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A Stanford psychologist on the art of avoiding assholes

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posted on Mar, 7 2018 @ 03:55 PM
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originally posted by: FHomerK
a reply to: KarmasBiatch

In all seriousness, your post showed me one thing. That you, yourself, are the asshole here.

Whining, mass categorizing...... sad. Just plain sad. Just as sad as being acclaimed for "getting your power back".

Nobody *took* your power. You gave it up. There was a moment, early on, when you realized the person you were in a relationship was not treating you well. What did you do? You stayed in it, and allowed it to get worse. You allowed it to continue so that you'd have a relationship. Sad. Just plain sad.

Nobody can *take* your power. You voluntarily hand it over.

And then come to a freaking conspiracy site to whinge, cry, and seek out applause.


Sad. Just plain sad. You'll end up in yet *another* relationship like this, because you alone *choose* who to be with. And speaking honestly?


I think you like it. Just as much as you like the glad handing you are receiving here.

Anyways, I am done here. I am done with you. Look in the mirror, and ask yourself the hard questions you've so desperately avoided. Ask yourself why you allowed this things to happen to you time and time again.

Ask of yourself, how it is that you don't even love yourself enough to prevent yourself from experiencing things you shouldn't have to experience.

Choices. You made ALL of your own choices.

Sad.

I have been a member here for over a decade, and in all honesty this is the most hateful post I think I have ever read. The OP was about an article and how the poster related to that article. For whatever reason, this triggered you into a personal attack and outright character assassination is beyond me....but I completely miss the days on these boards where that would not be tolerated. Civility and decorum are obviously gone. You are entitled to your opinion. But to be sure...by tearing down another person no matter how you categorically justify it, you sir are yourself the epitome of this thread topic. What do you see when you look in the mirror ? Did your ego grow as a result of participating in this thread ?
I can tell you, not all choices in life are as black and white as you make them out to be...




posted on Mar, 7 2018 @ 04:04 PM
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a reply to: FHomerK

Your post lacks empathy.
I'm sorry you don't get it.
We are all beings in jars of clay.



posted on Mar, 7 2018 @ 04:06 PM
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a reply to: AccessDenied

Just calling it as I see it.


Sowwy, snowflake, sowwy.



posted on Mar, 7 2018 @ 04:08 PM
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originally posted by: Lucius Driftwood
a reply to: FHomerK

Your post lacks empathy.
I'm sorry you don't get it.
We are all beings in jars of clay.


WootWoo..... someone got my message. Yepp, you're damned right, ZERO empathy.

We all have and make our own choices in life. Some just like to lollygag and b**ch about it, receiving "kudos" for their "efforts".....

Nope, zip, nada, ZERO empathy.



posted on Mar, 7 2018 @ 04:21 PM
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originally posted by: EternalShadow
a reply to: KarmasBiatch

I'm curious to know what part of the situation are you responsible for. He treated you like snip. We all at some point get treated like snip. However, what did we do, or not do, to allow that to take place in our lives?

What could you, personally, have done to prevent this? Are you really mad at men or is it with yourself?





A-frakking-MEN!!!!!

Men bad, say anything that doesn't seek to console the OP and you're automatically "one of those" who are "obviously compensating for short-comings".....

And let's just take a look at that users name.... Karma's Biatch...... If you are "Karma's" b**ch....doesn't it somehow imply YOU YOURSELF did something wrong to actually DESERVE the treatment you're getting?

NAhhh, not in today's snowflake world... nobody is culpable for their own actions.

After all, we're all just VICTIMS....



posted on Mar, 7 2018 @ 04:25 PM
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a reply to: KarmasBiatch

Sounds like you've had some really bad luck. 3 bad relationships and now we're all bad guys who are never to be trusted?

With your outlook on life you may as well be dead already when you've written off over half of the earths inhabitants as untrustworthy and evil.

The path your going down isn't one that anyone is envious of, but it will never change for the better if you retain that horrible outlook on life.


edit on 7-3-2018 by Nucleardoom because: (no reason given)



posted on Mar, 7 2018 @ 04:27 PM
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This is what I say to everyone who has problems like this.

LOOK IN THE MIRROR.

If someone has a lifetime of relationship problems. Bad relationship, after bad relationship, after bad relationship. Look in the mirror and stay looking until you find out why you hate yourself. Once you have that figured out you can begin to learn to love yourself. Once you love yourself, your body develops an A-hole shield.

It may seem like magical hooha, but it just works. Kind of like water dowsing.

Some other helpful advice. Your not going to change someone. Your just not. But maybe if I do this and that. Probably not even then. Most people just are who they are.

If A-holes could not regularly get mates. There would not be many A-holes. But they do regularly get mates. Women seem to be attracted to bad boys who grow up to be bad men, and men seem to be attracted to wild girls who grow up to be wild women.

"Hes a such an asshole to me"

"You were attracted to him when he was an asshole to everyone else."

"She cheated on me the whooooore!"

"Uhhh, she was with someone else when you started seeing her. You did not care that she was cheating then."



posted on Mar, 7 2018 @ 04:34 PM
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wow this turned into a hot dumpster fire of a thread. lol



posted on Mar, 7 2018 @ 04:35 PM
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a reply to: KarmasBiatch


Unfortunately many Women are attracted to assholes and jerks, because that's what Society is pushing out on us. Not a lot of choices left these days you know.


I have always wondered why females are attracted to the aholes and jerks? I would suspect that this male segment only comprises about 5-10% of the male population but they are just soooo popular and in demand. It really isn't that hard to identify an ahole. They usually expose themselves within a day or two, but more often within hours.

There are a lot of best sellers and money makers that even teach the 'nice' guy on how to be a jerk. How to use the proper opening lines and methods to gain the female's attention and interest. Society likes to tell men that being a nice and a sensitive individual is the way to go, but usually after a few encounters, they realize the lie that it is.

I can understand the lack of confidence perceived to encompass the 'nice' male but I have witnessed many with the confidence and it dosen't really make a difference. I have read many testimonials to the power of attraction these jerks hold and I just don't get it. I don't think this is just you but as a personal question, why the attraction to these types in the first place?




posted on Mar, 7 2018 @ 04:45 PM
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a reply to: ClovenSky

They have evolved to want an Alpha.

Alphas can replace mates easily.



posted on Mar, 7 2018 @ 04:53 PM
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originally posted by: Lysergic
a reply to: ClovenSky

They have evolved to want an Alpha.

Alphas can replace mates easily.



I fully understand the concept and I know you understand AF BB as well. I was just curious to hear from a female why they pursue these types to begin with. But I don't think a response is inbound.



posted on Mar, 7 2018 @ 05:01 PM
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originally posted by: trollz

originally posted by: KarmasBiatch
When a Woman is alone and made to feel as insignificant as I was made to feel, it's heartbreaking, especially when the Man you trusted, uses, screws and then deletes you like you never existed. Thanks to the last prick, I will never trust Men again.


So basically, you're choosing to be a victim even in the absence of the person who tried to make you feel that way in the first place. Not only that, but you're passively-aggressively trying to push your victimhood off on other people by claiming you'll "never trust men again".

You can hide your weakness behind kickboxing and passive-aggressiveness all you want, but you're still mentally weak, and you're the reason assholes get away with the things they get away with. People who are confident and mentally, emotionally and spiritually strong aren't made to feel small and insignificant at the whims of someone else, and you know that.



In a word..... IWUBU!!!!!!!!!!



posted on Mar, 7 2018 @ 05:08 PM
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a reply to: trollz

Acknowledging their own shortcomings really doesn't fit into the whole "I'm a Victim" role that the OP has adopted as their replacement for an actual personality and method of navigating through life successfully.


ALWAYS easier to blame "da MAN" or all men, in this case.

Always EASIER, I tell you. OP is a sad, pathetic person..... 'nuff said.



posted on Mar, 7 2018 @ 05:16 PM
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a reply to: ClovenSky

oh my goodness this sure has grown lol. I actually don't seek out assholes they seek me out.



posted on Mar, 7 2018 @ 05:17 PM
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Oh the irony.. I could be looking far and wide for a decent girl, yet they are all shacked up with assholes.

Then when I come around, they don't even give you the time of day. Women are hopeless.

ETA: I can be both types of guys. Either a sweet guy, or an asshole, whatever flavor they prefer, I usually deliver on all fronts.
edit on 3/7/2018 by eXia7 because: (no reason given)



posted on Mar, 7 2018 @ 05:19 PM
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a reply to: KarmasBiatch


Yet again, refusing to accept responsibility for your own life, your own actions.

"I just attract assholes!"

Sowwy sweetie. You allow it to happen, or possibly even WANT it to happen. Pure and simple.



posted on Mar, 7 2018 @ 05:21 PM
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a reply to: FHomerK

Didn't you used to be Satan?

LOL.. anyways my Girlfriends and I were sitting around and thinking about turds like yourself while we were writing a paper on Relationships and our own experiences for a College ed class. I wanted to wait to post that part because I wanted to see just how many angry people would attack me over it, and you Win! You are now the subject of our paper and I think I'm going to get an A+ for this thanks to your dumb remarks and ignorant bastard reply's. Way to Go HOMER!! The class will find you a Superb Male Specimen as how not to behave and what a Male subject should NOT do to find a lifetime Mate.




posted on Mar, 7 2018 @ 05:23 PM
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a reply to: KarmasBiatch

Were I to reply to you with the true width and measure of my thoughts, I'd be bounced from the board.


Have fun being the victim, sweetcheeks. Have fun.



posted on Mar, 7 2018 @ 05:26 PM
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Sorry folks, need to say it. This "woman" that happens to be the OP, is a truly sad representative of a human being.

Nothing is her fault. Everything is done to her. She's a victim, and ASSHOLES seek her out !!!!!


Slice through the feces, and see this for what it is. A horrible, ugly person (inside honey, not outside), who is living out some retarded self version of Munchhausen's by Proxy....only without the proxy.



posted on Mar, 7 2018 @ 05:33 PM
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a reply to: FHomerK

I love to wallow in the battle of the sexes as well. It is one of my favorite subjects to research when passing the time becomes necessary.

But at some point, instead of pointing fingers through our much different viewpoints, maybe it will be time to start honestly discussing our limitations between each other. At some point, don't you become curious to see what tools will be necessary to heal this divide?

Being out of the game, most of the time I welcome the escalation of tensions but sometimes curiosity will win out and I like to think of what could bring positive changes to this arena.




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