Good manners, the cost of having them in a world filled with people without them.

good-manners
Noun

(plural only)

The treatment of other people with courtesy and politeness, and showing correct public behaviour.

E.g. In most countries, it is considered to be good manners to offer your seat to an elderly person on crowded public transport.

Good manners, ask any good mannered person what they cost and they 100% will reply with "nothing" which is true to a point, but if like i did today sometimes you let people without good manners get in your head then the cost may surprise you way more than you expect.

Some examples of what i would consider good/bad manners and personal pet peeves(hence the rant).

Thanking someone for letting you in/out of traffic, now I'm not asking for a thank you card or flowers just a quick wave or a smile or even a nod even just to acknowledge the act if not for anything but to show you aren't a complete bell end.

Not keeping your little rat of a dog in check while I'm trying to keep my leashed 75lb German shepherd from tearing it to bits because its barking, growling and snapping at her legs, but its OK because its only small....let me enlighten you piss stain.... its not OK no matter the size or bread of the dog if i just thought sod and let my dog do as it pleases with no restraint id have the police round my house and she would more than likely be taken away!

Standing to one side on a narrow pavement to let a mobility scooter pass, again a smile, nod a quick thanks....hell even make eye contact for Christ sake but NO the obese bint thinks shes the queen or something with her move out my way peasant look on her face.

Now we come to the cost, the examples above have all happened to me today, which right or wrong i am ashamed to admit had me in foul mood, which in turn led to me and the Mrs arguing, to me driving angry and bumping my car (my fault...please don't drive angry folks).

Now i have had chance to calm down though i'm concerned that i let this stuff make me and my wife fall out and if god forbid my bump was worse that things had been left said in anger that could never be taken back and that to me is a cost not worth paying.

So from know on i have vowed to try my very best to not let ignorant ill mannered people ever get in my head again and just dismiss them for the useless dregs on society that i now will always deem them to be.

End rant, peace out folks.

If you stop being courteous the cretins will win.

Be mannered for manners sake, not for reward.

Good rant

Some people believe they are entitled to be treat with good manners. This feeling of entitlement makes them inconsiderate in their reciprocation of those manners, they don't realise it is supposed to go both ways. It's pretty ignorant.

Most people are missing more than good manners, like common sense and just a basic level of awareness.

It's like wading through a sea of autonomous brain dead mechanical assholes.

a reply to: intrptr

Oh i definitely agree and i will still always use good manners my self, to be fair the rant was more what the cost of letting those without them get to you could be.

Its not that good manners should be rewarded in return, but it would be nice for them to at least be acknowledged.

a reply to: nickovthenorth

I always wonder why they are the way that they are. What is going on in their lives to make them seem so miserable. Regardless, I didn't cause it (I don't think so anyway) and to be mean or rude just for the sake of it is, in my opinion, just being lazy or seeking attention. I think some folks are so wrapped up in their issues and problems and demons that they truly feel as if they are the most important person on the planet and only they matter, the rest of us are just in the way. So many folks seem miserable at their jobs, in their relationships, angry that they even woke up it seems.
I try not to let them get under my skin either. I may never run into them again. There is an older person who works the 'fast lane' at the one of the grocery stores here, one day she is friendly and nice and happy and the next day she just seems as if she is put out by the people in her line, slamming things around and just being generally nasty. I think she may have some sort of emotional/mental issue or something and not even realize her behavior.
I just giggle under my breath and hold sometimes hold my breath because I am never sure which one I'll get. The nice lady or the mean lady!

yeah people definitely seem to be more self absorbed, selfish and ignorant these days i don't know if its technology or upbringing or combination of both but society definitely seems to be slipping imho anyway or has it always been this way and i just didn't notice?

a reply to: nickovthenorth

I gave that up, am pleasantly surprised when someone actually does it.

Todays generations have a sense of entitlement. They expect you to be nice to them because they deserve it.

When I am backing out of parking spaces I look both ways and begin backing when suddenly I am forced to slam on the brakes because somebody walked behind me suddenly from the blind.

I almost run you over dupe, they walk on as if unconcerned. Are they lost in thought or just testing fate?

Are all if I hit them accidentally they can sue from their hospital bed right?

I am with you all the way my friend.
You have nothing to rant about, you're one of us good ones.
Just don't get me started on Parents emerging frim behind parked cars pushchair first.

a reply to: Cymru

Oh that one should have gone on the list Ive had this happen as well and they look at you as though your in the wrong too!

If their little johnny or jane is so damn precious why push them blindly in front of a one and a bit tonne of metal doing #cough# 30?

a reply to: TNMockingbird

One of the most rudest places for me to go to is the grocery store. I don't think it is on purpose, I just think people are so concentrated on their "lists" or planning what to buy budget wise that they forget there are others around (well, mostly I don't think it's on purpose).

People run you over with their carts, stand in front of a section for what feels like hours and you have to wait until they move to get your one item that would've taken 5 seconds to grab. I've even say "excuse me, I just need to grab this real quick" after waiting some time and they give you the stink eye for interrupting their trance like state or don't even acknowledge you and you continue to wait.

Mostly though I have good experiences with practicing manners. The weird thing is people act surprised by you doing something nice for them. Like having manners is odd? And sometimes they seem to think you have ulterior motives..lol. You can see the "what do you want from me?" question on their face.

But I am always more forgiving of cashiers. You have to deal with only a few minutes of rudeness and self absorbed, in their own world people. They have to deal with 8 hours of it. And they can't leave or be rude back. So I try (and I'm sure you do as well) to make the check out experience a bit better for them when I'm in their line.

Thanks!
blend

a reply to: blend57

Being a Cashier got me through University.
Theres probably a book in it from what I saw

a reply to: nickovthenorth

This is an ongoing, constant situation for me, to the point one person nearly ended up sporting a nasty hole in them. The most recent one: They pulled into a parking spot next to where my butt is out of the car, almost hitting me, and then THEY tell me I have a bad attitude.

Screw having good manners, and give these little SOBs what they truly deserve.

Hannible Lecter had his own unique way for dealing with the uncouth masses.
Extreme sure but unique.

I try to be as courteous as possible in life and not only for benefit of others but for myself as well.
a reply to: nickovthenorth

Some days, when you have your good deeds ignored or expected even when they do not need them, you get kind of cranky. I can relate to the OP. Try to do good things for the neighbors and then they expect you to do them all the time and they go out and have fun while you do their work. You mow their grass because they are busy and then they call you up and ask when you are going to mow their grass and never offer to help you when you need it.

I have to quit discussing this or I will get depressed.

Don't expect thank you's and you wont be disappointed.

Do unto others, but don't expect them to live by the same rules. They typically don't. They have fallen socially and don't want anyone to help them back up. Life is easier when you're an a**hole and, just like all the other dredges before them, they go for the path of least resistance.

When dealing with others, expect the worst while hoping for the best.

You can't fall off the floor, my friends.

originally posted by: rickymouse
Some days, when you have your good deeds ignored or expected even when they do not need them, you get kind of cranky. I can relate to the OP. Try to do good things for the neighbors and then they expect you to do them all the time and they go out and have fun while you do their work. You mow their grass because they are busy and then they call you up and ask when you are going to mow their grass and never offer to help you when you need it.

I have to quit discussing this or I will get depressed.

Where you been man? It's been 11 months, my garden is over grown, can barely see the house. I'm a busy guy, wtf? Thought we were friends? Guess you aren't that reliable...

a reply to: BelowLowAnnouncement

Some people believe they are entitled to be treat with good manners. This feeling of entitlement makes them inconsiderate in their reciprocation of those manners, they don't realise it is supposed to go both ways. It's pretty ignorant.

Thank you for this, it was the first thing I thought of when I read the OP.
Once I was at a coffee shop. There was a chic behind me with a coffee, we were both leaving at the same time. There was a set of two doors, I held the one with one arm and went to grab the other thinking she would do the same (like most normal people) Nope she didn't want to touch the door with her prissy fingers, so she shimmied around it while I am stretched like an octopus, So instead of holding the second door open for her she got a door slammed right in her face and spilled her coffee. (yes I did laugh an evil laugh)

I really do try to have good manners, but sometimes people are downright irritating. Another example.
If I am at a small grocery store and there are no small lines, I will gladly let someone with one or two items cut in front of me. If I am at a gigantic grocery store with tons of self scan checkouts and limited item checkouts, I will not let someone cut in front of me, I don't care if they only have one item and I have 300, they have other options and are choosing not to use them, no matter how hard they are breathing down my neck.

a reply to: JAGStorm

Door slammed? Glad its not just me.
Kudos my friend.
I usually find a loud Thank You after someone pushes through gets a nice scowl.