the op i wasn't taught good manners at home growing up and as a result was quite selfish and self centered when i was younger but decided long ago that i would change especially once my son was born who I'm pleased to say is a pleasant good mannered young man, we made sure of it!

My son and I play those violent video games too, we are itching to get some real life violence on because of them /s

Hi i am new here,but i wish to say,maybe it is best to just keep being yourself. If you are nice or reasonable to other people and they choose to be rude just walk away. Not in a horrible way but just as in, I am sorry you are going through a hard time,i also have problems,life is not easy. To not be rude back,but to just let them know every one has problems,you know?

originally posted by: intrptr

If you stop being courteous the cretins will win.

Be mannered for manners sake, not for reward.

Heck yes brother. I feel you all the way.

I am a very selfish individual. When I am kind and courteous, it is simply for myself. I could care less what the reaction or level of appreciation from the recipient is. It is just a mode of operation to always be considerate of others and to be fully aware of my surroundings at all times.

If other people don't appreciate my mindfulness, it is not my problem. Like opening the door for a person, I do it for all people regardless, but some of the younger females seem to get upset by that act, which just makes it more enjoyable for me.

This world will never beat me into submission. I will live through honor and respect until my dying breath. Even for those who don't deserve kindness and respect, I will simply ignore them to the best of my ability with no retaliation necessary.

a reply to: nickovthenorth

This is why I'm a recluse. I highly recommend it.

originally posted by: nickovthenorth
.... the line you quoted was intended to imply this with the AND with CORRECT

You're not making sense.

I don't expect thanks or appreciation and haven't for a long, long time. Don't even bother sticking around long enough to see if appreciation is in the offering. Getting miffed because someone doesn't say thanks when I hold the door open just makes me more stressed out. I don't need that because working retail is already crushing my soul, heh.

a reply to: ClovenSky

Thanks for an inspirational post.

If other people don't appreciate my mindfulness, it is not my problem. Like opening the door for a person, I do it for all people regardless, but some of the younger females seem to get upset by that act, which just makes it more enjoyable for me.

Harder when they turn and 'bite'.

I remember walking my grocery cart to the checkout , a girl was blocking the aisle with her cart so people couldn't pass. As I approached I waited for her to move, then politely said excuse me, to which she quipped, I could go around.

"I cant, you're blocking the aisle." She meant go all the way around the whole aisle to get to the other side of her. I almost jaw dropped, all she had to do was move forward in line to clear the aisle so others (piling up behind me) could pass.

I lost it. She was a little heavy and I said, you mean all the way around you? She got flushed and moved the little bit.

But I could tell I bit her where it hurt. I hurt her feelings about her weight and I shouldn't have. I let her pull me down to her level, I became like her.

Shame on me.

Good manners is a reflection of your personality. It defines YOU. If others don't reciprocate don't let them into your head. It's not about them. If they do reciprocate receive it and acknowledge that you've come across another with the same values.

As to the dog, give the leash some slack. Let the little bastard get the scare of it's little life. That's not about manners. That's an asshole owner that hasn't taught it'd dog properly. Give it pause not to do it again.

I lend money to my coworkers only for them to quit and never pay back. I lost a lot of money.

It seem a lot of people have bad habit when it comes to borrowing other people's money.